Super Freak - She is Riyaz Miss

Yo ViP, Lets kick it, said Riyazso in the voice of Vanilla Ice singing 'ice ice baby' while on the background Nazimso is wearing a multi colored bra & a bikini dancing with his MNDF boys. Shaking his booty with his police cap facing behind. Riyazso is jumping around from one chair to another in his home called M to the P to the S with his blue-purple tongue licking Nazimso's sexy bra like a vanilla ice cream. So yummy, sweet sweat drops falling in slow motion like a melting ice-cream like in euro2012. Turning brighter each second becoming darker, redder. dark red & thick. Riyazso is licking with his tongue, tasting & sucking. Nazimso is enjoying every slow second, almost hypnotized. Riyazso removes his shirt like he's from a 90s porn flick. He shakes his buttocks holding his shirt over his head and removes his belt while sucking Nazimso 'ice cream' which he likes to suck so bad. He imagines that it's fucking blood, human blood from the people his gang is raping. Old and young dhivehins he's sucking like Nazimso's booby ice-cream. WTF is wrong with us just standing voiceless, hoping that someone will save us. Riyazo is undergoing surgery now to become a shemale - Riyazmiss. "This is the power of SNAP" he's jumping up and down.

a careless whisper to ishan

repeating careless whisper on my walkman on my bed feeling hurt… before i know the meaning of hurt is. on the bed feeling how hurt this man is hanging on a rope singing about a whisper of a good friend. he sure is never gonna dance again. but it's easy to pretend. he's got a wasted chance to dance. but he's never gonna dance like he danced with you. on a bed of roses hurt by the thorns. the music seems so long tonight. she's flying off on a jet. please stay.

A Burugaa for Hajja

Hajja wants me to make a dress for her to wear on for the Alha-Eid ceremony (Muslim Halloween) after Hajj (not to be confused with sexy Hajja). Hajja wears burugaa and very tight long sleeved t-shirts and a summer dress with a bra won top of that. she wears jeans fitting her butt and legs like a butt-glove.

I proposed for her to take a naked picture of her and print it on the t-shirt she wears. Printed boobs matching her real. This would qualify as a cover for her large bosoms. And then to buy a wig from Watsons of Male' (Fresh Air Shop) and wear it over her head. Our local Mulla sheikh says it will fulfill the Burugaa Commandment. Tomorrow our friend photo Jihattey is coming to take the naked pics of her. And we have bought T-shirt transfer paper to print it. If anyone wanna join drop by our studio, preferably naked.

My Oxford experience

Today I have graduated from my Malay university college of Help with a diploma in Headmaster accredited only by Maldives board of accreditation. I will be going back to my atoll to join as the Headmaster of the school where I was boned. Today I would like to thank a lot of people. First of all my boss who with his connections with lots of people of both regimes facilitated my education and job

Second all the instruments in my Farugaalu Foshi (The Oxford Set of Instruments). Without which I couldn't have finished my P.H.D (Preschool Headmaster Diploma) so easily. It was so instrumental in bringing me close to my soul. Specially the points of the dividers which I sometimes pinch myself with. The great Divider which divided me and my islanders, is one of the little things in the set which I have only recently discovered its function.

The compass helped me navigate the rough seas of the Kaashidhoo Kandu, and also helped me draw the circles. I can draw them on various sizes just by adjusting the lever! wow. Only from Oxford that kind of thoughts can come from.

The two Set Squares are so useful when I forget my rulers, I used them to draw straight lines. I use the inside part to draw decorative triangles on my thesis papers.

The rulers, without which there will be no lines in my world. The short rulers which I call the pocket rulers, I carry them with me where ever I go. It is so helpful to draw lines even long lines. The accompanying little (pocket) pencil is also very helpful. The yellow ones, sometimes I tell my friends that the Malay Ikea people copied their pencil from my Oxford set.

The paper which is usually kept inside as a lining for the very useful metal casing also deserve equal thanks. I wrote my name and phone number on the paper. And the day I forgot it in a nearby Bukit, they called me to return it.

