DS

a careless whisper to ishan

2011-04-29T00:01:00.001+05:00

repeating careless whisper on my walkman on my bed feeling hurt… before i know the meaning of hurt is. on the bed feeling how hurt this man is hanging on a rope singing about a whisper of a good friend. he sure is never gonna dance again. but it's easy to pretend. he's got a wasted chance to dance. but he's never gonna dance like he danced with you. on a bed of roses hurt by the thorns. the music seems so long tonight. she's flying off on a jet. please stay.

His shiny thala and her mustache

2011-03-06T18:53:00.001+05:00

guitar riff of phil collin's another day in paradise. it's cold. i have lived in my island for the last year or so. its fun. i enjoy. i do nothing. the nothingness to think. me in paradise. like mr collins say. 'just another day in paradise'. no internet. no way to even think about internet. broadband is more like a broad daylight robbery. think twice. lets think about it. specially its arousing the way he sings the last chorus bit, the dramatic light casting shadows. Ohhh Ohhh. It's another day for you and me in paradise. Performing orgies one after the other. Hey wait I don't even have internet. I don't got a webcamera on my computer's camera. I'm not gonna be working at president's office. Lets sing about it. Lets think about it.

Handulu Gulha Pizza

2010-08-26T20:48:00.000+05:00

A gift for all you riders of waves on this holy month of spiritual ridings I present to you the recipe which you all can ask your mothers or wives to make with their maids at home when you turn off the wave. It is the most modern and most merciful for any dhivehin who loves Joey and has a thing for italian tourism market.

Ingredients
1 smoked fish (valhow mas)
1 grated coconut
1/2 inch of ginger
3 chillies (or more!!)
1 onion
3 curry leaves
1 tsp turmeric powder
2 cup rice (soaked overnight in water)
salt (dhe ingili kurin negey varuge)
mozzarella cheese

Making this pizza is fun, healthy and local. Now lets get started. Make the dough as you would do for making Gulha using the soaked rice. When done mix and make the mas gandu, and spread it on top of the dough. This is where mozzarella comes handy. If this doens't work get a pre-made pizza dough from Fantasy as well. Buy the Gulha from Memorial Hotel and take the mixture and spread it on top of the dough. Now add some tomato sauce and tell your friends that it's a local pizza. "It feels like making love to Monica Belucci on a Holhu Ashi" says my friend Roberto Nizar who has had a taste of it. Enjoy.
Juway's Rating - 5 star!

How and why online delivery services will fail in the squire-mile capital Male'

2010-08-10T13:40:00.001+05:00

by our very cool geeky looking icon of online correspondent

It capitalizes on other failures.

1. FAILURE OF PEOPLE: to get up on their own butts and get it and make the courts independent. Obviously anyone using this service would have an iphone like phone and a wave like motorcycle and would be familiar with lavaza culture. And people will never fail!

2. FAILURE OF MALE' PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEM: though the government has pledged to connect all islands, our Male' municipality has yet to employ someone with the capacity to conceive the necessity here. Perhaps the local council elections will change this.

3. FAILIURE TO RECOGNIZE THE POTENTIAL MARKET FOR THE RESTAURANTS: most restaurants already has this service. Its very few places like Seahouse that are still technologically a little behind without an online menu for delivery. But this is destined to change which would leave only the bad ones like Hotel Baadhalaa 2 for deliveries.

If not absorbed by a restaurant chain which can be advertised as "Lemongrass buys out fancyname.com for an undisclosed sum" equivalent to a fraction of money that would easily do a basic website for them. Thus this modern day aigaadiyaa dhemun delivery will not sustain. Sorry cool guys. It's not as bad as wataniya's new website though. But we'll only know how from a future podcast about this. I really love that.

Innovative review of our http://smoke.machine.mv

2010-08-06T00:25:00.002+05:00

Great idea from the greatest of the new hybrid innovators of the technological venture capitalist of the internet of this Maldives

I sit here very busy doing my dot coms and pod casts and taking pictures of pod casts and making videos about this. It makes me very famous and makes me feel very technologically advanced, specially among me and my five or six friends who I like to go and have coffee sometimes with and talk about my greatest of all the innovations, the names I choose, and me me and me. The most innovative group me, the tech guy who likes to look like a geek icon, believe it or not, listen to my pod cast you'll know what I mean. So clean and great.

And today as I was recording my podcast we have got the greatest idea and now i have secured a dot come. The http://smoke.machine.mv. This is a dot come machine I am inventive with my other counter part who also has the same name as me, but he's not the CEO but the Junior CEO of Innovation and Invocation. Very geeky and advance only the very new american teeny boppers will understand what I'm saying, because these are so very cool things we are doing, so from the heart of silicon valley (near faafu atollhu velidhoo).

This new product is for hithaanu season, specially for this year 2010 and 2011. Everybody get ready for Haaburi and sing and dance, Tharbe and the girly boys. Now with a ipod app called smoke.machine.mv (our latest venture) you can make smoke come out of any home from your mobile phone app. This is done in very quick 5 minute programming done by our tech staff which he build a unix pipe that connects to Majeedhee magu and the dust is converted to smoke and send to the hithaanu house! All this for free. More baout this on out next pod cast be ready for sweet and juice details!!!

Love you all!

Zakir Nayak and Kal Nayak is from India!

2010-05-26T21:28:00.003+05:00

Here's for the ladies revealing Cholhike Piese by Nayak (not a PhD Doctor).

an open letter to the wise president

2010-04-26T01:09:00.001+05:00

on my own time, in my own world. i miss my mundu which i feel natural inside. hanging myself down with the air flowing. the breeze of my island. with one hand behind my back the other leaning on the wall. looking at the corner of a wall. one wall meeting the other near a door. how clever. and then suddenly i see my car going in front of me. it cannot be. but it had the emblem plates. it cannot be anni at this time, or the majlis guy, because it's a used benz. it's my car. my driver perhaps taking his girlfriend for a ride... or i'm day dreaming... like i always do. i'm the wise president.

-written by his son.

Maldives Scientists Association has declared that Maldives is carbon neutral

2010-04-12T17:35:00.001+05:00

With great effort and international publicity campaigns, president Nasheed is able to speed up the process of making Maldives carbon neutral 10 years ahead of schedule. Thanks to the great number of ministers and envoys pushing their limits working hard reaching this goal sooner. Though some scientists agree that Maldives has always been carbon neutral in the last 2 million years, there were no peer reviewed papers and test tube based experiments done by humans or any other animals proving this.

Chief lawyer for Maldives Scientists Association* today declared that based on new papers (recycled), that Maldives is 100% carbon neutral. (except for Le Cute, because they used paper to advertise it).

*not to be confused with the real scientists association in the Maldives (who likes to watch the sky for Gods) with almost all the scientists in the field.

Journey to meet Dhon Adhambe - Part 1

2010-01-15T00:39:00.000+05:00

Thursday morning 7:38am captan Abdullabe started the engine and my journey begins on this small but beautiful dhoni which is destined to reach Baa Atoll, my destination. I played thaas (cards) with my friend Haneef, Abdusattar, and Ibu on the 8 hour boat trip which we stopped for lunch cooked by the boys of Kappi and for Haneef to pray facing Mecca the Qibla.

Today is a hot day and the sea is very calm and almost not windy. This made me thirsty a lot. we fulfilled our thirst with coca-cola by Universal Enterprises and Resorts Pvt Ltd and aquafresh water by the same coke company served in silver bottles named Bon aqua very fresh.

At 16:14 I was on the island with my two modern backpack filled with 3 shorts, 6 t-shirts (branded) and 1 long jeans (Denim). After keeping the stuff at the house I went to meet Hassan and Kareem who were playing football on the dhandu. I joined in and few runs and I was dead tired and sweaty. But it was very nice experience. All the girls wearing burugaas are looking at my shorts. wow.

At six o-clock I went into the gifili (a room with a well known as a valhu) and I put the dhaani (a stick joined to a large coast milk can) inside the well and fill it up with water. Poured it on my head with cold water of the island. It was so araamu. Each drop of water touched my skin with a sensation that I wished to last forever. The dhaani filled with islandy cold water pouring onto my head cleaning the accumulated salty heat of the trip of my whole life. I felt like this is honestly the most satisfactory experience a person can ever have in an island. Meditative, dark, no sound except the sound of waves and an occasional bird flying with nature, and a giggle behind the coral walls of my gifili, my meditation garden of delight. I repeatedly did the dhaani movement up an down, up and down over my head until I reach the movement of no return and then I let go as pure white coming out of the shower. I dressed well and came to my folding bed (faijehi endhu) and nothing, nothing has changed in this island in the past 800 or so years since it was populated first by the settlers from Sri Lanka, except may be my iphone 3Gs and the Wataniya signal that enabled me to write this blog entry. I sleep now and good night.

Hajja Day

2009-11-26T10:11:00.000+05:00

Today (or tomorrow) we Maldivians mark the international day of Hajja. Today is the day all of us gather near Yasir Arafath and listen to the Friday prayers. The Hajja-Al-Wadhaa by late Maumoon Gayyoom was the most remarkable journey of human kind. All population of Male' gather near Endherimaage Maalam to pray and listen to the Last Sermon by Gayyoom (P.B.U.P). In his sermon he relates to the past, present and future of monkeys and apes and DRP members who is also MDP.

His closest of the friends Abu-Bakru-al-Zaki said Gayyoom is the never lying father of our religion called Extremism. Hajja is an extreme buddy who goes around naked wearing no underwear circling around a Kaubathul House of Fulhu. Fulhu is an very old and best activist of MDP. We love Hajja and Eid Mubaarik.

Note: Hajja will be circumcised from tomorrow. Party at house all night with shemales and winged pigs (free from bird and swine roaga) dancing in each others clothes.

A Burugaa for Hajja

2009-11-05T16:58:00.002+05:00

Hajja wants me to make a dress for her to wear on for the Alha-Eid ceremony (Muslim Halloween) after Hajj (not to be confused with sexy Hajja). Hajja wears burugaa and very tight long sleeved t-shirts and a summer dress with a bra won top of that. she wears jeans fitting her butt and legs like a butt-glove.

I proposed for her to take a naked picture of her and print it on the t-shirt she wears. Printed boobs matching her real. This would qualify as a cover for her large bosoms. And then to buy a wig from Watsons of Male' (Fresh Air Shop) and wear it over her head. Our local Mulla sheikh says it will fulfill the Burugaa Commandment. Tomorrow our friend photo Jihattey is coming to take the naked pics of her. And we have bought T-shirt transfer paper to print it. If anyone wanna join drop by our studio, preferably naked.

The best use of Newspapers

2009-10-26T00:12:00.000+05:00

Unwrapping the tip of the cone. Slowly with my fingers. Placing it upside-down on to my mouth. Slowly rolling it a little with my two fingers. Index finger and thumb. Tapping it now. And then the precum and the great ejaculation, oh my god, ejaculating from the newspaper cone into my mouth is the sweet taste of killi. Blood red in color mixed with sugar previously chewed by a sweaty old man, made with fermented "Foah" and bileh. In the hottest sun. The cum killi is dancing in my mouth. Oh badhbanjaae! My mouth secrete extra saliva lubricating it.

Wow what a feeling. A disco in my mouth while I walk to my Wave125i. And then I sit and look at myself on the rear-view-mirror, oh how handsome. I am selfgay, I am definitely. And then my mouth expels a viscous sip of saliva mixed with red killi on to the ground making my symbol. I am thinking of Abdullah Hameed - our sexy gay spokesperson. What a body he has. Oh all male people come to our gay gathering at 12:35pm every friday and don't bring your wives. because our dicks are lubricated and ready for asses. Killi dreams and killli cones. Oh... baadh banjaae!!

What is 350 and why is it in the Maldives?

2009-10-17T23:40:00.000+05:00

Ever since I came back from my Oxford education from the greatest capital of Malaysia Desekiyara condominium I have been seeing a lot of things about 350. Everybody is talking about 350. 350 350 350. So I asked my science friend what it is. He is very scientific and from the science Association of Maldives and Malaysia (double degree holder). He says:

"350 is the number of carbondioxygen things in one million dollars of air particles. For every tourist dollar we spend, they bring 350 dollars of carbondioxygen from traveling from Europe, England and Japan every day. So unless we have a large format offset printer we will go under water in the next cabinet meeting." Dr. Spokesman for Science Ass. (not yet dr. but soon in the next 15 years will be dr.)

So it got all of my buddies thinking. What can we do on our wave cycles? So buddy Raittey says, why dont we drive our motorcycles 350 rounds around male' every day? Sounds like a good idea. So we are doing it now. non-stop. and on break we are talking a lot about environments and resort deal investments and non-alchoholic beer. Environment is very good. we have to save the earth in every way we can, even if it takes riding big motocycles. Because we get very famous with this kind of things. Being famous can save anyone anytime. This is very special scientific facts only scientists can think of.

So anyone wanna join our 350 rounds of motocycle rides around Male' for saving the world, join us on 24 octoboer 2009 near 1 number jetty. thank you very much.

Special thanks to 350.org, Scientists of Maldives and the cabinet in my kitchen.

Wow. I got Hilathed.

2009-10-05T04:57:00.000+05:00

This site may be a very slowed or down due to high traffic for proudly being Hilathed today.

My Oxford experience

2009-10-04T07:56:00.000+05:00

Today I have graduated from my Malay university college of Help with a diploma in Headmaster accredited only by Maldives board of accreditation. I will be going back to my atoll to join as the Headmaster of the school where I was boned. Today I would like to thank a lot of people. First of all my boss who with his connections with lots of people of both regimes facilitated my education and job

Second all the instruments in my Farugaalu Foshi (The Oxford Set of Instruments). Without which I couldn't have finished my P.H.D (Preschool Headmaster Diploma) so easily. It was so instrumental in bringing me close to my soul. Specially the points of the dividers which I sometimes pinch myself with. The great Divider which divided me and my islanders, is one of the little things in the set which I have only recently discovered its function.

