Paper 3/1987: Dichotomy of manifestations raised on appropriating Fatloon in place of Mundu among small island men: An indepth analysis.
By My Mother.
Dhohokko (1985) in his unpublished paper writes "when a country is westernized, men will wear trousers". Dhohokko is one of the leading cultural pseudo-anthropologists from United Kashidhoo (UK). His patent pending “cultural litmus configuration” tests revealed that Mundu is the only covering necessary for the small island nation men.
On the contrary Dr. Rakisbondu (2015) said that ideas like Dhohokko’s are just too old. Younger homosapiens of small islands are wired with 200 Kilobytes per second of MTV and Internet. Dr. Rakisbondu is an advocate of Jeans for men. His research in University of Menchester United shows that wearing Jeans strengthens “Shavhiyani” chromosome of the small island men. Dr. Dr. Latheefa who is holding a double Ph.D writes on her blog that “Riveted jeans can cause social disharmony leading to socioeconomic congressional dispologamy.” Dr. Dr. Latheefa is an advocate of round necked frocks for the countries ‘xy’ chromosomed hummus erectus.
Ibrhahim Dhee Dhee working as an assistant umbrella in the MET office said that Dr. Dr. Latheefa’s papers are not understandable. “They have a tone of very Doctorness. But it is full of misinformation and logical fallacy”. Then he said “a dichotomy is what we seek and dichotomy is what we get” referring to a dark object which looks like a burned thelli babukeyo. “Although Dr. Dr. Latheefa wears Mundu anything she blubbers is considered sinister” (Bus Driver Rasheed 2000).
(Only very educated people comment will be accepted for this post)
Labels: 100%, A++, Five Star, Research, Scientific, Very Good
@ 1:56 AM
8 Comments:
Actually Dhohokko (1985) is mistaken. It is not a sign of permeation of western values and influences and cultural hegemony and tediously pretentious academic aspirations that lead mean to wear trousers. Rather it is a desire to have pockets.
A pocket is, according to Ferguson (1999), a sack without testicles. People were increasingly finding it handy have such sacks on their clothing for them to keep things like cowry shells and condoms (Batuta 1351).
Some (Squire 1989, Gallagher 1997) suggest that it is modernity and western influence that led to Maldivians wanting to have pockets and therefore discarding mundu for trousers is indicative of western structural apocalypse. Thus they reject any notion of agency.
Two groups were asked to study and find out if this assertion was true. One group was led by eminent political scientist Dr. Dr. Latheefa. She observed a group of Maldivians living in Manchester and compared them with another set living in Salisbury.
The ones living in Manchester continued to wear their mundus and the girls even went topless until they had their first period. They successfully resisted, what Schmeichel (1990) calls, danish pastries. The ones living in Salisbury on the other hand insisted on wearing trousers and using hi-speed internet. Dr. Dr. Latheefa's associate researcher Mr. Buriga Dhoolaa was furious. Discarding conventions of academic neutrality (as set out in the Treaty of Versailles 1919) he threatened that unless they abandoned their danish pastries and started eating fihunu golha, he would call on the international community to intervene.
Therefore using these findings this team proved that Gallagher and Squire were right. Unfortunately when their paper was released (2007) no one could understand a word of it.
The other team was led by Ali. He took one look at the assignment and went "mi dhen kihaa bodu balaa ey" and went on strike.
What neither of the researchers took into consideration was the prophecy of Ghuttam Boa IV (1584) stating that after the earth completes approximately 417 orbits around the sun the small island men will be outfitted in fatloon sewn from mundu fothi and would walk proud on the white/gray/brown/black sands commenting how stylish each others fatloons are.
Afterall, what is a fatloon but a fat and a loon?
This is the kind of research we need from our TVM news crew. We will invite Dr. Dr. Latheefa to Heyambo soon.
Professor Ibrahim who commented above is absolutely correct about scientist Dhohokko being wrong about Mundu. In fact in later part of his life Dhohokko became a vocal critic of Mundu. In one of his live interviews to the New Scientist Radio Maldives he said "I would like to see a day 8080 (ah-diha-ahdiha) Mundu get abolished". After this interview all the science journals of the Maldives and the research libraries banned all his previous research from the collection. He was banished to an island with Gallilio Socrates until he died.
Manchester group is fully financed by the Mundu development center. Mr. Buriga Dhoolaa earns his "research" money directly from wearing 8080 Mundu.
This post is intellectually way too far enriched to leave without leaving my signature here.
During our time (that is to say about some 1.2 million years or so ago) we neither had trousers nor munudu. We used to believe in nothing since we didnt know something. We never debated about why is there something instead of nothing.
Then came the agricultural revolution. No before that we evolved (over the years) to what you people (namely, Dr. Rakisbondu) professionaly call Homosapiens. Nomads settled, agriculture revolutionized way of life, cultures were established.
Then came transport. This established trade with multi-cultures ultimately allowing people of mundu to see people of trousers. Ideas travelled across geo-borders and continents. People of mundu now wear trousers.
Thanks to Industrial Revolution too, that now people of mundu prefer to live on the 100th floor of 10 floor building, built on top of a coconut tree.
My love to Dr. Dr. Latheefa!
it was fatloon ibrahimfulhu who started all this
Dr. Dr. Latheefa has also been accused of having inproper relations with minor boys while she was administering a school in 4kland. Through some miracle she and her husband have made it to the academic circles of United Kaashidhoo. I never read her incomprehensive English. I am more concerned for the guy who is working as an Assistant Umbrella at MET office. I just hope he is promoted to Umbrella and then General Umbrella and then Executive Umbrella soon. He can accomplish that overnight when he signs a party form.
A quick note to Dr. Heyamkudey. I am actually not a professor. I am just a ridiculously intelligent person (Hill 2013) who feels the need to communicate my extraordinary gift (Knowlton 2020) to the rest of the world.
I decided to do this by putting together a series of convoluted and totally unintelligable pieces of writing and liberally sprinkle it with references to some books i read in the library. The fact that no one can understand (or frankly care about) what I have to say is of no real concern to me.
I don't do it for your applause, I do it for Mundu.
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