And last but not the least is the metal case. It is by far the best designer box I have. I have this idea which I want to sell to Gucci or Giodano to make a Male purse shaped like this. I have been using mine for a couple of years now, and now it's a bit rusted. It's an antique now which I intend to donate to the Oxford museum with my thesis.

And last of all I would like to thank Helix for making it possible. I arrived Male' lastnight's flight, and Male' is so changed now that I have a lot to write soon. Until then, Good Night from Galolhu.

Two sales Garls Wanted! Salary RF3,500/-

For a new shop selling assorted goods located near Galolhu Stadium.
If selected should be willing to work starting 1st September 2008.

Quality:
GCE O/L
Computer Certificate (Microsoft World & Office 2008)
Friendly
If possible spoken voice in the audible range (without the customers having to point their ears to your mouth).

Extra bonus:
Air Conditioned shop.
25" TV
Very good sound system in the shop for music lovers
A collection of Hindhee DVDs to watch movies.

Mobile Phones:
Shop policy does not allow using of mobile phones during working hours. It cuts productivity down and customers complain when they hear sales people saying 'irukolhakun ebagulhan... eey migulhaneeyeh... customeraku ebahuri... hmmm dhen baavanee'.


(The shop will open for Roadha mas. Now registration in trade. If no girls available we also take boys who use perfume, hair gel and facial cream)

brooms and boobs

Twentieth time in these two days my buddy Fahmee and I have been to BML Atms located everywhere in Male'. We spend a considerable time on each occasion looking at others waiting before me, impatiently to check the bank balance. Everyone chooses option three from the 3rd screen and take a quick balance printout. Some people bring many cards. Probably of co-workers. All balances are closer to 0. Fahmee's balance is also RF 0.28 each of the times we checked.

We are waiting for the salary to be transfered. All the people are waiting and checking which ATM gets the money first. Last month I said BML near IGMH, Fakey (Fahmee's nick name) ATM near STO will get the salaries first. He won and I had to give him a coffee which he paid with the salary money he took. This time I am saying Olympus ATM. All our friends play this game. Which ATM gets the salary first. Very fun game for the end of the month. Can somebody make this a facebook game?

We are waiting till we get the salary to goto Ugulhey Baazaaru -- the best place in town. Though most have not got the salary yet they have been there once or twice so far. To get squeezed and to squeeze. I have not yet been there this year so far. But I am waiting to go when salary money of Fakey comes to the ATM. I remember last time we bought a lot of brooms and buckets. They are very useful.

My friend Farooq ordered one container from Bangkok for the market. But he could not pay the duty to it is stuck in customs.

I will write about the night market experience after I go.

Evolution of pickup transport in Maldives. A humble appeal to show care.

Strangest of the strange I have been seeing a very strange kind of pickup trucks these days. Sizes ranging from small to large. Each time I see these strange pickups I begin to wonder about the mechanics behind these advanced new heavy load vehicles. It is very useful for places like Fura Male'. With the credit crunch and the economic crisis globally and more noticeably locally these kinds of new vehicles are perhaps how the pickup trucks could best evolve.

With increased fuel prices the WaveRyders like me who fills up my Wave with five Rufiya of petrol each time just get me to go two rounds around Male' which is making us worry. The Wavers need to choose an alternative (with the same productivity as riding around Male'). Some like me might start to count the number of people passing by while I wait on top of my (borrowed) Wave in front of my house... well my boss's (or parent's?) house. Staying on the Wave in an awkward position playing with my phone (which I haven't recharged for few weeks). But I can still press the buttons. And take 0.3 Megapixel photos I will one day upload to a Flickr.

WaveRyders are less, the Taxi prices increase. What can the people do? Protest... nah... rather sit on the bike and play with the phone.. or sleep a bit longer... and do something to annoy the next person. Arrange a community shouting contest. Watch TV if possible forever.