The compass helped me navigate the rough seas of the Kaashidhoo Kandu, and also helped me draw the circles. I can draw them on various sizes just by adjusting the lever! wow. Only from Oxford that kind of thoughts can come from.

The two Set Squares are so useful when I forget my rulers, I used them to draw straight lines. I use the inside part to draw decorative triangles on my thesis papers.

The rulers, without which there will be no lines in my world. The short rulers which I call the pocket rulers, I carry them with me where ever I go. It is so helpful to draw lines even long lines. The accompanying little (pocket) pencil is also very helpful. The yellow ones, sometimes I tell my friends that the Malay Ikea people copied their pencil from my Oxford set.

The paper which is usually kept inside as a lining for the very useful metal casing also deserve equal thanks. I wrote my name and phone number on the paper. And the day I forgot it in a nearby Bukit, they called me to return it.

And last but not the least is the metal case. It is by far the best designer box I have. I have this idea which I want to sell to Gucci or Giodano to make a Male purse shaped like this. I have been using mine for a couple of years now, and now it's a bit rusted. It's an antique now which I intend to donate to the Oxford museum with my thesis.

And last of all I would like to thank Helix for making it possible. I arrived Male' lastnight's flight, and Male' is so changed now that I have a lot to write soon. Until then, Good Night from Galolhu.

I am proud to be an Indian!

2009-07-11T04:58:00.000+05:00

Ahhh. Long time no blogging. I thought blogging would go out of fashion and i dont want to do old fashion things because I'm cool. Now i am in Maley studying IT and selling IT things to my atoll. Starbux is the coolest hangout place. And MEGA (& lowyat) is for best shopping. We also play futsal and get sponsors.

Many of us hate it when people specially taxi drivers ask "are you indian"? Maldivian's hate that question. But I don't hate it. I get kind of proud when they ask me that. Because India is much better in every way than Maldives. They have a better history, better culture and a better life. And they are much cooler too! Why else would the Beatles go to india for soul seeking? And what about the Slumdog Millionaire?

The truth is Maldivians look so much like people from the Indian subcontinent (including Paki, Bangla etc) that even most of my coolest dhivehi friends mistake us for indians. Sometimes people say that I look like Hirthik and no one will refuse a dance invitation from the sexy Kareena.

Our indian resemblance is undeniable. The help indian gavarumant is giving us is keeping our economy. They are doing most of the work building our country. They use our country (and Malay) better than the natives. And we Maldives government is doing everything india is telling us to do with so many Millions of $$$! So we are cool Indians!

Islamic Ministry should ban Islamic Ministry

2009-06-03T20:02:00.000+05:00

Islamic Ministry is becoming notorious for banning and abolishing things in the Maldives. The reasons are usually 'complains' from the public. Who the fuck is this Islamic public who complains about everything on earth? Why don't they stay at home and own their own business. What if the wives of this so called Islamic community starts complaining about domestic violence and sexual abuse?

Islamic Ministry should start counseling sessions now, first starting from themselves first. Practice what you believe without forcing others to do as you wish. Without getting into the freedom of others. Now some might say that it is what your God intends, but remember majority of this world don't believe in your God, or your religion, and don't give a fuck.

Magical mystery Maldivians during election

2009-05-03T16:39:00.000+05:00

Abbas was a poor man. His house was lit by one Kerosene lamp. Abbas does his toilet in the sea outside the walls of Fura Male'.

On day after having a sip from fermented coconut (wine) on one of his near the sea sessions to fetch shells, he found a glowing stone. He picked it up and hid under his striped sarong. At night near the Kerosene lamp Abbas stroked the glowing stone with his right hand and out came some smoke and a huge Jinni.

"Master, Master Thank you so much. I have been trapped in here for a 1000 years. Only you can free me out of this, and I will grant you 3 wishes."

Topless Abbass was overwhelmed and puzzled. He was not a believer of Jinns as such, but this is happening in front of him. The Jinni was growing even larger. Abbass got more scared.

"Abbass, my dear. You don't have to be scared. My name is Gayyoom. Hayul Gayyoom al Azhar. I have only one demand from you. To set me free."

Abbass still not in his senses, and covering his face with his not so clean sarong was now trying to get his brain to work. He was thinking like an "inventor". He wants to steal a machine. A machine from Nasir.

Jinni Gayyoom was not expecting a wish like this. But decided to grant this wish on one condition that, Abbass gives his sister to marry the Jinni. The deal is done. Jinni was freed. It shrunk back to his normal short size, flew to Azhar, his home town, with Abbas's sister and a bunch of nighties.

The machine:
Nasir, undoubtedly a much better inventor than Thomas Edition and Ibn Sina combined, had been working on the greatest invention of all time. This is better than his radio, he himself tuned from inside of his own house.

The people making machine. This machine can create people. Nasir is a great thinker. He knew that the most disadvantage of the country was due to it's small population and lack of land. So Nasir's mission was to make a machine to produce a lot of people, and then another machine to produce a lot of land. (He succeeded: he moved to England).

Jinn stole Nasir's people making machine for Abbas. Abbas now pressed all the buttons and turned all the knobs. And wow! "Dhoonithah... Dhoonithah... Ma govaigen dhaashe" he said! it was a bunch of people. All sizes and shapes. He killed the first batch of 1,000 people. Then he made more sophisticated adjustment and wooosh came another batch. Much better.

With this technique he was able to adjust the election results for ages. And one thing ruthless Abbas made sure he did was that to kill all the people who he produced when the elections are over. Well, except for the few of the dumbest, which the elitists can use as subservient slaves to work for them in their businesses and at home.

In the year 2008, things changed. Abbas accidently left his machine unlocked, and Nasheed got hold of it. Nasheed the champion of democracy and who holds such titles as Asia's Obama, and Galolhu's Mugabe got to use this machine. But Nasheed is more cowardly than the ruthless Abbas. Nasheed does not kill the people he produces. And look now. The whole Maldives if filled up.

And also Nasheed plays with the machine too much, when ever he gets a call from a Dhaaria doing too bad, me makes tons of more people and sends them off. Democracy machine is now in his hand... and Maldives is polluted with all these. There is no wall without a group of these person tiled up in a crooked grid. There's no where that you don't here these people screaming senseless speeches. The freed jinni should have been trapped forever.

Himeyn Inglaab: Advanced advice from University of Oxford, Baazaru Branch

2008-12-04T15:55:00.004+05:00

މީގެދުވަސްކޮޅެށް‮ ‬ކުރިން‮ ‬އިންޓަރނެޓަށް‮ ‬އުފަންވި‮ ‬އެންމެ‮ ‬މޮޅު‮ ‬ބުލޮގަކީ‮ ‬ޝައްކެއްވެސް‮ ‬ނެތްގޮތުގައި‮ ‬ހިމޭންއިންގިލާބެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬އޭގެފަހަތުގައި‮ ‬ބައިވަރުސަބަބު‮ތަކާއިހެދި‮ ‬ފޮރުވިފައިވާ‮ ‬މުޅިދުނިޔޭންވެސް‮
‬އެންމެމޮޅު‮ ‬ކިޔަވާއިގެންތިބި‮ ‬ސައެންޓިސްޓުން‮ ‬މަސައްކަތްކުރެއެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬ތިރީގައިމިވަނީ‮ ‬ހިމޭން‮ ‬އިންގިލާބަށް‮ ޑީއެސްގެ‮ ‬މޮޅު‮ ‬ޓީމުން‮ ‬ހިލޭ‮ ‬އަރުވާ‮ ވަރަށް‬މޮޅު‮ ‬އިރުސާދުކުޅެކެވެ‮.‬‮‬‮ ‬ކުރިޔައްއޮތް‮ ‬ފަނަރަދުވަހުގެ‮ ‬ތެރޭގައި‮ ‬މިގޮތަށް‮ ‬ހިމޭން‮ ‬އިންގިލާބު‮ ‬ބަދަލުނުކޮށްފިނަމަ‮ ‬މުޅިސައިޓު‮ ‬ހިމޭން‮ ‬ކަމުގެ‮ ‬ތެރެޔައް‮ ‬ގެއްލި‮ ‬ގޮސް‮ ‬ހުސްވެދާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓުގެ‮ ކުލަ‮ ‬ފިޔާތޮއްޓަށް‮ ‬ބަދަލުކުރުނ‮ް‮‮.‬‮ ‬ހާއްސަކޮށް‮ ‬ލިޔެފައިވާ‮ ‬ލިޔުންތަކުގެ‮ ‬ކުލަ‮.‬‮ ‬ފިޔާތޮށިކުލަޔަކީ‮ ‬ނިކަން‮ ‬ލޯބިކުލަޔެކެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬މިކުލަލާފައިވާ‮ ‬ސައިޓުތަކުގ‮ެ‮ ‬ފެންވަރު‮ މަތިވާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓަށްވަންނަތަނާ‮ ‬ލަވަޔެއްގެ‮ ‬އަޑުއިވުން‮.‬‮ ‬ބްރިޓްނީ‮ ‬ސްޕިއަރސް‮ ‬އަދި‮ ‬ބްރިޓްނީ‮ ‬މާރފީގެ‮ ‬ލަވަތައް ‬އޮޓޮމެޓިކުން‮ ‬ކުޅެވޭ‮ ‬ޕްލެޔަރެއް‮ ‮ ‬ވަރަށްމުހިއްމުއެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬މިސާލަކަށް‮ ‬މައިސްޕޭސް‮ ‬ފަދަ‮ ‬ދުނިޔެގަބޫލުކުރާ‮ ‬ސައިޓުތަކުގައި‮ ‬މިފީޗާރގެ‮ ‬މުހިއްމުކަން‮ ‬ފާހަގަކޮއްލެވެއެވެ‮.‬

ރެސިޕީ‮ ‬ސެކްޝަނެއް‮ ‬ހެދުން‮.‬‮ ‬މިކަމުންދޭހަވަނީ‮ ‬ސައިޓުގެ‮ ‬ދުރުވިސްނޭކަމެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬ކުރިޔައްއޮތ‮ް‮ ‬ދިހަވަރަކަށް‮ ‬މަސްތެރޭގައި‮ ‬ރޯދަމަސް‮ ‬އެބައާދެއެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬އަދި‮ ‬ދުރާލާ‮ ‬ރެސިޕީތައް‮ ‬ބަލަން‮ ‬ސައިޓުބަލާމީހުނަށް‮ ‬ހިތްވަރުދިނުން‮ ‬އެއީ‮ ‬މޮޅުކަމެކެވެ‮.‬‮

ލިޔުންތަކުގެ‮ ‬ތެރޭގައި‮ ‬ބޭރުގެ‮ ‮ ‬މޮޅެތި‮ ‬ލިޔުންތެރީންނާއި‮ ‬ފާޑުފާޑުގެ‮ ‬ޑޮކްޓަރުން‮ ‬ކޮއްފާއިވާދިރާސާތަކަށް‮ ‬މިހާރަށްވުރެން‮ ‬ބޮޑަށްބައްލަވާ‮ ‬ރިފަރަންސް‮ ‬ޖެއްސެވުން‮.‬‮ ‬ހާއްސަކޮށް‮ ‬ސައެންސު‮ ‬ޖާރނަލްތަކަށް‮ ‬އަލިއަޅުވާލެވިދާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓުގެ‮ ‬މަތީކަނުގައި‮ ‬ހަތަރުފޫޓު‮ ‮ ‬އައްފޫޓުގެ‮ ‬ފާހަނާއެއް‮ ‬ހަރުކުރުން‮ ‬ވަރަށްމުހިއްމެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬މިފާހަނާގައި‮ ‬ތިރިފާހަނާތައްޓަކާއި‮ ‬މޫނުދޮންނަތައްޓެއް‮ ‬ބަހައްޓަން‮ ‬ވާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓުގައި‮ ‬ޖޯކު‮ ‬ކެޓަގަރީއެއް‮ ‬އުފައްދާ،‮ ‬މިހާރުހުރި‮‮ ‬ހުރިހާ ‬އާރޓިކަލްތައް‮ ‬އެތަނަށް‮ ‬އެޅުން.‬

ސައިޓުގައި‮ ‬ހައިކޯޓަކާ،‮ ‬ސުޕުރީމްކޯޓަކާ‮ ‬ގާޒިޔަކާ‮ ‬ފޮރިން‮ ‬މިނިސްޓަރަކާ،‮ ‬ޖަސްޓިސްމިނިސްޓަރަކާ‮ ‬އެޑްވައިޒަރެއް‮ ‬ހަރުކުރުން‮.‬‮ ‬މިކަން‮ ‬މޭކް‮ ‬ޕުވާރޓީ‮ ‬ހިސްޓްރީ‮ ‬ބެނޭފަދައިނ‮ ‬ކުރެވިދާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓުގެ‮ ‬މައިގަނޑު‮ ‬ކޮންޓެންޓް‮ ‬އެޑިޓޯރިއަލް‮ ‬ކައުންސިލަކުން‮ ‬އުފައްދާއެޑިޓްކުރުން‮.‬‮ ‬އެޑިޓޯރިއަލް‮ ‬ކައުންސިލާއި‮ ‬ގަވަނިގް‮ ‬ޕާރޓީ‮ ‬އޮފް‮ ‬ދަ‮ ‬ހިމޭން‮ ‬ރެވެލޯޝަން‮ ‬ހޮވާނީ ‮ ‬އަހަރަކު‮ ‬އެއްފަހަރު‮ ‬އިލެކްޝަންސް‮ ‬ކޮމިޝަނުން ‬މުޅިދުނިޔޭން‮ ‬އެންމެމޮޅުމީހުން‮ ‬ކޮޅުގެތެރޭގައި‮ ‬ބާއް‮ވާ ‬އިންތިހާބަކަށްފަހު‮.‬

