brooms and boobs

Twentieth time in these two days my buddy Fahmee and I have been to BML Atms located everywhere in Male'. We spend a considerable time on each occasion looking at others waiting before me, impatiently to check the bank balance. Everyone chooses option three from the 3rd screen and take a quick balance printout. Some people bring many cards. Probably of co-workers. All balances are closer to 0. Fahmee's balance is also RF 0.28 each of the times we checked.

We are waiting for the salary to be transfered. All the people are waiting and checking which ATM gets the money first. Last month I said BML near IGMH, Fakey (Fahmee's nick name) ATM near STO will get the salaries first. He won and I had to give him a coffee which he paid with the salary money he took. This time I am saying Olympus ATM. All our friends play this game. Which ATM gets the salary first. Very fun game for the end of the month. Can somebody make this a facebook game?

We are waiting till we get the salary to goto Ugulhey Baazaaru -- the best place in town. Though most have not got the salary yet they have been there once or twice so far. To get squeezed and to squeeze. I have not yet been there this year so far. But I am waiting to go when salary money of Fakey comes to the ATM. I remember last time we bought a lot of brooms and buckets. They are very useful.

My friend Farooq ordered one container from Bangkok for the market. But he could not pay the duty to it is stuck in customs.

I will write about the night market experience after I go.

SMS greetings are for lonely uptight old fashioned sissy loonies

Today I received few sms-cards from my friends from my atoll and Azeez and Family who moved to Trivendrapur after renting his Male' wife's bedroom and toilet to a flock of Banglish.

Sms-cards were almost fashionable long before mobile phones (pre-paid one-way) in this country exceeded the population. But now my coffee mates think that sending sms-cards and e-cards and things are too sissy and out of style. Well, they say that only lonely people who has nothing better to do sends these. Well it seems that nowadays a lot of people are like that.

Specially on meaningless fake occasions like independence days. If you are one of those loony people and non of your friends actually remembers you, you are probably counting days for these kind of opportunities and spend few Rufiyaas on mass smses. And you are lucky if any one of them reply, except for another lonely bored person, or out of sympathy. And you wait for another occasion impatiently. So lonely.

Now check your phone and run through the people who sends you these numbers. These are really sad and lonely people.

And on this day I have just one message. Do not re-elect the dick.

Recipe for Fuh Gulha (Maldivian Fish Balls)

Ingredients
For Masgandu (inside)
Smoked tuna (Valhowmas) or Canned fish
Scraped Coconut (Huni)
Sliced Onion
Lemon Juice
Salt
Ginger
Chilly
Turmeric (Reendhoo)


For Fuhgandu (outside)
Flour
Water
Salt

First mix the Masgandu. Don't be afraid dirty up your hands and taste.
Now make balls from the Masgandu. You can eat a few balls to remind yourself of your childhood days eating the bare Masgandu.

Now mix the Fuhgandu and make balls from them as well. Push your thumbs into these balls to make baskets and put the Masgandu balls into them. Slowly it round to bring the shape of a Gulha. Then fry until golden brown.

Serve with sugary black tea.

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Recipe Today by our party. The next episode will be brought to you by a different party. Our party is better than them because we have opened up the recipe of our top secret product The Fuh Gulha by Our Party (T.F.G by O.P).

Gasim Vs. Yaamin

From the award wining directors of "In-laws, Family & Step-Family", "Ukulhuvalhu or November 3rd" and "Iliyaas for President" a sequel.

In the beginning of this new movie, young entrepreneur Yaamin owned a bunch of companies named STO, STELCO, MIFCO, Trade Ministry (and a lot more). Young Yaamin gets very rich profiting from these businesses that he himself owns.

Iliyaas (played by Gasim) is shown with a long beard banished to Singapore's International Plaza. Iliyaas was the previous owner of Yaamin's companies & a lot more. But Yaamin was a cleverer businessman. He legitimately bought shares from Iliyaas and slowly took over the whole empire (with few exceptions such as Villa).

The second part of the movie is set "15 years later". Now Yaamin has grown old. And Gaasim (the actor who played Iliyaas) now has a role which appears to be independent for himself. Gradually the director has removed the character from the actor. The change is seamless to the audience. The rest of the movie is a big fight between Iliyaas (now Gasim) & Yaamin. Yaamin spread rumors about budget deficit. Gaasim says he doesn't know the meaning of defecation.

Bargains. Threats. Gasim resigns from the film. Yaamin threats to direct another film. Director makes special effects, magic with a little use of patent-pending Golha force. All suspense. Love affairs, cutting ribbons, resignations, promotions & and playing musical chairs in the kitchen cabinet. This movie has it all. Guest starting Hill & Knowlton, Roysten Ellis and DJ FJ. Coming to cinemas and Directly to Brain (D2B) in August, September or October 2008 or 2010.


Reviewers are calling the director who has been filming this movie for over 30 years the best director of all time. These reviews are inserted into the movie to make the effect more true. One might think that these are staged reviews. But no no. The director of deception releases 'independent' reviews of the film on DhiTV, DhiFM, HaveeruNews, HFM and DhivehiObserver*. These are also part of the film. The audience are all applauding to all applaudable moves, crying to all sad moves, laughing to all the laughs.

Zoom out, and the movie ends. But wait. The audience is also filmed. They are in the movie. Audience moving out of the cinema is also part of the movie. The cinema is a set too. D2B is at work.

Notable Extras for this film include members of MDP for set decoration and playing double roles in favor of Gasim (Iliyaas), Yaamin or whoever gives them more movie-money (which is of no use outside).

*DhivehiObservers current shareholders include Yaamin (via LollyJ) & the founder Iliyaas (played by Gasim).