Now back to the new pickup truck which has started to emerge when a certain group of people realized that the fuel or paying for the pickups is too expensive. They get a modified used pickup from a nearby country that can also do a lot more things. Their monthly installment price is very few Rupees or Dakaa. Cheap is good. These pickups are usually multi-owner based. Serve the owners, serve the friends, serve the neighbor same monthly installment.

Smaller versions have two wheels. Can carry two to four sacks of garbage bags (of the volume of a 50kg Hakuru Bastha each). The front can carry the volume of an empty Coast milk case full of garbage. Of cause when these filled with garbage are less heavy, but the pickup truck is a mechanical device it wouldn't complain if it becomes heavier. These breed of pickups just go to the instructed location and deliver them (mostly to the garbage dump).

Then there is the small version. This time with no wheels. The strangest of the strange I saw today the pickup crossing the zebra crossing when the green light for people were on! It was carrying a metal bed. Raised to the top of its two forklift arms. Obviously any onlooker would know that the forklift was overloaded and may collapse anytime. We just cracked a joke about it and we thought these are just mechanical vehicles that runs on the oldest technology of bio-fuel. The people we supposedly imitate used camels as pickups. Now we believe in evolution so we use what the bosses believe are animals from the neighboring nations for these kind of tasks. But they do have a passport, a name, a work permit, and sometimes a soul, a family, a father, a mother, a sister, children.

SAVE THEM! AND STOP ABUSING THEM. TREAT THEM AS THEY ARE OUR CHILDREN OUR PARENTS! THEM = US!

From behind a lorry last night riding around Male'

42 people - assorted shapes and sizes but all in red

Felt 24 boobs in 2 hours (18 Burugaa boobs)

Poked by 17 dicks (all erect and hard)

My own dick got wanked 12 times (6 times by males)

Fingered 8 pussies 3 asses (1 male)

Got sucked by 3 (all burugaa girls)

Sucked 4 pussies and 1 dick

Kissed 54 lips in two hours

Sexed 2 girls (1 very fat)

All the while shouting Maldives Hop Hop Hop

And very happy for the teamwork and unity.

We are the champions.

mOscar awards 2008 (Maldives)

Baftas, Oscars, Crystals and Moscas. In slightly less expensive cafes everyone is talking about awards. In the last 4 months this country has held 3 film festivals with 3 award ceremonies. Mollywood industry which produces less than 2 feature films on average a year holds an award ceremony every other month. About 150 people work in this industry who need constant reminding of how great their work is. According to industry sources each of these ceremonies costs about 10 times the budget of a typical Maldivian film. And 2 times the budget of the most expensive Dhivehi movie made in the past 10 years.

A year, 2 movies, 3 awards shows. Half a million Ruffiyaa for each of the shows. Note: this is excluding Hotel and transport charges.

The latest show was held at Dharubaaruge and the participants were invited to stay in Male' at Nalahiya Hotel for the ceremony. They were offered to stay in the lobby free of charge for 30 minutes (from 8:00 to 8:30pm). They can use free toilets and were served with Taza mineral water at this time. Taxis were washed and turned into limos by placing a sticker on the number plate and on top of the word "Taxi". Everyone was greeted well at Dharubaaruge which hosted the latest of the awards. Government owned newspaper Miadhu and lots of government related businesses sponsored the event. The actors danced with the sponsor's name boards at the end of the show. Sponsors were made very happy looking at their bodies move with the brand logos.

I am happy to have watched all 3 shows live on MTV.

Jumhooree Celebration

All corners of Maldives are celebrating. A celebration which is self organized by all small and large communities. All most all junctions of the populated areas of Maldives is in festival mode. Dances, music, public speeches etc. All the mosques filled with believers thanking god with happiness. Like a huge eid extended over weeks. A fresh smile and a sense of ease and relaxation on everyone's face.

As a tourist I was looking at all these things kind of puzzled. Because my guide warned me that this country is officially in a "mourning" period and the flags are on half mast. Because their president passed away while serving his 29th year.

Hassaney is getting married to Reyshma with small boobs

A tiring week for me. A friend of a friend is planning to get married. His name is Hassaney.