ޖޫސް‮ ‬އަދި‮ ‬ސަރުބަތު‮ ‬މީރުކޮށް‮ ‬ގިރަން‮ ‬އެގުން‮.‬

ބަޖިޔާ‮.‬

ފާރިޝް‮ ‬ވެރިކަމަށް‮ ގެންނަންއުޅެނީޔޭކިޔައިގެނ‮ް‮ ‬ދަމާފައިވާ‮ ‬ފަތިވަރުތަށް‮ ‬ހަމައެކަނި‮ ‬ލޮގިންކޮށްގެން‮ ‬ފެންނަގޮތަށް‮ ‬ހެދުން‮.‬‮ ‬އެ‮ފަދަ‮ ‬ޓޮޕް‮ ‬ސީކްރެޓް‮ ‬ކޮންޕިރެސީތައް‮ ‬ފެނިފައި‮ ‬ޖޭމްސް‮ ‬ބޮންޑު‮ ‬އައިސް‮ ‬ސައިޓު‮ ‬ހެކުއަރުވާލަފާނެ‮.‬

ރުގިއްޔާ‮ ‬ސިއްރުން‮ ‬ބަންނަން‮ ‬އުޅޭ‮ ‬އޮޑީގަތެރެޔައް‮ ‬އެރެއޮވެ‮ ‬ސައިޓައް‮ ‬ކުޅުޖެހުން‮.‬

މިކަންކަން‮ ‬މިވަގުތުން‮ ‬ވަގުތަށް‮ ‬ނުކޮއްފިނަމަ‮ ‬ސައިޓު‮ ‬ބަންޑުންގޮސް‮ ‬ދިވެހީންނަކީ‮ ‬ކަނޑުކޮސް‮ ‬ބަޔެއްނޫންކަން‮ ‬ސައިޓު‮ ‬ހަދާ‮ ‬ހަރަދުކުރާފަރާތައް ‬ފަޅާއަރާފާނެއެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬އިހުތިރާމު‮.‬‮ ‬ﷲގެ‮ ‬ކުޅަދުން‮ ‬ވަތަކަމުގެ‮ ‬ކޮޅެއްނެތެވެ‮.‬

ޑރ‮.‬‮ ‬ޑީއެސް‮ ‬ޕީ‮ ‬އެޗް‮ ‬ޑީ‮ ‬އެމް‮ ‬ފިލް‮ ‬ޕީ‮ ‬އެޗް‮ ‬ޑީ‮ ‬ޓޫ‮

Bushree to destroy Theemuge

2008-11-20T16:25:00.000+05:00

I am openly asking Bushree to destroy Theemuge. He can say that it's his own idea as long as he gets the task done. He can whisper it to the president in one of his advise giving sessions.

Reasons:
1. Theemuge is the most secure building in the Maldives.
2. Theemuge holds the record of highest running cost in the Maldives
3. There is no benefit from Theemuge to anyone.

Anni has repeatedly said that he would not reside there. Theemuge (the old Vaahakage) is too big and costs too much daily for a president.

And now a specialist group of the most vocal Maldivians are assessing the possibilities of what to do in Theemuge. Haveeru thinks Theemuge would make a good fishmarket. Rasheed thinks it'll make a good toilet. Rozana wants a health club there, Muneera wants a volley court. Thilakaratna wants a park. Razeen wants a university.

Building or restructuring would obviously involve a lot of cost on top of the running costs. Maldives has no money. Destroying is the only option, besides it will increase the value of the Universal building in front of Theemuge.

Emergence of Fake Anni

2008-11-19T07:32:00.001+05:00

On the night of 28th October 2008, when Gayyoom was sure that he was not winning according the the results presented by Mariyam Waheedha of TVM, he deployed his last weapon - The Fake Anni.

Anni the person who was with the people, who listened to people and who involved people in decision making is stripped down to his shorts and chained in dark room in the basement of Theemuge. No one knows if he's alive or dead.

The Fake Anni:
This is a look-a-like of Anni (with special plastic surgery by DR. Cheow Klin of Singapore). His task is to act as much as possible like a Gayyoom but not necessarily the same way. Cut down ministers, add state ministers. Cut down ministries, add departments. This also explains a lot of what Fake Anni and Gayyoom has been doing together on media.

Fake Anni is obviously having a hard time balancing. How does he select ministers? friends, and friends of family? the person who shouts 'i want to be a minister' louder gets a ministry? by this i mean whoever gets more attention gets a post? how else can some of the ministers be explained?

Anyway, I hope the real Anni will escape out of the basement and really cut down these ministries, and make the government smaller. Only if he had watched Prison Break first season to get some experience.

perhaps the loud mouths needed to boost their ego for the first few months with the fake Anni. Perhaps Anni is just making them happy for few days on our expense. We should protest!

We will take DRP and Maumoon to justice: We have not forgiven him. We will not obey Anni.

2008-11-01T04:28:00.000+05:00

DRP
A party formed by dictator Maumoon Abdul Gayyoom. DRP's values are to support corruption, torture and killing anyone who speaks against them. Anyone who supported the party by will is supporting a system against humanity.

Like most Maldivians, I myself have gone through the bitter side of the regime, in many occasions than just one. I do not want to forgive him. I will take the regime and all who supported this to an independent court. I will make sure that they get the punishment they deserve. This is very important to avoid our country going back to a dictatorship.

There are valid cases with proof for all top level DRP members. We will take you to the independent court that will be established. And we will expose all you have done. We will not let you live free! You fucking assholes. You have abused your power and committed atrocities taking advantage of the poor people. It is people's rule now. We will not let DRP exist any more. DRP is a party running against all democratic values. In a democracy there is no place for DRP!. So be prepared to defend yourselves with big Bangladeshi lawyers. We will go after the money you stole from us. We will make sure to keep you busy for few years to come with cases against you.

And President Anni: this is not your business. Now that there is separation of powers you cannot interfere with the course of justice. And if you do, we will bring you down instantly.

If all candidates sucks, don't wait at home: Vote Invalid

2008-10-03T00:14:00.001+05:00

This is part of Invalid Vote campaign:
Adheel (a very philosophical bugger) and I were talking siyaasee last night. Adheel asked me who i am voting. I said I am voting Anni. He asked me why, I said Anni is not perfect. He has a lot of bad qualities like putting his relatives in MDP things, and being very dictatorial, and being too fake these days trying to pretend to be Maumoon. MDP has maumoonist corrupt people in the party, like Ibrahim Hussain Zaki who has eaten millions of tourism dollars. But why I choose Anni is he is by far much much better than the rest of the jerks. Gasim, an idiot, only good for a comedian, Hassan is more maumoonist than even maumoon himself and Maumoon surely the dictator has who to be taken out. The other three have no chance of getting more than 5% of the votes combined, so weak and so useless.

And Adheel said "so you are voting Anni because you have no better choice" and I said yeah. Here comes Mr. Adheel's idea:

If all candidates are terrible, don't wait at home without voting, it'll only make an idiot win. Instead do an invalid vote! Staying home will not make your voice count in the result, but if you bother to show up and vote a cross for all candidates, it'll be counted as an invalid vote, and you have made a statement. All candidates Suck.

With this Adheel has made me re-think my choice.

Revolution Begins: Me and my bird's experience

2008-09-06T07:50:00.000+05:00

The Man:
Without a 2nd thought I accepted the invitation from my hero and the famous businessman Gasim. I have been friends with him for a long time. He was the person who helped me out during the days I suffered when I was studying for my law degree in KL. When the government cut funding, he helped me financially. Since then we have kept in touch and I have professionally handled a lot of his cases during my lawyer days. In the Majlis we both were on the same side, and he is a kind man with a big heart. Often too big. He is one of my idols. He has money, wives and slaves. Though he resigned from DRP, we still maintain a good relationship. He calls me for legal advice for many of his ventures. I don't mind his party copying the manifesto and the policies of DRP. After all he is someone DRP created over the last 30 years. We are proud of it and I too am someone who wants to be him.

The Band:
On the rock-festival with an audience of over 500 children and adults his band were to perform tonight. When I entered I saw Gasim wearing a black T-Shirt and a blue jeans. Dr. Munavvar shirtless with bleached & torn levis jeans. Both were backstage doing their final practicing before the show begins.

"The Republicans" - the heaviest metal band ever to form in the Maldives. I could not wait to see Gaasim's performance. When the drummer rolled his power roll, Gaasim's head banging like it had no control. He was wearing a wig, make-up like "Kiss" on his face. The children watching the show banged their head to Gasim's. 360 degrees and more. Munavvar is shirtless. Shihab running up and down the stage.

I too played a bit of guitar in my young days. I also performed once during Valencia's "Happening" music shows in the eighties. I was a newscaster then. Under my blue shirt tonight I wore the black Slayer T-Shirt I bought from my last trip to Singapore. When Gasim signaled me to come and join the band for a jam session, I tore open my shirt and with my black Slayer Black T-shirt I came to the stage and did my power cord. "WE ARE IN HELL".

Road Mas is coming to Male'

2008-08-29T07:48:00.000+05:00

Yes. This month is called Roadmas for a reason. We the wave ryders's month. This month I will be riding not just my wave, but my brother's Good Night (GN 125) and my friend Kareem's Pulsar (which Gasim bought him in return of two votes)! Kareem took the offer but he says he'll vote Anni. It's gonna be a fun road month.

Two sales Garls Wanted! Salary RF3,500/-

2008-08-19T04:52:00.000+05:00

For a new shop selling assorted goods located near Galolhu Stadium.
If selected should be willing to work starting 1st September 2008.

Quality:
GCE O/L
Computer Certificate (Microsoft World & Office 2008)
Friendly
If possible spoken voice in the audible range (without the customers having to point their ears to your mouth).

Extra bonus:
Air Conditioned shop.
25" TV
Very good sound system in the shop for music lovers
A collection of Hindhee DVDs to watch movies.

Mobile Phones:
Shop policy does not allow using of mobile phones during working hours. It cuts productivity down and customers complain when they hear sales people saying 'irukolhakun ebagulhan... eey migulhaneeyeh... customeraku ebahuri... hmmm dhen baavanee'.

(The shop will open for Roadha mas. Now registration in trade. If no girls available we also take boys who use perfume, hair gel and facial cream)

brooms and boobs

2008-07-30T04:28:00.001+05:00

Twentieth time in these two days my buddy Fahmee and I have been to BML Atms located everywhere in Male'. We spend a considerable time on each occasion looking at others waiting before me, impatiently to check the bank balance. Everyone chooses option three from the 3rd screen and take a quick balance printout. Some people bring many cards. Probably of co-workers. All balances are closer to 0. Fahmee's balance is also RF 0.28 each of the times we checked.

We are waiting for the salary to be transfered. All the people are waiting and checking which ATM gets the money first. Last month I said BML near IGMH, Fakey (Fahmee's nick name) ATM near STO will get the salaries first. He won and I had to give him a coffee which he paid with the salary money he took. This time I am saying Olympus ATM. All our friends play this game. Which ATM gets the salary first. Very fun game for the end of the month. Can somebody make this a facebook game?

We are waiting till we get the salary to goto Ugulhey Baazaaru -- the best place in town. Though most have not got the salary yet they have been there once or twice so far. To get squeezed and to squeeze. I have not yet been there this year so far. But I am waiting to go when salary money of Fakey comes to the ATM. I remember last time we bought a lot of brooms and buckets. They are very useful.

My friend Farooq ordered one container from Bangkok for the market. But he could not pay the duty to it is stuck in customs.

I will write about the night market experience after I go.

SMS greetings are for lonely uptight old fashioned sissy loonies

2008-07-27T01:54:00.000+05:00

Today I received few sms-cards from my friends from my atoll and Azeez and Family who moved to Trivendrapur after renting his Male' wife's bedroom and toilet to a flock of Banglish.

Sms-cards were almost fashionable long before mobile phones (pre-paid one-way) in this country exceeded the population. But now my coffee mates think that sending sms-cards and e-cards and things are too sissy and out of style. Well, they say that only lonely people who has nothing better to do sends these. Well it seems that nowadays a lot of people are like that.

Specially on meaningless fake occasions like independence days. If you are one of those loony people and non of your friends actually remembers you, you are probably counting days for these kind of opportunities and spend few Rufiyaas on mass smses. And you are lucky if any one of them reply, except for another lonely bored person, or out of sympathy. And you wait for another occasion impatiently. So lonely.

Now check your phone and run through the people who sends you these numbers. These are really sad and lonely people.

And on this day I have just one message. Do not re-elect the dick.

Recipe for Fuh Gulha (Maldivian Fish Balls)

2008-07-21T04:55:00.000+05:00

Ingredients
For Masgandu (inside)
Smoked tuna (Valhowmas) or Canned fish
Scraped Coconut (Huni)
Sliced Onion
Lemon Juice
Salt
Ginger
Chilly
Turmeric (Reendhoo)

For Fuhgandu (outside)
Flour
Water
Salt

First mix the Masgandu. Don't be afraid dirty up your hands and taste.
Now make balls from the Masgandu. You can eat a few balls to remind yourself of your childhood days eating the bare Masgandu.

Now mix the Fuhgandu and make balls from them as well. Push your thumbs into these balls to make baskets and put the Masgandu balls into them. Slowly it round to bring the shape of a Gulha. Then fry until golden brown.

Serve with sugary black tea.

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Recipe Today by our party. The next episode will be brought to you by a different party. Our party is better than them because we have opened up the recipe of our top secret product The Fuh Gulha by Our Party (T.F.G by O.P).

