How and why online delivery services will fail in the squire-mile capital Male'

by our very cool geeky looking icon of online correspondent

It capitalizes on other failures.

1. FAILURE OF PEOPLE: to get up on their own butts and get it and make the courts independent. Obviously anyone using this service would have an iphone like phone and a wave like motorcycle and would be familiar with lavaza culture. And people will never fail!

2. FAILURE OF MALE' PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEM: though the government has pledged to connect all islands, our Male' municipality has yet to employ someone with the capacity to conceive the necessity here. Perhaps the local council elections will change this.

3. FAILIURE TO RECOGNIZE THE POTENTIAL MARKET FOR THE RESTAURANTS: most restaurants already has this service. Its very few places like Seahouse that are still technologically a little behind without an online menu for delivery. But this is destined to change which would leave only the bad ones like Hotel Baadhalaa 2 for deliveries.

If not absorbed by a restaurant chain which can be advertised as "Lemongrass buys out fancyname.com for an undisclosed sum" equivalent to a fraction of money that would easily do a basic website for them. Thus this modern day aigaadiyaa dhemun delivery will not sustain. Sorry cool guys. It's not as bad as wataniya's new website though. But we'll only know how from a future podcast about this. I really love that.

Innovative review of our http://smoke.machine.mv

Great idea from the greatest of the new hybrid innovators of the technological venture capitalist of the internet of this Maldives

I sit here very busy doing my dot coms and pod casts and taking pictures of pod casts and making videos about this. It makes me very famous and makes me feel very technologically advanced, specially among me and my five or six friends who I like to go and have coffee sometimes with and talk about my greatest of all the innovations, the names I choose, and me me and me. The most innovative group me, the tech guy who likes to look like a geek icon, believe it or not, listen to my pod cast you'll know what I mean. So clean and great.

And today as I was recording my podcast we have got the greatest idea and now i have secured a dot come. The http://smoke.machine.mv. This is a dot come machine I am inventive with my other counter part who also has the same name as me, but he's not the CEO but the Junior CEO of Innovation and Invocation. Very geeky and advance only the very new american teeny boppers will understand what I'm saying, because these are so very cool things we are doing, so from the heart of silicon valley (near faafu atollhu velidhoo).

This new product is for hithaanu season, specially for this year 2010 and 2011. Everybody get ready for Haaburi and sing and dance, Tharbe and the girly boys. Now with a ipod app called smoke.machine.mv (our latest venture) you can make smoke come out of any home from your mobile phone app. This is done in very quick 5 minute programming done by our tech staff which he build a unix pipe that connects to Majeedhee magu and the dust is converted to smoke and send to the hithaanu house! All this for free. More baout this on out next pod cast be ready for sweet and juice details!!!

Love you all!

Journey to meet Dhon Adhambe - Part 1

Thursday morning 7:38am captan Abdullabe started the engine and my journey begins on this small but beautiful dhoni which is destined to reach Baa Atoll, my destination. I played thaas (cards) with my friend Haneef, Abdusattar, and Ibu on the 8 hour boat trip which we stopped for lunch cooked by the boys of Kappi and for Haneef to pray facing Mecca the Qibla.

Today is a hot day and the sea is very calm and almost not windy. This made me thirsty a lot. we fulfilled our thirst with coca-cola by Universal Enterprises and Resorts Pvt Ltd and aquafresh water by the same coke company served in silver bottles named Bon aqua very fresh.

At 16:14 I was on the island with my two modern backpack filled with 3 shorts, 6 t-shirts (branded) and 1 long jeans (Denim). After keeping the stuff at the house I went to meet Hassan and Kareem who were playing football on the dhandu. I joined in and few runs and I was dead tired and sweaty. But it was very nice experience. All the girls wearing burugaas are looking at my shorts. wow.