Who is Hassaney:
Hassaney has a Honda Eliminator 250 Hp motor cycle with two engine silencers. He rides his motor cycle (Saiku) as fast as he can on the busiest highways of Male'. A lot of girls like his Saiku which is also nicknamed Devil. Hassaney chooses girls with large b(.)(.)bs to go for rides on his Devil. These girls keep their b(.)(.)bs firmly pressed against Hassaneys burakashi as Hassaney races all his adrenaline out of him. Girls hold him as tight as they can and the faster he races the tighter they hold on. Hassaney's Devil is really Kaamiyaabu. The Devil is one of the badi-est in Male'.

Who is Hassaney's wife to be:
Her name is Reyshma. She wears glasses. I used to see her going to school with a pile of books covering her almost non-existent b..bs. She never looks at others. Straight from her house to school. If at night accompanied by her brother. She also wears a buruga. She's a homely girl. Hassaney wants to make her his wife. Because Hassaney is sure that Reyshma will stay at home reading the latest story books of Nahla and watching the latest Nahla's films while Hassaney races on the Devil with b(.)(.)bs. And not surprisingly Reyshma has not yet have had the privilege to ride the Devil. (probably she'll never have).

The Room:
Hassaney lives with his extended family consisting of 3 couples and 5 children plus the grandma and grandpa (Hassaney's mom and dad). The house is not small but not big either. It's about 850 sq feet. Each of the married members of the family has somehow managed to squeeze a room of space into this 850sq feet. It's magical. Hassaney's going to be the 5th room in the house. A part of the kitchen and a potion from his brother's toilet was taken for Hassaney's room. Sitting room of the house is already taken for a previously wedded brother. Hassaney's room is in an awkward shape.

This year is Hassaney's year. Hassaney wants the best room for him and his Reyshma. A bedroom set is a must. Hassaney borrowed money from all his family, friends and friend's friends to buy the best bedroom set from Parkway Furniture (a Goldenlane shop). He has managed to ignore the payments for his Devil motorcycle for years.

I was involved in constructing the room for him. I was among the few who helped paint his room. Purple color with a brownish pattern. Paint is bought from A.H Brothers. Hassaney also bought a mini-bar fridge for his room. We are going to put the King size bed in his room tomorrow. Tonight Hassaney has to decided whether to alter the bed or move the dressing table to the toilet. The aircond people will come tomorrow as well.

And then comes the wedding party preparation! Hassaney is a lucky man.

Paper 3/1987: Dichotomy of manifestations raised on appropriating Fatloon in place of Mundu among small island men: An indepth analysis.

By My Mother.

Dhohokko (1985) in his unpublished paper writes "when a country is westernized, men will wear trousers". Dhohokko is one of the leading cultural pseudo-anthropologists from United Kashidhoo (UK). His patent pending “cultural litmus configuration” tests revealed that Mundu is the only covering necessary for the small island nation men.

On the contrary Dr. Rakisbondu (2015) said that ideas like Dhohokko’s are just too old. Younger homosapiens of small islands are wired with 200 Kilobytes per second of MTV and Internet. Dr. Rakisbondu is an advocate of Jeans for men. His research in University of Menchester United shows that wearing Jeans strengthens “Shavhiyani” chromosome of the small island men. Dr. Dr. Latheefa who is holding a double Ph.D writes on her blog that “Riveted jeans can cause social disharmony leading to socioeconomic congressional dispologamy.” Dr. Dr. Latheefa is an advocate of round necked frocks for the countries ‘xy’ chromosomed hummus erectus.

Ibrhahim Dhee Dhee working as an assistant umbrella in the MET office said that Dr. Dr. Latheefa’s papers are not understandable. “They have a tone of very Doctorness. But it is full of misinformation and logical fallacy”. Then he said “a dichotomy is what we seek and dichotomy is what we get” referring to a dark object which looks like a burned thelli babukeyo. “Although Dr. Dr. Latheefa wears Mundu anything she blubbers is considered sinister” (Bus Driver Rasheed 2000).

(Only very educated people comment will be accepted for this post)