Gasim Vs. Yaamin

2008-07-12T18:44:00.000+05:00

From the award wining directors of "In-laws, Family & Step-Family", "Ukulhuvalhu or November 3rd" and "Iliyaas for President" a sequel.

In the beginning of this new movie, young entrepreneur Yaamin owned a bunch of companies named STO, STELCO, MIFCO, Trade Ministry (and a lot more). Young Yaamin gets very rich profiting from these businesses that he himself owns.

Iliyaas (played by Gasim) is shown with a long beard banished to Singapore's International Plaza. Iliyaas was the previous owner of Yaamin's companies & a lot more. But Yaamin was a cleverer businessman. He legitimately bought shares from Iliyaas and slowly took over the whole empire (with few exceptions such as Villa).

The second part of the movie is set "15 years later". Now Yaamin has grown old. And Gaasim (the actor who played Iliyaas) now has a role which appears to be independent for himself. Gradually the director has removed the character from the actor. The change is seamless to the audience. The rest of the movie is a big fight between Iliyaas (now Gasim) & Yaamin. Yaamin spread rumors about budget deficit. Gaasim says he doesn't know the meaning of defecation.

Bargains. Threats. Gasim resigns from the film. Yaamin threats to direct another film. Director makes special effects, magic with a little use of patent-pending Golha force. All suspense. Love affairs, cutting ribbons, resignations, promotions & and playing musical chairs in the kitchen cabinet. This movie has it all. Guest starting Hill & Knowlton, Roysten Ellis and DJ FJ. Coming to cinemas and Directly to Brain (D2B) in August, September or October 2008 or 2010.

Reviewers are calling the director who has been filming this movie for over 30 years the best director of all time. These reviews are inserted into the movie to make the effect more true. One might think that these are staged reviews. But no no. The director of deception releases 'independent' reviews of the film on DhiTV, DhiFM, HaveeruNews, HFM and DhivehiObserver*. These are also part of the film. The audience are all applauding to all applaudable moves, crying to all sad moves, laughing to all the laughs.

Zoom out, and the movie ends. But wait. The audience is also filmed. They are in the movie. Audience moving out of the cinema is also part of the movie. The cinema is a set too. D2B is at work.

Notable Extras for this film include members of MDP for set decoration and playing double roles in favor of Gasim (Iliyaas), Yaamin or whoever gives them more movie-money (which is of no use outside).

*DhivehiObservers current shareholders include Yaamin (via LollyJ) & the founder Iliyaas (played by Gasim).

Evolution of pickup transport in Maldives. A humble appeal to show care.

2008-06-29T04:49:00.000+05:00

Strangest of the strange I have been seeing a very strange kind of pickup trucks these days. Sizes ranging from small to large. Each time I see these strange pickups I begin to wonder about the mechanics behind these advanced new heavy load vehicles. It is very useful for places like Fura Male'. With the credit crunch and the economic crisis globally and more noticeably locally these kinds of new vehicles are perhaps how the pickup trucks could best evolve.

With increased fuel prices the WaveRyders like me who fills up my Wave with five Rufiya of petrol each time just get me to go two rounds around Male' which is making us worry. The Wavers need to choose an alternative (with the same productivity as riding around Male'). Some like me might start to count the number of people passing by while I wait on top of my (borrowed) Wave in front of my house... well my boss's (or parent's?) house. Staying on the Wave in an awkward position playing with my phone (which I haven't recharged for few weeks). But I can still press the buttons. And take 0.3 Megapixel photos I will one day upload to a Flickr.

WaveRyders are less, the Taxi prices increase. What can the people do? Protest... nah... rather sit on the bike and play with the phone.. or sleep a bit longer... and do something to annoy the next person. Arrange a community shouting contest. Watch TV if possible forever.

Now back to the new pickup truck which has started to emerge when a certain group of people realized that the fuel or paying for the pickups is too expensive. They get a modified used pickup from a nearby country that can also do a lot more things. Their monthly installment price is very few Rupees or Dakaa. Cheap is good. These pickups are usually multi-owner based. Serve the owners, serve the friends, serve the neighbor same monthly installment.

Smaller versions have two wheels. Can carry two to four sacks of garbage bags (of the volume of a 50kg Hakuru Bastha each). The front can carry the volume of an empty Coast milk case full of garbage. Of cause when these filled with garbage are less heavy, but the pickup truck is a mechanical device it wouldn't complain if it becomes heavier. These breed of pickups just go to the instructed location and deliver them (mostly to the garbage dump).

Then there is the small version. This time with no wheels. The strangest of the strange I saw today the pickup crossing the zebra crossing when the green light for people were on! It was carrying a metal bed. Raised to the top of its two forklift arms. Obviously any onlooker would know that the forklift was overloaded and may collapse anytime. We just cracked a joke about it and we thought these are just mechanical vehicles that runs on the oldest technology of bio-fuel. The people we supposedly imitate used camels as pickups. Now we believe in evolution so we use what the bosses believe are animals from the neighboring nations for these kind of tasks. But they do have a passport, a name, a work permit, and sometimes a soul, a family, a father, a mother, a sister, children.

SAVE THEM! AND STOP ABUSING THEM. TREAT THEM AS THEY ARE OUR CHILDREN OUR PARENTS! THEM = US!

An accident near Alivaage, Male', Maldives tonight

2008-06-24T00:53:00.001+05:00

People were gathered near Alivaage. I thought Illabe (president's brother in-law) has done something again. He was banished (to Singapore) and house arrested in the 90s for attempting to overthrow the president internally influencing parliamentarians and cabinet members. Illabe himself held few Ministerial portfolios at that time including Defense Minister. When Gayyoom discovered the plan, state radio, TV and newspaper defamed him with allegations of corruption, sexual harassment and black magic. His brother Abbabe was also removed from the cabinet and until now is unable to get any solid post back. Illabe is powerful and is connected to the largest corporations of Maldives (via marriage links and others). Illabe (& his sister Natti & their mother) were able to black mail Gayyoom to win back a ministerial post (just one this time) and cleared all charges and erased the memory of that incident and the media statements from the peoples minds using rocket science. Audio tape and Sato case is another story magicians disappeared using blue magic.

Unfortunately people gathered near Alivaage tonight were not attending another performance by Illabe and his magicians. I heard from an onlooker that two cars collided. I did not stop. Just rode the Wave with my closest friend engaged in our never-ending conversation about society, the world, the universe and beyond.

Half and hour later we came back to the site. Most people were gone by then. A group of about 10 men of ages between 30 an 40 where around the area. I over head one saying... "...it was coming the wrong way... the boy was driving too fast...". A block away another group of men over 40 saying "... he was drunk... drugs would have been involved... police did not do anything... he will be out tomorrow hitting another innocent man...". another block away this time a group of middle aged women were gathered discussing "...his mother is married to her 3rd husband... his father is known to have extra-marital sex... his bother is illegitimate... his sister is a slut..." and so on.

We just rode our ride. Peacefully within ourself.

From behind a lorry last night riding around Male'

2008-06-17T01:36:00.000+05:00

42 people - assorted shapes and sizes but all in red

Felt 24 boobs in 2 hours (18 Burugaa boobs)

Poked by 17 dicks (all erect and hard)

My own dick got wanked 12 times (6 times by males)

Fingered 8 pussies 3 asses (1 male)

Got sucked by 3 (all burugaa girls)

Sucked 4 pussies and 1 dick

Kissed 54 lips in two hours

Sexed 2 girls (1 very fat)

All the while shouting Maldives Hop Hop Hop

And very happy for the teamwork and unity.

We are the champions.

"Golhabo's red team has won" said Maaburey

2008-06-15T02:44:00.000+05:00

Today he is wearing red underwear, red shorts, and a red jersey with another Man's name printed very large on the back. He colored his face with something that looks like our flag. For the past few days he has been carrying a flag with him. Riding his Wave look-alike motorcycle all around Male'. Singing songs like 'Footbolhain Mulhi Gaumah Faidhaa Hoadhaaney...' (whole country profiting from football). A song which the state owned TV Maldives (GolhaTV) has been playing over and over again. This songs makes Maaburey really feel that by winning in football on a tournament which six or seven of the world's lowest football ranking countries participated in can make his life better.

He's living in a 3 bedroom apartment with 15 family members and a maid. Each room with LCD TV and one room with one aircond. Maaburey's mother who has gone for two Hajjs in her life is waiting to to go to India for a major surgery when she gets the funding arranged.

Maaburey is a football. He drinks football juice he eats football. Maaburey plays Playstation football in his free time. Just like every other intelligent Maldivian. Maaburey is a football fan. Specially when it comes to supporting the national Team.

Maaburey is also a huge MDP supporter. But today there is no MDP or DRP. Everyone is united behind the number one. The goal keeper.

After watching a loud match on TV today Maaburey jumped up to the sky and said "Golhab's red team has won". It was a moment he felt one with number one. And everything started to flash in front of his eyes. After 29 years of waiting Golhabo's team has managed to win. And now Maaburey's shouting and running around on his Wave look-alike bike. All over male'. I asked him if he's drunk like the rest of the others.

We love our Golhabo's team. And will give a great welcome back to Golhabo and his team. And this will make Golhabo win the election too. If we want our team to win, keep the number one, the number one! The population likes to get drunk on Golhabo! Most still fall for Golhaa's traps. The rest of us just has to wait, another 5, 10, 30 or a 1000 years more.

Zero Degree Atoll's 2nd Album

2008-05-02T01:58:00.000+05:00

Their first album Dhoni was pure genius. I was in my early teens when I first listened to the tape of Dhoni. At that time it was too expensive for me to buy my own. But since I liked it so much my boss gave a tape to me as a gift. A white colored tape. With a nice picture of a Dhoni flying on the cover. All the things are written in English, not handwritten. It was one of a kind. From the cover to the music inside.

I was used to wonder-mark and pen hand written Haaburi and Dhohokobe tapes sold in audio shops of Male' who think that playing music the loudest makes them the biggest shop. Small one bedroom size shops with a large 15 story Velaanage size voice. Just like our band leader. A small man with a big mouth.

Now back to Zero Degree's 2nd Album. I'm now in my early thirties. Zero degree still has the same materials they produced when I was in my early teens. Close to 20 years and nothing new! How sad. The most creative musical act could not evolve. Why? When I last checked all the band members are still alive. They were playing to a teenage audience tonight at the Alimas carnival. But still the same stuff.

I am really sad. Can anyone answer why there was no 2nd Album? And will there ever be one?

Ifthah Ya Sim Sim and Sheik Afrasim

2008-04-24T03:34:00.001+05:00

Years of watching Ifthah Ya Sim Sim on TVM specially on the long mornings of fridays made my Arabic better than ever before. Watching them run and ride bicycles on the streets of Arab world taught me how to run and ride bicycles. Haazaa Kithaab, this is a blog. Some of my friends were very deep into this Ifthah Ya Sim Sim. They went to Mauhadh Dhiraasathul Islamiyya and passed each grade with Jayyed Jiddan reports. Masha Allah to all of them.

When TVM cut this show the younger generation were unable to get a nicer Arabic introduction. They were forced to leave to Pakistan and do Madhrasa Sim Sim where they leaned how to imitate riding of camels and horses. These are the people experiencing an identity crisis these days. You will see it very clearly from the fashion they adopt.

I want our children to watch Ifthah Ya Sim Sim and Sesame Street. I will tell our Kutti who runs a useless ministry this. It will close our religious divide instead of plugging in some AfraSim Sim.

mOscar awards 2008 (Maldives)

2008-04-19T07:51:00.000+05:00

Baftas, Oscars, Crystals and Moscas. In slightly less expensive cafes everyone is talking about awards. In the last 4 months this country has held 3 film festivals with 3 award ceremonies. Mollywood industry which produces less than 2 feature films on average a year holds an award ceremony every other month. About 150 people work in this industry who need constant reminding of how great their work is. According to industry sources each of these ceremonies costs about 10 times the budget of a typical Maldivian film. And 2 times the budget of the most expensive Dhivehi movie made in the past 10 years.

A year, 2 movies, 3 awards shows. Half a million Ruffiyaa for each of the shows. Note: this is excluding Hotel and transport charges.

The latest show was held at Dharubaaruge and the participants were invited to stay in Male' at Nalahiya Hotel for the ceremony. They were offered to stay in the lobby free of charge for 30 minutes (from 8:00 to 8:30pm). They can use free toilets and were served with Taza mineral water at this time. Taxis were washed and turned into limos by placing a sticker on the number plate and on top of the word "Taxi". Everyone was greeted well at Dharubaaruge which hosted the latest of the awards. Government owned newspaper Miadhu and lots of government related businesses sponsored the event. The actors danced with the sponsor's name boards at the end of the show. Sponsors were made very happy looking at their bodies move with the brand logos.

I am happy to have watched all 3 shows live on MTV.

Jumhooree Celebration

2008-03-31T19:58:00.000+05:00

All corners of Maldives are celebrating. A celebration which is self organized by all small and large communities. All most all junctions of the populated areas of Maldives is in festival mode. Dances, music, public speeches etc. All the mosques filled with believers thanking god with happiness. Like a huge eid extended over weeks. A fresh smile and a sense of ease and relaxation on everyone's face.

As a tourist I was looking at all these things kind of puzzled. Because my guide warned me that this country is officially in a "mourning" period and the flags are on half mast. Because their president passed away while serving his 29th year.

Maldivians to act on the remake of Muhamaduh Rasoolullah series

2008-03-27T01:40:00.003+05:00

Muhammadhah Rasoolullah is an old series. They have been showing re-runs for years. And the new google generation is not interested to watch the old style films anymore. So the great big king Fahudh of Arabiya has donated few millions from his trillion dollar empire to do a remake of the series.