At six o-clock I went into the gifili (a room with a well known as a valhu) and I put the dhaani (a stick joined to a large coast milk can) inside the well and fill it up with water. Poured it on my head with cold water of the island. It was so araamu. Each drop of water touched my skin with a sensation that I wished to last forever. The dhaani filled with islandy cold water pouring onto my head cleaning the accumulated salty heat of the trip of my whole life. I felt like this is honestly the most satisfactory experience a person can ever have in an island. Meditative, dark, no sound except the sound of waves and an occasional bird flying with nature, and a giggle behind the coral walls of my gifili, my meditation garden of delight. I repeatedly did the dhaani movement up an down, up and down over my head until I reach the movement of no return and then I let go as pure white coming out of the shower. I dressed well and came to my folding bed (faijehi endhu) and nothing, nothing has changed in this island in the past 800 or so years since it was populated first by the settlers from Sri Lanka, except may be my iphone 3Gs and the Wataniya signal that enabled me to write this blog entry. I sleep now and good night.

Gasim Vs. Yaamin

From the award wining directors of "In-laws, Family & Step-Family", "Ukulhuvalhu or November 3rd" and "Iliyaas for President" a sequel.

In the beginning of this new movie, young entrepreneur Yaamin owned a bunch of companies named STO, STELCO, MIFCO, Trade Ministry (and a lot more). Young Yaamin gets very rich profiting from these businesses that he himself owns.

Iliyaas (played by Gasim) is shown with a long beard banished to Singapore's International Plaza. Iliyaas was the previous owner of Yaamin's companies & a lot more. But Yaamin was a cleverer businessman. He legitimately bought shares from Iliyaas and slowly took over the whole empire (with few exceptions such as Villa).

The second part of the movie is set "15 years later". Now Yaamin has grown old. And Gaasim (the actor who played Iliyaas) now has a role which appears to be independent for himself. Gradually the director has removed the character from the actor. The change is seamless to the audience. The rest of the movie is a big fight between Iliyaas (now Gasim) & Yaamin. Yaamin spread rumors about budget deficit. Gaasim says he doesn't know the meaning of defecation.

Bargains. Threats. Gasim resigns from the film. Yaamin threats to direct another film. Director makes special effects, magic with a little use of patent-pending Golha force. All suspense. Love affairs, cutting ribbons, resignations, promotions & and playing musical chairs in the kitchen cabinet. This movie has it all. Guest starting Hill & Knowlton, Roysten Ellis and DJ FJ. Coming to cinemas and Directly to Brain (D2B) in August, September or October 2008 or 2010.


Reviewers are calling the director who has been filming this movie for over 30 years the best director of all time. These reviews are inserted into the movie to make the effect more true. One might think that these are staged reviews. But no no. The director of deception releases 'independent' reviews of the film on DhiTV, DhiFM, HaveeruNews, HFM and DhivehiObserver*. These are also part of the film. The audience are all applauding to all applaudable moves, crying to all sad moves, laughing to all the laughs.

Zoom out, and the movie ends. But wait. The audience is also filmed. They are in the movie. Audience moving out of the cinema is also part of the movie. The cinema is a set too. D2B is at work.

Notable Extras for this film include members of MDP for set decoration and playing double roles in favor of Gasim (Iliyaas), Yaamin or whoever gives them more movie-money (which is of no use outside).

*DhivehiObservers current shareholders include Yaamin (via LollyJ) & the founder Iliyaas (played by Gasim).

Evolution of pickup transport in Maldives. A humble appeal to show care.

Strangest of the strange I have been seeing a very strange kind of pickup trucks these days. Sizes ranging from small to large. Each time I see these strange pickups I begin to wonder about the mechanics behind these advanced new heavy load vehicles. It is very useful for places like Fura Male'. With the credit crunch and the economic crisis globally and more noticeably locally these kinds of new vehicles are perhaps how the pickup trucks could best evolve.