The casting director was recently in Maldives and was very happy to find the full cast with all extras from this country. "They do not even need any more costumes or make-up" Al-Ghurai-Bin-Alaq said "we also were able to make a deal with musicians (percussion and natural sound based) and the greatest maldivian vocalist for the project." May Allah bless this country's alternative cultures.

Now the production directors are deciding whether to bring the camels to Maldives and shoot or to modernize the role of camels using Wave cycles (all models). But they have to think of a way to sacrifice them.

Two people walking near IGMH today

2008-03-23T01:56:00.000+05:00

Around 5:30pm near IGMH I waited on my Wave 100 for a friend. Golden light rays of the setting sun reflected off the gray pavements of Male' lighting up the dust from the ongoing traffic when my gaze focused on two elderly men in their late 40s walking towards me. They were engaged in a viscous conversation. One person was wearing a checkered gray and black short-sleeved shirt untucked and a dark brown trouser. The other a red t-shirt and a similar trouser. Their clothes looked reasonably worn out and desaturated possibly due to the quality of the materials, the detergent (or no detergent) the purity of water used for washing them and extended periods of exposure to bright sunlight. They were both engaged in each other deeply. From the few words I heard it seemed like a conversation about another person who lives with them.

They went past me I had my gazed locked on to them when the guy wearing the checkered shirt stopped in front of a house with a blue wooden door and cleared his nose with one swift motion of the thumb and index finger of his right hand. The mucus that came out was thrown near the blue door. The conversation continued with it's flow and the two people walked on.

My friend came out and we left off on the Wave like a wave.

Riding towards Majeedhi Magu tonight

2008-03-22T02:34:00.000+05:00

I had to slow down my Wave 100 on an average road of Male' leading to the central Majeedhi Magu. There were many Wave cycles parked on the right side parking zone at 20 to 50 degrees angle from the one stone pavements. On the other side along with Waves parked parallel to the road are pedestrians squeezing through between them and the ongoing traffic of Wave cycles, bigger cycles and taxi cars. The sports car look-alikes don't come into these roads because this economy is not what the drivers of these cars want to show themselves to. The road is crowded with very small houses of three floors on average. Each house appears unfinished, or not painted after Jumhoory 30 of 1998. Dusty and corroded but still with living people and pests inside. All houses are full. Some overflowing with people. People stay in front of the house wearing a 8080 Mundu (sarong), listening to AM Radio with an antenna or wearing a BodyGlove trousers (shirtless) talking on a Nokia 6300 perched on one of the parked Wave cycles that doesn't obviously belong to him. Or a teenage boy (with long sleeved shirt) holding a girl (wearing a midi and burugaa) in the shadows.

I had to slow down my Wave 100 because a taxi was slowing down just ahead of me. It finally stopped in front of a house almost the length of the taxi. The right door opened into the sitting room cum maids room of the house. Three ladies came out of the taxi. One wearing a baby blue Buruga with glittery silver stars on it. She had lipstick on her lips and a reasonable amount of red powder on her face. She looked the eldest (in her late 50s) of the three. Then came out the other two, probably two daughters of her in their early forties. The dickey of the taxi opened to find 3 large plastic shopping bags. 1 red. The other one yellow with "Bright Brothers" printed on it. They slowly took the bags, one filled with cheap plastic wear, one with some noodles packets and the other with make-up stuff. Three of them slowly went into the house making sure the door of the car is slowly closed to make space for them to enter the house. The door didn't close properly the first time so the taxi driver had to awkwardly put his right hand over his shoulder to close the back door by himself.

It was around 11:08pm tonight. Friday night shopping has become a custom for the people of Male' now.

Happy Birthday to Flickr, 25 square pixels of fame

2008-03-16T06:01:00.001+05:00

Flickr is a website for non-proffesional Maldivian snappers to spend time bonding and getting attention. Here are some testimonials from some of the addicted Maldivian flickr-graphers.

"Flickr can make anyone feel really happy on a gloomy day. Specially if you upload a bad photograph" == a newbie 25

"My life was full of downs. Nothing seemed to work out well for me. I am highly educated in Mathematics but I could not get any work done. So I joined the Flickr group. Now I'm superb. My mobile phone pictures has got number one on many hourly Flickr competitions. I FEEL GOOD" == a 38 year old

"Flickr is the place. It's so Fucking cool. Fuck.. oops can I say Fuck on the net?" == a cool dude 18

"For each Super comment I write. I get two Excellent comments and a smiley. I will never leave this place" == 22 year old son of a carpenter

"Some Maldives Flickr people are very helpful. They help me find nice crops.. and they help me understand a good ISO... and out of all they love me as I am" == a member of Unique Maldives Group

"I used to hate Flickr.... it looked so stupid... the way these people try to be pros with pro accounts... but now I love it. because flickr loves you. and we get free meetings every week.... now sponsored by major businesses of Maldives.." == a taxi driver turned semi-pro-photographer's helper

The party at Seahouse was very lovely. Although there was a small rumor that part of the funding raised for the event went to the pockets of some of the organizers, that was not a problem.

At the end we all knew that everyone will have their own 25 pixel squares of fame when the pictures appear on each others Flickr. We were all advised to quickly mark the face with 25 pixel squares and put a name. I just marked me on some of the Flickr users. I'm getting so much attention now.

Before tourists starting giving dollars to Maldives people, our fathers were all good fishermen who used net very well. we stayed alive by fishing and climbing on coconut trees and of course reproducing. The new generation of fishermen has a different kind of net. they don't work like the fathers but they surf. very fast speed very expensive. but the tourists pay for these. one of the fish that caught up on all these people's net is a fish called Flickr.

T.A.G.G.E.D!!!

2008-03-02T19:12:00.001+05:00

Finally I've been Tagged as well! Thanks all who tagged me.

A - Available?: Yeah baby,
B-Best friend: Jihattey and others
C-Cake or Pie?: Boakiba
D-Drink of choice: non-alcoholic vodka
E-Essential thing used everyday: Iloshifathi (very innovative broom)
F-Favourite colour: Purple
G-Gummi bears or worms: worms
H-Hometown: Paris, Hilton
I-Indulgence: What is the meaning of this?
J-January or February: April
K-Kids and names: Skyla (Gawd I love this name)
L-Life: is too short
M-Marriage date: When my boss says I am free
N-Number of siblings: Eight minus one :(
O-Oranges or apples: very rarely I get these. I'd prefer both
P-Phobias: fear of the world, and big shot people.
Q-Quote: Just do it!
R-Reason to smile: dream of getting a wave saikal
S-Season: salt and pepper
T-Tag three people: Nasheed (Kutti), Maldives Sex Stories, swytiepie
U-Unknown fact about me: I see dead people
V-Vegetable you do not like: I have to work very hard to get vegetables in Maldives
W-Worst habit: I don't smoke (very uncool in cafes)
X-x-rays you have had: never
Y-Your favorite food: roshi
Z-Zodiac: none

Experience of coming out from Shiyam's House in Maafannu, Male', Maldives

2008-03-01T03:07:00.000+05:00

At 12:30am I came out of Shiyam's house with my friend. Shiyam's house is in an alleyway inside a small lane (goalhi) in Maafannu. Shiyaam lives on the 2nd floor of the furthest house from the 4 houses in the alleyway. The alleyway was created when the 1000sq house of Shiyam's land owner's grandma was sliced into 4 pieces (excluding the area of the road) to divide among the very competitive siblings who were able to build 4 bread slice like towers on each piece of the land they inherited. Shiyam is just renting a room (with attached toilet) there.

As I came out from the Alleyway onto the road I heard two people speaking. Sounded like very serious conversation. But in a Hindish kind of foreign language. As the conversation went further the music of suspense was added. At that point I realized that it must be a movie. The sound was coming from a Store Room (Godown). A building made with metal roofing sheets covering the walls and the roofs. It gets really hot in the afternoons in these buildings. But traditionally these were made to store non-perishable goods by businesses and the government. But why would these commodities be watching a movie? I don't understand. There was a little window like opening to the outside. I saw two Kondu-Kendi (under shirts) and one blue men's briefs hung on a red nylon rope.

Then I heard the phone ringing. Sounded like it's coming from the movie due to the ringtone. I heard the voice of a person talking on the phone. And the voice came closer and closer to me. From the window I saw a human holding a Nokia phone which is sold for RF 650 from Dhiraagu (with 7 days warranty). He was speaking in a Hindish kind of language too. He seemed like a malnourished young adult from either Bangladesh or India.

And then I raced off on my friend's Honda Wave 100s.

Hassaney is getting married to Reyshma with small boobs

2008-02-06T18:34:00.000+05:00

A tiring week for me. A friend of a friend is planning to get married. His name is Hassaney.

Who is Hassaney:
Hassaney has a Honda Eliminator 250 Hp motor cycle with two engine silencers. He rides his motor cycle (Saiku) as fast as he can on the busiest highways of Male'. A lot of girls like his Saiku which is also nicknamed Devil. Hassaney chooses girls with large b(.)(.)bs to go for rides on his Devil. These girls keep their b(.)(.)bs firmly pressed against Hassaneys burakashi as Hassaney races all his adrenaline out of him. Girls hold him as tight as they can and the faster he races the tighter they hold on. Hassaney's Devil is really Kaamiyaabu. The Devil is one of the badi-est in Male'.

Who is Hassaney's wife to be:
Her name is Reyshma. She wears glasses. I used to see her going to school with a pile of books covering her almost non-existent b..bs. She never looks at others. Straight from her house to school. If at night accompanied by her brother. She also wears a buruga. She's a homely girl. Hassaney wants to make her his wife. Because Hassaney is sure that Reyshma will stay at home reading the latest story books of Nahla and watching the latest Nahla's films while Hassaney races on the Devil with b(.)(.)bs. And not surprisingly Reyshma has not yet have had the privilege to ride the Devil. (probably she'll never have).

The Room:
Hassaney lives with his extended family consisting of 3 couples and 5 children plus the grandma and grandpa (Hassaney's mom and dad). The house is not small but not big either. It's about 850 sq feet. Each of the married members of the family has somehow managed to squeeze a room of space into this 850sq feet. It's magical. Hassaney's going to be the 5th room in the house. A part of the kitchen and a potion from his brother's toilet was taken for Hassaney's room. Sitting room of the house is already taken for a previously wedded brother. Hassaney's room is in an awkward shape.

This year is Hassaney's year. Hassaney wants the best room for him and his Reyshma. A bedroom set is a must. Hassaney borrowed money from all his family, friends and friend's friends to buy the best bedroom set from Parkway Furniture (a Goldenlane shop). He has managed to ignore the payments for his Devil motorcycle for years.

I was involved in constructing the room for him. I was among the few who helped paint his room. Purple color with a brownish pattern. Paint is bought from A.H Brothers. Hassaney also bought a mini-bar fridge for his room. We are going to put the King size bed in his room tomorrow. Tonight Hassaney has to decided whether to alter the bed or move the dressing table to the toilet. The aircond people will come tomorrow as well.

And then comes the wedding party preparation! Hassaney is a lucky man.

code leaked from 2008 Maldives website

2008-01-29T23:34:00.000+05:00

</maumoon>

Get the mother fucking Golha out

2007-12-22T16:02:00.000+05:00

Today I'm very angry. Everywhere I look I see failure. From my part and from others. A failed fucking state. A failed system. The system of Golha. This sick old fuck Golha has been fucking us since I was born. Raping our children's future. We are just letting him slowly fuck all our mothers and fathers and children. What a fucked up fucking nation we are.

Golha is fucking us slowly and painfully. Tied our hands behind our body, dragging us down the street, red tape on our mouth and we cannot scream. We are drugged and injected with painkillers. Our minds numbed. Pain becomes pleasure. Continues raping our future. This sick fucking Golha.

Harder... Harder... we cried. we are fucking letting him dictate his exit path. Gave him all the fucking time he wants. So powerful and strong over us. Fucking so hard as if we have never been fucked up so hard. Let him fucking drain all what is left of us before he fucks himself. Get the Golha out. Out of our tight asses.

A very Happy News

2007-12-18T23:47:00.000+05:00

I was working really hard in the office this afternoon when suddenly my phone started vibrating. I checked my phone and it was my sis calling. I thought something big happened but on the other end she was sounding very happy. phew!! her happy tone calmed me alot :)

And we were having a very happy sisterly talk when she came up with this happy news. One of her very closest friend is living in Malaysia with her family. She has 2 little beautiful princess aged 4 and 2 (Lulu and Laiko). well, it seems that sister told her friend to check my bloggy.

And she checked...like others she wasn't xpecting much i guess. However, all of a sudden this bloggy of mine cast a magical spell on them. This has become one of the really interesting and cool blogs. And the most important part was Lulu and Laiko loved this bloggy and they didn't even let their mom to comment even :)

Anyways Rash ill try to make my blog more interesting for everyone.

And thanks sis it was a really happy news that relieved me from the tense mood i was having b4 u called. love you all :)

edited the names and reposted from here. Thank you. It's so inspiring.

Raif is very busy

2007-11-25T00:47:00.000+05:00

Rifle is his nick name. I'm talking about Raif. He's a busy man. Busiest man in Male'. Just like every other Malean. So busy with a quick temper. But he's a friend. I visited him today.

He was watching TV. Switching channels. He said 'Nothing good on this f**king TV, So many F**King channels, F**K Mesco and Cable net. What a monopoly". Just then his grandma said there's no onions in the kitchen for tomorrow.

Raif at once said 'Hello boys, we've got a job'. I went after him. He took out his high speed Wave motorcycle. I sat at the back. Woo Wooo, he raced. Honk Honk he tested his horn. He took off like a jet. I told him 'Raif, we don't need it so fast. There is 18 more hours before the onions were needed tomorrow.' But Raif did not listen. He says that if he doesn't go fast he'll not be there in time. I asked him what time? He did not reply.

And the traffic on Majeedi road was very slow. Raif made sure that he made good use of his loud horn. He gets so angry if even a kid crossing on the zebra crossing slowed him down. He goes 'Fucking B*lh*nthah'. If there is a taxi stopped to pick up an old person from the house a roads get blocked. Opportunity for people like Raif to use their horn. Peep Peep. They say that it's impossible to see Male' from NASA's space station. But they hear the sound of the horns of Wave cycles from up there.

Raif thinks that places in Male' are so far away. So he needs to speed up as much as possible to save time on transportation. Honks help to clear the paths for him. His house is near Central Hotel. He bought onions from the new Hyper Market in Male' Agora (just one block away). His cycle adventure is something that makes him feel busy in this town.

When Raif brought the onions home his wife was so happy. The End.

MDP's presidential candidate

2007-11-19T06:02:00.000+05:00

Nowadays the hottest coffee story of Male' and in UK is who's the presidential candidate from MDP. MDP has kept it's candidate really secretive. Their argument is if they reveal the candidate too soon the government may copy it and present the same candidate as theirs. This goes to all their other policies as well. We people are to suffer. They say that they have better education plans, health care schemes, transport plans. But they do not want others to know.

It is like my friend Jabir from my island. He knows how to build rockets that can go back in time. But he do not want to build it because he thinks that others may copy.

Anyway many MDP people are not very happy about presenting Munavvaru and Zaki as the candidate. Because they both once were the most corrupt ministers of the current regime. People do not want to reward corruption and injustice by making them the next presidents.

Rumours say that MDP may support Dr. Hassan Saeed. But for me I am with Anni. He has said that he does not want to become the president. But he has done more work to reform than any one else. And he has a very presidential height.

Don't celebrate Maldives Republic Day (Nov 11.) Unless you support the dictator.

2007-11-10T21:04:00.000+05:00

For 29 years. Same president. Illegally with a gun in his pocket he came to power on Nov 11 1978.

This is a very stable country. This is Maldives. White beaches. Blue skies. Green coconut palms. And one president. Very good for economy. No parties in the parliament. Foreign investors are welcome to invest. 50% goes to president and his family and cronies.

29 years has made him the richest person on earth. Along with Bhutan's king and some Arab Amirs Gayyoom is not listed on Forbes richest people because he's a ruler (dicktator) of a country.

Happy Birthday, Dick.

Riyaz is Sad. Because his skin is dark.

2007-11-06T18:40:00.000+05:00

This is about my good friend Riyaz 33 years old. (Not the real name)

Riyaz has been a good friend of mine since grade 7. He has very beautiful skin. Very dark very manly. The kind of skin super models of America dies to get. But Riyaz is not happy. He is under a lot of pressure. Pressure began the day he was born. The first question his mother asked the Foolhumaa (mid-wife) was "Is he fair or dark?". Not that his parents loved him any less for being a dark skinned boy. Racism in that level is not considered as racism in this country. Day after day as Riyaz grew older different comments come to him regarding his skin color. Riyaz likes to swim. But his uncles and aunties would comment "If you go to the sea you will get dark". He likes fishing. But just like most in his generation he is not going fishing because the sun makes his skin too dark. And the comments he gets get worse.

When we were in grade 9 together Riyaz started to walk a bit different. When I asked why he explained. He was only walking in shades. He rides his bicycle faster in the sunny part and slower in the shade. Because there is a pressure around him which made an inner voice of him to speak to him "Riyattey, be fair. Bituns like fair boys. Beautiful is fair."

It is not just the pressure from within his family. These skin color comments come as very innocent ones mostly as jokes. These are not just for guys. It's worse for girls. Rarely a female Maldivian escapes the trap of putting 'Fair and Lovely' on their skin. The advertisers and the film industry does a good job on promoting these kind of ideas. (Shah Rukh promoting skin paling cream). Some girls I see on the street put so much white powder on their face that they look like dead ghosts. Some make-up on dhivehi film actresses make them look worse. But they had to do something. Because there is a unwritten social law here. "Dark skin is dirt". Black is not beautiful. It does not come as racism. It has nothing to do with race in this case. Racism also exists. But this skin color thing is beyond that. Its roots go beyond the Indian cast system influence or the barbaric British colonization of Maldives.

Now Riyaz has bought something called 'Fair and Handsome'. It's really expensive. But he feels that he's getting fairer now. Though he is married with three kids now he is still not happy about his skin color. But I have told him that even if he puts all the cream in the world his skin will be dark. And if it's ugly. I'm sorry. For me dark is beautiful.

Ministry of Maumoonuge Heesi and Culture

2007-11-01T02:30:00.001+05:00

Today on the news we heard a lot of changes to the government. Apparently the proposed named for the information ministry was selected from a public contest. People submitted many names. Minister Rasheed's favorite did not pass. But the 2nd best name specially designed for Rasheed himself by Rasheed himself was selected.

We all wonder what would happen if the minister is changed. Or is he planning to stay as the minister for the next 100 years? But names of ministries change very quick here. It may not even last 1 month. And with the change hopefully Rasheed will stop defending the dictator. He's a good man after all. With a very presidential walk.

Male' Jihad living on 2.5th floor with a cupboard bedroom

2007-10-28T13:56:00.000+05:00

Surprise Surprise! Today I was at Juway's Cafe and I met my friend Jihad (Jihattey) who is a assistant to the junior accountant grade B in a big company in Male'. Jihattey was very happy and said he's married and now living in his own apartment. Jihattey invited me to his apartment to meet his wife.

Jihattey's Bajaj scooter was very quick to take us to his apartment in Kuda Henveiru. It was a house I used to go. But from the outside it looked a little taller. We went in. The house would have been no bigger than a typical Boakosha Kada (hair saloon) in Male'. About 12ft by 12ft.

The downstairs is the saloon. The hair artist with posters of Tamil film stars design the Maldivians hair to look cool. The first floor was used by the family of the house. We climbed to there on a ladder. The family of 8 lives there with some of their in-laws. Then comes Jihattey's floor. Another ladder we climbed up.

First thing i noticed is that the floor height is a bit low. It ' look odd to my friend Jihattey because Jihattey and Maumoon are just about the same height. But Jihattey's wife who introduced herself to me as Zulfa lives there a bit bended over. Zulfa says she's very happy with Jihattey and to my surprise she invited me to a surprise party she's planning to have there tonight. Zulfa is very busy preparing cakes and things.

I got more surpized with Jihattey when he showed me their maid who came out of a cupboard. Their maid lives in the cupboard. Jihattey says the maid makes things easy for Zulfa and the maid is from Bangladesh.

Now Jihattey is saving to buy an air-corn and a sports car to make Zulfa happy.

What is the coolest cafe in Male'?

2007-10-24T02:32:00.000+05:00

Hello friends in the blogs. I have returned from my island. Good news is my boss has increased my salary.

WOW!

Now I have got more money to spend than I usually have. What is a useful thing to do? Here are the options I have:

Save the money at a bank
Send the money to my family in the island
Save the money and buy a huge LCD TV and a VCD player
or I've got a better idea!

Have coffee with friends in cool cafes. So far I have gone to coffee only very few times and always it's someone else who pays for my coffee. I go to Hotaas a lot. I go there with friends from the island. I eat. Food is good. We say a few fun jokes to the waiters. Everyone is so peaceful and down to earth in the Hotaas. But day by day my friends are not coming to Hotaas with me. They think Hotaas are not cool.

So since last week I've been going to cafes! People are so cool. Everyone is talking about big things. Resorts. Cars and Big shops. Waiters wear very nice uniforms. No Food. But coffee.

Now I know that people calls coffee Lavaza. I think it's Coffee in Australian language. I go and order "One Lavaza Milk". And they bring a bottle of water and some Dhufaa saamanu (nuts) along with it. And the cost, I end up paying more than I would have if I were to eat a whole meal at a non-cool hotaa. But I think it's worth it. Though the cafe experience is so much more expensive I love to be part of the cool circle. Now I need to buy some hair gel. They say the girls will smile at me if I put it.

Can anyone recommend a good cafe? What is the coolest cafe in male'? and which table should I choose?

List of things to take to Island for Roadha Mas

2007-08-21T20:47:00.000+05:00

The great and blessed Roadha Mas is on it's way to Maldives. For this Roadha Mas my boss is giving me holiday to go to my island. My family is not in the island.8 remaining members of my family lives in a half bedroom roof in Male'. When I go to my island I will be alone. but some of my friends are there. My bro said that our Theyo Undhun still works. I am making a list of stuff to take to my island. my friend Zareer (zarre) will come in his pickup to buy these.

The List
2 case Felivaru Fish cans (becoze people dont like fishing in island now, specially in roadha mas)
2 case Mamee Noodulis (one for breakfast one for haaru)
1 case kinley water (island water is too very sick)
1 bottle of Saafu Theyo (for the cooker)
5 DSI slippers (one for each friday and one for eid. they get lost in mosque)
1 bottle of Kaashi Theyo (for cooking and hair)
1 ipod mini (borrowing from Azeem to show off to island people)

Yaameen and MDP against the Universe

2007-08-20T18:51:00.000+05:00

My friend Gasimtey called me on my new Sonee Erection mobile phone Saturday afternoon to go and vote. All I've been hearing these days is Barulamaanee and Siyasee nizaams. My friend Jameel has even applied for a job as a Lecturer for Nizaams in Oksford School in London UK. His p.h.d comes from going to Party meetings, listening TVM, Radio and from Haveeru debate.

Not too long ago MDP was advocating “Riyaasee Nizaam while eating Bondi Bai behind a Tetrahead stone donated by Japan Aid. Recently MDP switched their views and started campaigning against Riyasee Nizaam. MDP's education materials has focused mainly on associating the Dictator Gayyoom (Golhabo) to the Riyasee Nizaam.

“In any system the people in power can do what ever they want. A Barulamanee system with a misleading MDP can as well create as much poverty and corruption as a Dictatorship of a Riyaasee DRP” said Saeed.

MDP has spend a lot of effort and money on promoting a system using disinformation and unrelated content. Jameel and Rasheed (on his blog) anonymously suggested that Yameen is behind this. When the fight between Ilyas (Gasim) and Yameen got stronger Gayyoom offered Yameen a key to a secret treasure which MR. Greedy could not refuse. He left the cabinet and took the key. It was Yameen who is behind MDP to turn MDP's support against Riyasee system. Most of the money for the Barulamaany campaigning was from Yameen himself (The People). Yameen's political association named Peoples Association (named after those he has taken everything from) is the only association that openly supported a Barulamaanee system. Adhaalathu, IDP and (Ilyas) Ibra's party are slaves of Gayyoom and cronies. MDP wanted to take the advantage of the situation from Yameen. MDP is formed to aid (to get innocent people involved in) fights between larger powers. These fights are between large entities in Maldives who is keeping Gayyom in power, such as Ilyas, Gasim, Yameen, Koli etc. It is the people who are actually suffering. People like my friend Gasimtey and Abdul Razzag.

I'm posting this from my new Sonee Erection phone. It is a huge phone. I like to keep it on the table when I go and have coffee with my friend Gasimtey.

I Am A Disco Dancer

2007-07-01T03:38:00.000+05:00

"Disco Dancer" is the first film I ever watched. It was the only film I was able to watch until Rasheed was banished to our island in late eighties. Rasheed brought many films with him and a TV and a VCP (Video Cassette Player). VCDs and DVDs was not invented in Maldives those days. When Dr. Razee's family visited our island for a holiday they brought Disco Dancer film. We watched it through the window of the house they were staying in. They watched it every night. And I watched it every night. First few days outside. And then they knew that we were watching it so they let us in to the fenda to watch. By the time they left the island I have learned some Hindi and on top of that I became a Disco Dancer.

Me, Kaasim, Juneydhey and Rishfa were very young. We tried to dance like Mithun every day. We held a competition. Zubeyru was able to play the boduberu with Disco Dancer beats. I with my Mundu on top of my head dance with my not so long legs throwing to air like Mithun Chakarubothy. I won the competition. After that for few years they called me Disco Dancer (nickname Disco Dancer-tey). Kaasim was the runner up.

When growing up in my island Mithun's courage and dance ability was an inspiration to me live my life. And look at me now. I have DJed several parties we held in our kitchen while washing up after dinner. So I'm officially a DJ now. One day I hope to release an Album interneytionaly first.

Raajtey and Meenaxi

2007-06-22T03:40:00.000+05:00

Raajendhar Kumar is the name of the new person my boss brought to our house. He is from India. He is very strong and hardworking. He speaks Hindhee but not as fluent as me. I learned Hindhee from Amitab Bacchan and Jaya Prada. He will take over some of the work I do at home. I showed him how to Valhudhiya hikka today. He was very amazed to see how shallow our well was. He says that in India the wells he Valhudhiya hikka was over one Kilo Meter per hour deep.

His friends in India call him Raaj. We call him Raajtey. He's a very friendly guy. He is married. He showed me a picture of him with his wife. Her name is Meenaxi. They looked very happy together. Raajtey said that he is a prince from his village. And the first person to get out of India. He said the whole village contributed the money to pay for the agent.

He stayed in Seedhee's house first in Male'. Raajtey said Seedhee is a good man. Raajtey had to do all the things in that house. Everything Seedhee says and everything Seedhee's two wives say, everything Seedhee's 6 children and their husbands, wives and children say. And also everything their friends say and everything the Dhivehi servant of that house say.

So Raajtey was exhausted. And one day Raajtey left the house. And started working much less for much more money for a construction group. Then all sort of problems were caused by Seedhee's children. Raajtey was almost deported forever. All the money of his poor village people were going to go wasted. They expected something back from their prince. My boss saw Raajtey's sufferings and with his connections he brought Raajtey to our house. My boss is trying to send Raajtey to a haassa class to teach him English and Maths. But he has found no place willing to admit a Raajtey yet.