With increased fuel prices the WaveRyders like me who fills up my Wave with five Rufiya of petrol each time just get me to go two rounds around Male' which is making us worry. The Wavers need to choose an alternative (with the same productivity as riding around Male'). Some like me might start to count the number of people passing by while I wait on top of my (borrowed) Wave in front of my house... well my boss's (or parent's?) house. Staying on the Wave in an awkward position playing with my phone (which I haven't recharged for few weeks). But I can still press the buttons. And take 0.3 Megapixel photos I will one day upload to a Flickr.

WaveRyders are less, the Taxi prices increase. What can the people do? Protest... nah... rather sit on the bike and play with the phone.. or sleep a bit longer... and do something to annoy the next person. Arrange a community shouting contest. Watch TV if possible forever.

Now back to the new pickup truck which has started to emerge when a certain group of people realized that the fuel or paying for the pickups is too expensive. They get a modified used pickup from a nearby country that can also do a lot more things. Their monthly installment price is very few Rupees or Dakaa. Cheap is good. These pickups are usually multi-owner based. Serve the owners, serve the friends, serve the neighbor same monthly installment.

Smaller versions have two wheels. Can carry two to four sacks of garbage bags (of the volume of a 50kg Hakuru Bastha each). The front can carry the volume of an empty Coast milk case full of garbage. Of cause when these filled with garbage are less heavy, but the pickup truck is a mechanical device it wouldn't complain if it becomes heavier. These breed of pickups just go to the instructed location and deliver them (mostly to the garbage dump).

Then there is the small version. This time with no wheels. The strangest of the strange I saw today the pickup crossing the zebra crossing when the green light for people were on! It was carrying a metal bed. Raised to the top of its two forklift arms. Obviously any onlooker would know that the forklift was overloaded and may collapse anytime. We just cracked a joke about it and we thought these are just mechanical vehicles that runs on the oldest technology of bio-fuel. The people we supposedly imitate used camels as pickups. Now we believe in evolution so we use what the bosses believe are animals from the neighboring nations for these kind of tasks. But they do have a passport, a name, a work permit, and sometimes a soul, a family, a father, a mother, a sister, children.

SAVE THEM! AND STOP ABUSING THEM. TREAT THEM AS THEY ARE OUR CHILDREN OUR PARENTS! THEM = US!

mOscar awards 2008 (Maldives)

Baftas, Oscars, Crystals and Moscas. In slightly less expensive cafes everyone is talking about awards. In the last 4 months this country has held 3 film festivals with 3 award ceremonies. Mollywood industry which produces less than 2 feature films on average a year holds an award ceremony every other month. About 150 people work in this industry who need constant reminding of how great their work is. According to industry sources each of these ceremonies costs about 10 times the budget of a typical Maldivian film. And 2 times the budget of the most expensive Dhivehi movie made in the past 10 years.

A year, 2 movies, 3 awards shows. Half a million Ruffiyaa for each of the shows. Note: this is excluding Hotel and transport charges.

The latest show was held at Dharubaaruge and the participants were invited to stay in Male' at Nalahiya Hotel for the ceremony. They were offered to stay in the lobby free of charge for 30 minutes (from 8:00 to 8:30pm). They can use free toilets and were served with Taza mineral water at this time. Taxis were washed and turned into limos by placing a sticker on the number plate and on top of the word "Taxi". Everyone was greeted well at Dharubaaruge which hosted the latest of the awards. Government owned newspaper Miadhu and lots of government related businesses sponsored the event. The actors danced with the sponsor's name boards at the end of the show. Sponsors were made very happy looking at their bodies move with the brand logos.

I am happy to have watched all 3 shows live on MTV.

A very Happy News

I was working really hard in the office this afternoon when suddenly my phone started vibrating. I checked my phone and it was my sis calling. I thought something big happened but on the other end she was sounding very happy. phew!! her happy tone calmed me alot :)

And we were having a very happy sisterly talk when she came up with this happy news. One of her very closest friend is living in Malaysia with her family. She has 2 little beautiful princess aged 4 and 2 (Lulu and Laiko). well, it seems that sister told her friend to check my bloggy.