I like Raajtey. He's younger than me. He's 22 years old.

Birth of Maldives Public Transport Company (MPTC)

2007-06-10T15:55:00.000+05:00

All my friends from my island likes to think that our island the biggest city in the world. Because if we call a taxi to go from Mudhimbe's house to the mosque the taxi would never come. One time Mudhimbe waited for the taxi for two months. But it never came. He lost faith in taxis and thought up of a plan for a bus system.

His plan was to have two bus stops. One in front of his house. One in front of the mosque. He proposed his plan on a voshifilla to Katheeb who changed the plan a bit. One stop in front of Katheeb's house another in front of Rashu office. Then came the atoll chief. He said 'What a brilliant idea!'. He promised to take the voshifila to Male' but with a little change. One in front of Atollge and another in front of Dhiyana's house. (Dhiyana is the young female secretary for atoll chief)

In Male' transport minister saw the plan and changed it a little and proposed it to president. One near his first wife's house and another near her boyfriend's. President saw the plan and approved it with a little change. One stop near the kitchen of the palace another near presidential bedroom.

Paper 3/1987: Dichotomy of manifestations raised on appropriating Fatloon in place of Mundu among small island men: An indepth analysis.

2007-06-06T01:56:00.000+05:00

By My Mother.

Dhohokko (1985) in his unpublished paper writes "when a country is westernized, men will wear trousers". Dhohokko is one of the leading cultural pseudo-anthropologists from United Kashidhoo (UK). His patent pending “cultural litmus configuration” tests revealed that Mundu is the only covering necessary for the small island nation men.

On the contrary Dr. Rakisbondu (2015) said that ideas like Dhohokko’s are just too old. Younger homosapiens of small islands are wired with 200 Kilobytes per second of MTV and Internet. Dr. Rakisbondu is an advocate of Jeans for men. His research in University of Menchester United shows that wearing Jeans strengthens “Shavhiyani” chromosome of the small island men. Dr. Dr. Latheefa who is holding a double Ph.D writes on her blog that “Riveted jeans can cause social disharmony leading to socioeconomic congressional dispologamy.” Dr. Dr. Latheefa is an advocate of round necked frocks for the countries ‘xy’ chromosomed hummus erectus.

Ibrhahim Dhee Dhee working as an assistant umbrella in the MET office said that Dr. Dr. Latheefa’s papers are not understandable. “They have a tone of very Doctorness. But it is full of misinformation and logical fallacy”. Then he said “a dichotomy is what we seek and dichotomy is what we get” referring to a dark object which looks like a burned thelli babukeyo. “Although Dr. Dr. Latheefa wears Mundu anything she blubbers is considered sinister” (Bus Driver Rasheed 2000).

(Only very educated people comment will be accepted for this post)

Taking Garu from Garudhiya

2007-06-02T21:51:00.000+05:00

Today I was cooking Garudhiya for my boss's return from his trip to some foreign countries. I spend over an hour taking Garu from the Garudhiya theli. It is so meditating and very deep. I love taking Garu. It is really something everyone has to do. I enjoy it soooo much.

Rasheed announces he was having blogus coitus with Simos (XXXX rated)

2007-06-01T19:43:00.000+05:00

Rasheed is using Simos as a trojan horse to enter into the Maldives blgosphere. This was announced through his "unofficial" blog which he uses as a backdoor to official issues. This backdoor was opened up in a surgery he had at IGMH which was later expanded in Apollo Hotel in Sri Lanka. Rasheed has described his blogus coitus relations with Simos in sickening almost graphic detail in an attempt to deny any relations with Mr. Hill. His mistress Simos is too naive and finding it hard to believe that Rasheed is already married to Mr.Hill. He wants to further maintain their s&m relationship and has openly declared in capital letters "I LOVE YOU".

TVM NEWS: Rasheed kidnapped in chowkit massage parlor

2007-06-01T03:40:00.000+05:00

I don't want to question credibility of TVM (soon coming to an internet near you). But just as my Adhalath party buddy was watching porno from Italian channels when I switched the channel to TVM I heard this sad story. "Rasheed kidnapped in chowkit massage parlor". How sad. He was a good man. He's trying to claim opening of the internet (which he cannot close like other things) without cutting the ribbon. He thinks that he is the step father of internet and the mother in-law of blogging and the illegitimate sister of flickr. To make everyone happy here's a lawyer joke taken from his internet.

There are no honest lawyers:
A lawyer named Mr. Rasheed was shopping for a Mahaanagaa. After he had made his selection, the engraver Hameed asked him what inscription he would like on it.

"Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded Rasheed.

"Sorry, but I can't do that," replied Hameed. "In this island, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put `here lies an honest lawyer'."

"But that won't let people know who it is!" protested Rasheed.

"Sure it will," retorted Hameed. "People will read it and exclaim, "That's impossible!"

NEW MANDATE FOR THE BLOGOSPHERE MEETING

2007-05-31T04:34:00.000+05:00

I have been reading about the Maldivians blogosphere meeting. Blogosphere has made people like me to take time out of our day to day life and write a little bit on. I sometimes go out to by two kilos of lemon for my boss and jump into a cyber to write a post. Flickr users are already sold out to unrealistic dreams. Only a few 'friends' will benifit from it. Rest will go down with it.

Now a person from Ekuveringe forum who is already linked with ministries is hosting the maldives blogosphere meeting which promotes agendas of the corrupt dictatorship. I know that a lot of bloggers are amused about the meeting up. The public relation firm is aiming at targeting bloggers now because organizations like Lawyers With No Borders watch the blogsphere. I was prisoned for not starting a letter with praise to Gayyom. This was just a love letter I sent to one of my old girlfriends. Did you magically forget all the news papers that were silenced. Look at all the writers tortured in prison.

Rasheed is reaching out to you as a friend in 'informal' conditions. And for generations we are all lead to believe that if we have good connections on higher levels we can do anything. But don't get trapped in it. It's just an illusion. Like the Air Ports in our atolls, like the Bridges between our islands, like the jetties in our islands, like the Ports in Hanimaadhoo and other dhoos. Like the FPID project. They are all very nice dreams. Dhoonidhoo Torture centure is real for sure. Think of all the killings. Secretive and non. And the funny thing is people still fall for it. Rebel and disturb them. Take advantage of them, without letting them take advantage of you, by letting them favor some friends of them for your control.

NEW MANDATE FOR THE BLOGOSPHERE MEETING:

1. If any one giving a speech in the meeting praise any defender of the Dictator. Boo him and tell him that he's an "ass kisser".
2. Rebel. but don't forget to eat all the food. Also have a food fight.
3. Get in to the depth of people who is funding the event. Find out their hidden agenda.
4. Take all your friends with you listed on myspace, mvblogs, blogger or Identity card unit. Even better if listed on dhoonidhoo shopping list.
5. Dont forget the tortures our writers have gone through. Bring that up.

Remember you are fighting for your freedom to blog, dont let them take it away from you.

See you all at Salsa.

Warning: Flickr Pro users are not professional photographers!

2007-05-30T01:00:00.000+05:00

Today I was cutting fish, and I thought, ah! I should get a flickr account. Then I called Hassanbe and asked him if it was a good idea. He laughed and said to me that I should rather become a lawyer. He thought everyone writing on blogspot is a lawyer with lawyeristic qualifications. Then I looked up and the gecko said 'cho cho cho', that means it's true. I just buried my dream to become a flickrerpher. Until I saw Jinattey taking pictures of the sun with his mobile phone in different angles. He said I'm a pro now. Some old man from English land has bought him a flickr pro account thinking that he was a exotic island girl. He was very happy, the old guy wrote a testimonial on his flickr. It sounded pervetish.. but it was ok for Jinattey, who actually never reads these. He writes and receives very "excellent" comments on his flickr.

Overnight he has become a professional. It was that easy. My friend's friend went to America to study photography. I asked him if he has a flickr. He said no. I thought studying in America had not made him a professional. Then I thought ok, how come there are so many pro flickrs people in our island? The answer is very simple. "anyone who can click can be a pro" said Riyaazey. Information minister Rasheed has promised them multi million dollar photography options. I'm a lawyer now. I can blog.

For the naked eye of me, it is really beautiful all the photos they take. Specially those who are on explore, everyone is on explore btw. Flickr is very friendly that way. We all win. My friend's friend is jobless now, all his effort wasted. But we have another breed of photographers. Just like what happens in the government. Anyone with any kind of education or training is side-lined...

Zaki and the Jinni 1/101

2007-05-24T20:51:00.000+05:00

Happily King Gayoom lived in the jungle with his family. One day along came a boy from the House of Chains. His name is Zaki. He grew up to become an ambassador of King Gayoom. He delivers the King's messages. One day Zaki mounted his horse and journeyed to a neighbouring country with a letter from the king. Halfway Zaki stopped over in luxury. He ate some grapes, dates and drank his usual. But he threw the seed of his date to an alleyway outside. To his suprise he was stunned a great big enormous Jinni. The Jinni was very furious and threatened to kill Zaki, claiming that Zaki had killed the Jinni's son with the seed of the date. Zaki said he never meant to kill anyone. Eating dates (including champa, universal and endheyri brand) during the king's missions allowed him build 10 story buildings, purchase houses from neighbouring countries and 'earn' shares from large resorts during the time everyone else was in an economic crisis. But the Jinni didn't care, and he raised his sword up to kill Zaki.

Zaki closed his eyes and started muttering some last words... "Oh my great Jinni, I have a family of few wives, girlfriends and kids here and there, and I owe many people money, please let me finish what I have to do in this world and come back to you on the first day of the next year, and I promise that I will come; by all the Gods you and I believe in".

The Jinni let Zaki go back home to finish his deals. Zaki started to repent and sort things out. But time ran out before he could finish. On the 1st day of the next year, Zaki showered, put on his death clothes and left on his horse to the Jinni alleyway, waiting for his death. While he was waiting came a doctor with a cow. A doctor Munnavvar. When he asked Zaki why he was so frightened and why he was waiting in a Jinni alley, Zaki explained his story. And then Munnavvar said he will also wait with Zaki.

Suddenly the Jinni came with his sword and as he was about to take revenge for the death of his son, Munnavvar spoke out, and said "Shall I tell you about my cow, before you kill Zaki." The jinni was anxious to listen to the story of Munnavvar's cow. Munnavvar said, "she was my wife. I married her 20 years ago. She couldn't bear children. Then I married a slave girl with whom I have got a lovely daughter, who was supposedly studying in English Clouds but currently in Malay Clouds fully funded by Universal Education System."

End of Part One of One hundred and One.

Behind Minister Kutti's blog writing desk is MR Hill

2007-05-23T13:38:00.000+05:00

Today I met Kutti Nasheed. He's a good friend of my boss. Kutti visits our house regularly. I bring juice to him. I asked him about his blog. He said "What did you say? My clog?" He was not sure what a blog is. Then he said: "aah.. that.. Mr. Hill and Mr. Knwolton... They said something like that..., they also took a long interview of me... I had to talk about my fistula, and medula obligada. They call me every day... I was just hoping that they were doing some kind of a survey for Golhaa, or I was hoping to get a job from UK..."

Which made me certain that Kutti's blog is the last desperate PR stunt by the failing H&K in the Maldives. "They are not doing anything as we guide them.. " said MR. Knowlton furiously.

Orgy at Islamic Centre

2007-05-14T06:02:00.000+05:00

It was 9pm in one of the darkest night of June 2005. Phone rang inside the bedroom. The bedroom of Gayyoom. He whispered into the phone. Slowly he went to the bathroom and washed his face. Nashreena woke up, half dazed, and asked "who was it on the phone?". Gayyoom answered "It was Adam Zahir... We are having an emergency cabinet meeting, I'm leaving now". Nashreena replied "with your pyjamas?". Gayyoom said "don't have enough time to change..."

Gayyoom rushed outside from the backdoor. No one noticed him since he was not dressed as usual. He walked to the Islamic Centre and went towards the conference room. As he opened the door he heard the sounds. The sounds he hears on every occasion like this. It was sexy electronic music. And he was greeted by Adam and the gang. "man, you are late, we started without you". Gayyoom has never been late for any of these 'emergency cabinet meetings'. Gayyoom said, "Natti started asking all sorts of questions, so i had to distract her".

Gayyoom's pyjamas were soon removed by two naked girls. Gayyoom is one of the most vigorous members of these orgies they have. Gayyoom started his regular welcome dance. People describe the moves as retro seventies style twisting combined with Michael Jacksonic brake dancing with a hint of arabic belly dancing flavour. This is the center of the show. In one corner a drunk Fathulla was wrapped up in a set of naked teenage girls. There was Gasim, Ibrahim hussein Zaki and Munavar on one side naked in a drinking contest. Anni was naked holding his yellow underwear up as high as he can. The underwear has the words "Get up! Stand up!". Soon the whole conference room is filled with smoke from the pot Adam has brought for everyone. And the sounds of electronic music is well in sync with the mood in the room. Though it was the first time Dr. Shaheed was allowed to this special cabinet meeting, he was not too unfamiliar with the procedure... so many naked girls, so beautiful. Ilyas arranges an unlimited supply.

In this erotic dreamlike scenario Gayyoom was able to notice the absence of his old friend Zahir Hussain tonight. But it was not a big deal. They continued enjoying the night until they heard the calling for Fathis namaadh. At which time DJ Headmaster Umar Zahir stopped the music and ordered everyone to get ready to go. Blending in with the pious people going out from the namaadh, the members of the cabinet meeting slowly walked out home. This time Gayyoom was sure that he saw Zahir leaving out of his house. But he was cool with it, he was aware about the deal with Zahir and Nasreena. And Natti was aware of what these 'special cabinet meetings' really are.