And she checked...like others she wasn't xpecting much i guess. However, all of a sudden this bloggy of mine cast a magical spell on them. This has become one of the really interesting and cool blogs. And the most important part was Lulu and Laiko loved this bloggy and they didn't even let their mom to comment even :)

Anyways Rash ill try to make my blog more interesting for everyone.

And thanks sis it was a really happy news that relieved me from the tense mood i was having b4 u called. love you all :)

edited the names and reposted from here. Thank you. It's so inspiring.

MDP's presidential candidate

Nowadays the hottest coffee story of Male' and in UK is who's the presidential candidate from MDP. MDP has kept it's candidate really secretive. Their argument is if they reveal the candidate too soon the government may copy it and present the same candidate as theirs. This goes to all their other policies as well. We people are to suffer. They say that they have better education plans, health care schemes, transport plans. But they do not want others to know.

It is like my friend Jabir from my island. He knows how to build rockets that can go back in time. But he do not want to build it because he thinks that others may copy.

Anyway many MDP people are not very happy about presenting Munavvaru and Zaki as the candidate. Because they both once were the most corrupt ministers of the current regime. People do not want to reward corruption and injustice by making them the next presidents.

Rumours say that MDP may support Dr. Hassan Saeed. But for me I am with Anni. He has said that he does not want to become the president. But he has done more work to reform than any one else. And he has a very presidential height.

What is the coolest cafe in Male'?

Hello friends in the blogs. I have returned from my island. Good news is my boss has increased my salary.

WOW!

Now I have got more money to spend than I usually have. What is a useful thing to do? Here are the options I have:

Save the money at a bank
Send the money to my family in the island
Save the money and buy a huge LCD TV and a VCD player
or I've got a better idea!

Have coffee with friends in cool cafes. So far I have gone to coffee only very few times and always it's someone else who pays for my coffee. I go to Hotaas a lot. I go there with friends from the island. I eat. Food is good. We say a few fun jokes to the waiters. Everyone is so peaceful and down to earth in the Hotaas. But day by day my friends are not coming to Hotaas with me. They think Hotaas are not cool.

So since last week I've been going to cafes! People are so cool. Everyone is talking about big things. Resorts. Cars and Big shops. Waiters wear very nice uniforms. No Food. But coffee.

Now I know that people calls coffee Lavaza. I think it's Coffee in Australian language. I go and order "One Lavaza Milk". And they bring a bottle of water and some Dhufaa saamanu (nuts) along with it. And the cost, I end up paying more than I would have if I were to eat a whole meal at a non-cool hotaa. But I think it's worth it. Though the cafe experience is so much more expensive I love to be part of the cool circle. Now I need to buy some hair gel. They say the girls will smile at me if I put it.

Can anyone recommend a good cafe? What is the coolest cafe in male'? and which table should I choose?

I Am A Disco Dancer

"Disco Dancer" is the first film I ever watched. It was the only film I was able to watch until Rasheed was banished to our island in late eighties. Rasheed brought many films with him and a TV and a VCP (Video Cassette Player). VCDs and DVDs was not invented in Maldives those days. When Dr. Razee's family visited our island for a holiday they brought Disco Dancer film. We watched it through the window of the house they were staying in. They watched it every night. And I watched it every night. First few days outside. And then they knew that we were watching it so they let us in to the fenda to watch. By the time they left the island I have learned some Hindi and on top of that I became a Disco Dancer.

Me, Kaasim, Juneydhey and Rishfa were very young. We tried to dance like Mithun every day. We held a competition. Zubeyru was able to play the boduberu with Disco Dancer beats. I with my Mundu on top of my head dance with my not so long legs throwing to air like Mithun Chakarubothy. I won the competition. After that for few years they called me Disco Dancer (nickname Disco Dancer-tey). Kaasim was the runner up.

When growing up in my island Mithun's courage and dance ability was an inspiration to me live my life. And look at me now. I have DJed several parties we held in our kitchen while washing up after dinner. So I'm officially a DJ now. One day I hope to release an Album interneytionaly first.