This is a summary of a scene from a fictional film. Any similarities to any person or an event in real is purely coincidental.

Theory of underwater Endheri growing on Villa in the sky

2007-05-09T00:23:00.000+05:00

To prove his loyalty to the family of the First Lady of Maldives (Endheri), he had to do more than just cleaning fish and preparing snacks for their brunch break. During the 28 years the current president has been in power and more, the Endheri family has been draining money from the people of Maldives in more than just taking different kinds of bribes from businesses such as Universal Enterprises.

Gasim is the most loyal servant the family has ever had. Gasim runs the businesses of Endheri family under his own name. Endheri family needed clean people to roll their corrupt businesses in Maldives without being too suspicious. Gasim is one of the people they use. Gasim is able to deceive the majority of poor Maldivians by contributing a very small portion of what they have embezzled to the community in more forms than just sending few people a month to a house in India for cheap medical treatments. Gasim's Endheri businesses fund high class education and medical treatment for family members of key government officers.

Gasim proves money can buy anything
Gasim is currently the vice president of Gayyoom's DRP, and Gasim is the highest open financial contributor to opposition MDP. He has also financially contributed to individual MDP parliament members, MDP aligned news websites such as his adviser Sappe's Dhivehi Observer and Minivan News. His financial contributions revived MDP aligned Adduvas Magazine, his associated companies advertise on Minivan Daily and other MDP aligned media. A lot of parliament members or their family either works for Gasim's businesses or have associated businesses with him.

He claims to be the richest Maldivian, he's the finance minister of Maldives and recently he was (s)elected as the president of the people's Majlis. Endheri family is smiling now. Their puppet is still the most loyal servant they got. And he has managed to buy both major political parties of Maldives.

Jennifer Latheef protesting on world press freedom day

2007-05-03T16:03:00.000+05:00

Jennifer Latheef (Jenny) has gone through transformations in more ways than we can keep track of. Today she can be a photographer for Minivan, tomorrow she's working for NASA (maldives branch). But you will never know what she was doing yesterday - for safety reasons.

(photo by: Jeniffer Latheef)

Special agent Jethro Gibbs is on his way to the Maldives.

2007-04-19T23:12:00.000+05:00

The most reliable news source of Maldives, Factmaldives (owned and operated by Maldives Police Services, Strategic Communication Unit of President's office, the family and in-laws of Presidential Palace) is reporting that the government of Maldives has asked United States Navy to aid an ongoing murder investigation. Jethro and his team will be arriving in Male' airport sometime tonight. They will be escorted to Bandos Resort where they will conduct the investigation.

Police also handed over the script with details of how the story will get unfolded in the next few days. Two British people MR.Hill and Mr.Knowton co-wrote the script with TVM. Part of the script includes reconstructing the past by creating and purchasing people and documents from the past.

"This will be the most creative case we've ever solved" said Agent Gibbs on a published phone interview. Due to public demand Mossad Liaison Ziva will be replaced on this case by Skeikh Rasheed. Forensic specialist Abby and medical examiner Ducky are currently in Sri Lanka waiting to perform the most incredible autopsy of their lifetime. They were not allowed into the Maldives due to the large collection of statues Abby took with her.

Happy NEW YEAR from Laamu Atoll

2007-01-04T06:33:00.000+05:00

Tomorrow we will celebrate the new year. January 1st for Laamu Atoll. I will go back to Male' next week and try to update more with a faster connection. I hope you see this in time.

Eid Accident at Laamu Atoll

2007-01-03T06:23:00.000+05:00

Today I finished installing internet to my friend's pc. I'm writing my Eid Mubarik at 29th December 2006. This internet is very slowwww. I can't write more now. I hope you see this post.

Please help Sappe!

2006-12-21T05:02:00.000+05:00

After my post (see here) MDP has cut funding to Sappe of Dhivehi Observer (internet tabloid). Golhabo (Gayyoom) has also stopped Skyping him because nephew Yaamin has hijacked the submarine cable. All this is making Sappe very poor. He has filed to receive unemployment benefits from British Government but this process takes a lot longer than he expected. So by far he is doing the best he can to earn money by adverting on his website. He also anticipates to become the lucky winner of the e-lottery very soon to overcome filing for bankruptcy.

HOW YOU CAN HELP!
Go and click on the google advertising on the right side of his website (the last desperate attempt). It wont cost you anything and if Sappe gets some good click throughs you could save a 'nation', an imagination.

Over weight on Dash 8

2006-12-16T07:14:00.000+05:00

Today I got an invitation to go to Laamu atoll for Eid break to install the Internet to a computer of a friend. I will be going in the new Dash 8 of our country's national airline. Dash 8s are quite small compared to air lines of other small countries. We had a big Air Maldives before which is used by Maldivian students studying in Malaysia for going and coming back from holidays.

Coming back to the installation I have been collecting a lot of information about how to do that. I have got a windows XP cd which works. None of the new two submarine cable has reached any islands yet. It is only used to make calls to Singapore's hotel (where our president lives) by the ministers. This is a good investment otherwise they have to fly to Singapore or the president have to come to Male' for communication. Now that he is with our main consultant things will be much better via the submarine cable.

Coming back to the installation again, the internet available to Laamu atoll travels a bit faster than the speed of Maldives Posts office. My solution is downloading the internet to a CD-ROM and take it to him. Today I have downloaded the most important parts of the internet. The D.O. and Google. Wikipedia and few porn sites for tomorrow. To carry over 10 kilobytes of data onboard the small dash 8 is still an issue.

Gayyoom (Golhabo) loves Dhivehi Observer

2006-12-12T14:54:00.000+05:00

This morning after I came to the cybercafe as usual I started reading D.O and Minivan with my skype, msn and all sorts of unknown things on this Microsoft Windows XP computer. Suddenly things started to get mixed up and guess what I picked up? the sound of infamous Sappe of Dhivehi Observer talking to our President Gayyoom (also known as Golhaboo among Maldivian adults and Golaabo among children). Both were having a laugh about what was written on D.O. Gayyoom said he is very happy about the work Sappe is doing everyday and his greatest enjoyment is the skype conversation they have every morning in which Gayyoom briefs Sappe on what to write on D.O for the next day. Sappe also praised Gayyoom and said that 'all my inspirations are from you'. Besides praising each other I also heard that 'Golhabo' is a name designed by Gayyoom himself.

Sappe is paid over 10 thousand pounds monthly (over 2 Million Ruffiya annually) by MDP and its supporters and Gayyoom and his supporters pays him twice as much. This is the reason why a person who stays with his family (frequently bringing and sending back his extended family) in the 'Minivan Javvu' of Salisbury with such funding from MDP has managed to do nothing more than damaging the so-called reformers of Maldives among local and all International Organizations.

Although Sappe and Golhabo try hard to hide it if you read back some back issues of D.O you will see the close connections between both of them. Starting from the time Sappe was studying with Golhabo's money and his son in the UK, his open contributions to Ilyas Ibrahim from time to time, specially during the time Ilyas ran against Anni for parliament membership and his connections with Buruma, Jaabir.. the list goes on. I am sure that even Sappe is aware that Maldivians are not going to forget it ever!

Their conversation this morning ended with Gayyoom promising Sappe a Million dollars from the 80 Million (from the Tsunami funds) GPC (Global Protection Committee) found in Gayyoom's banks in the UK. Sappe agreed to try a big 'rocketu' to make up a story to make it unbelievable to the international community and also to the local people. They laughed.. and laughed...

TVM: Maldives Fisherman's Day changed from December 10th to December 29th permanently

2006-12-08T03:06:00.000+05:00

According to TVM, the president's office has issued a notice today (December 7th 2006) stating that from this year onwards Fisherman's Day for Maldives is December 29th. The main reason for this is that the current day marked as Maldives Fisherman's Day (December 10th) coincides with the International Human Rights day. "I think this is a very good move towards the current reform movement which is guided by foreign pressure and public relation firms." said Mr. Robert Willey of UNHCST.

This is also what a lot of fishermen from my atoll feel is better. I could not believe this just from TVM news, of course no one believes TVM now. But things like this which came from the presidents office are true even on TVM.

Religions I know: Introduction

2006-11-20T19:50:00.000+05:00

Before coming to Male' I did not know that there existed a religion other than 'Budhudheen' and Islam. I have always thought that only idiots would be worshiping and asking for things from statues. I was not aware of anything deeper than that about the 'Budhudheen', although I was quite amazed to see Ameethab Bachan's mother being saved by these Budhus on every movie I have ever watched.

Then one day when I was in Male', Mr. Amaruseyna (My boss's fish partner), told me "What do you get by praying to a wall?" At that point it triggered to me that there's a lot more to 'Budhudheen' than just the statues.

Of course I have heard about Yahoodhees, but never new the difference between Yahoodheen and Christians. Like a lot of people in Maldives, I consider them both the same. The occupiers. Although my grade 8 Islam lessons made sure that Yahoodheen was in that land years before Muslims, now the Muslims want Yahoodheen out makes no sense to me. Most of the people in our country is more concerned over the freedom of a country we have never seen than the freedom of our own country. Most people in Palastine live in more freedom and better condition than most of the Maldivians.

It is their job to make their home safe and secure. And our job not to poke our noses where it doesnt belong. (This does not apply for the Wahabees). It is the job of Wahabees to make things more complicated and messy than ever, and it is also the job of Wahabees to make the life of the Palestinians worse. Not ours.

How I become an American doctor without leaving Maldives!

2006-11-04T01:23:00.000+05:00

I specifically told Adambe that I could only live in a house with a TV in Male'. I used to be a big fan of Dharey and Amithab Bachchan. Soley is my all time favorite movie. My (boss's) house is one of the first house in Male' to have a dish antenna. I loved it. I love every inch of the dish. One of my favorite was E.R. I have watched all episodes of E.R. And now I am more than just an ordinary doctor. I know everything about paramedics in special cases.

Some of the doctors with just a mere MBBS from a 3rd world country comes to work at IGMH thinking that they are more than ordinary doctors. They treat others as if they are superior. Whereas as an E.R qualified doctor, I can say that Maldivian doctors need proper training.

Male' Road Project wins the best in the world

2006-10-27T23:25:00.000+05:00

Happy Eid Mubarik to all! What did you do for Eid?

I have been to my atoll for Eid play. It was not as fun as it used to be. Everyone was talking about politics. Anni also visited my island. He showed us many dreams, many dreams which I can't even dream in a dream.

One of the dreams we always had was to pave all roads of my island, so that we can drive our motorcycles faster in the bodumagu. Riding motorcycle has been part of my life as I have lived in Male' most of my life. I take carerof a friend's motorcycle, in exchange he lets me ride it when he works in the resort.

When I grew up in Male', I always knew that Male' Municipality's road project was in competition with the Electricity Board, Water Supply and Telecom Ministry. I have always known that Municipality would be the winner. Hon. Minister Umaru Zahir is a good person who rides a male Raleigh bicycle like an ordinary man. Municipality finished paving the roads with concrete; a technology which no other country has dared to try on the roads.

The losers at Water supply, Electricity Board and Telecom Ministry had to destroy the concrete and lay the pipes and cables for water, electricity, and telephones in three different turns. Well, this process took most of my years in MES school. And as soon as the last road was finished cementing after burying the Electricity cables for the 2nd time, Municipalty developed a new technology. Which they found out later that it is used in other countries in populated continents such as Asia, America, Africa, Australia and Europe. This technology involves importing brick from a company in Singapore (owned by a Maldivian).

To lay the bricks, the Multi Million Rufiyaa cement roads had to be destroyed and replaced with even more expensive high-tech bricks. Like the previous time the Electricity Board (now called STELCO), Water Supply (now MWSC) and Telecom Ministry (now Dhiraagu) was in a race with them. And as before Municipality won. STELCO, MWSC and Dhiraagu had to remove the bricks in separate turns to do their job.

During most of my life in Male', the 2 square kilometer city seemed 10 times as large. The road blocks lead me to travel around male', (sometimes take a boat), to go to the house next block. Fast motorcyclers can only survive in cities as this.

This is the story of Male' road project. It is one of the best road projects in the world. I'm sure it would be a bit better for my Island.

Making love to my car

2006-10-18T23:31:00.000+05:00

The house I stayed has a car made in Japan. I am very proud to be the person who cleans it up everyday before my boss goes to work. I would never have got any opportunity to feel this close to owning my own car if I stayed in my atoll.

A picture of god

2006-10-16T22:25:00.000+05:00

What if God is one of us?

Mariyam Nisha broke my heart

2006-10-16T02:40:00.000+05:00

In the house we had a great time. There was a T.V, we watch from behind the heads of our house people. For few moments I thought I was in heaven. Even in Heaven, I doubt I would ever see Ismail Wajeeh dancing with Mariyam Nisha. It was so good that I thought that I would never even sleep on my foldable bed with my head towards my atoll.

Found confort as a slave in Male'...

2006-10-15T15:36:00.000+05:00

I stayed as a slave in a house in Maafannu near the cemetery. My enslavers were very kind and loving. They are a friend of my Uncle Miruzaa. My uncle lives in Male', a carpenter, a mason, a painter, a foreman, a jack of all. He has many contacts in male', who let me, my brothers and my sister stay in different houses as slaves.

Slave is may be a hard term here. We were not owned by the house for lifetime. Some of the works I did include as small things as polishing my Master's shoes and going to the shop next door to buy a kilogram of lemon, to tiring things as Valhu Dhiya Hikkun (cleaning the well), and cleaning the roof before mansoon rain. These are just regular jobs, in certain occasions I had to do many awkward kind of works as well. I will tell about these later.

1987, coming to male'

2006-10-14T17:11:00.000+05:00

With great hope and desire I came Male' with my family, and Adhambe. With sand on our feet, with smiles on our face. We are one step higher then those who we left behind.