an open letter to the wise president

on my own time, in my own world. i miss my mundu which i feel natural inside. hanging myself down with the air flowing. the breeze of my island. with one hand behind my back the other leaning on the wall. looking at the corner of a wall. one wall meeting the other near a door. how clever. and then suddenly i see my car going in front of me. it cannot be. but it had the emblem plates. it cannot be anni at this time, or the majlis guy, because it's a used benz. it's my car. my driver perhaps taking his girlfriend for a ride... or i'm day dreaming... like i always do. i'm the wise president.

-written by his son.

What is 350 and why is it in the Maldives?

Ever since I came back from my Oxford education from the greatest capital of Malaysia Desekiyara condominium I have been seeing a lot of things about 350. Everybody is talking about 350. 350 350 350. So I asked my science friend what it is. He is very scientific and from the science Association of Maldives and Malaysia (double degree holder). He says:

"350 is the number of carbondioxygen things in one million dollars of air particles. For every tourist dollar we spend, they bring 350 dollars of carbondioxygen from traveling from Europe, England and Japan every day. So unless we have a large format offset printer we will go under water in the next cabinet meeting." Dr. Spokesman for Science Ass. (not yet dr. but soon in the next 15 years will be dr.)

So it got all of my buddies thinking. What can we do on our wave cycles? So buddy Raittey says, why dont we drive our motorcycles 350 rounds around male' every day? Sounds like a good idea. So we are doing it now. non-stop. and on break we are talking a lot about environments and resort deal investments and non-alchoholic beer. Environment is very good. we have to save the earth in every way we can, even if it takes riding big motocycles. Because we get very famous with this kind of things. Being famous can save anyone anytime. This is very special scientific facts only scientists can think of.

So anyone wanna join our 350 rounds of motocycle rides around Male' for saving the world, join us on 24 octoboer 2009 near 1 number jetty. thank you very much.

Special thanks to 350.org, Scientists of Maldives and the cabinet in my kitchen.

Islamic Ministry should ban Islamic Ministry

Islamic Ministry is becoming notorious for banning and abolishing things in the Maldives. The reasons are usually 'complains' from the public. Who the fuck is this Islamic public who complains about everything on earth? Why don't they stay at home and own their own business. What if the wives of this so called Islamic community starts complaining about domestic violence and sexual abuse?

Islamic Ministry should start counseling sessions now, first starting from themselves first. Practice what you believe without forcing others to do as you wish. Without getting into the freedom of others. Now some might say that it is what your God intends, but remember majority of this world don't believe in your God, or your religion, and don't give a fuck.

mOscar awards 2008 (Maldives)

Baftas, Oscars, Crystals and Moscas. In slightly less expensive cafes everyone is talking about awards. In the last 4 months this country has held 3 film festivals with 3 award ceremonies. Mollywood industry which produces less than 2 feature films on average a year holds an award ceremony every other month. About 150 people work in this industry who need constant reminding of how great their work is. According to industry sources each of these ceremonies costs about 10 times the budget of a typical Maldivian film. And 2 times the budget of the most expensive Dhivehi movie made in the past 10 years.

A year, 2 movies, 3 awards shows. Half a million Ruffiyaa for each of the shows. Note: this is excluding Hotel and transport charges.

The latest show was held at Dharubaaruge and the participants were invited to stay in Male' at Nalahiya Hotel for the ceremony. They were offered to stay in the lobby free of charge for 30 minutes (from 8:00 to 8:30pm). They can use free toilets and were served with Taza mineral water at this time. Taxis were washed and turned into limos by placing a sticker on the number plate and on top of the word "Taxi". Everyone was greeted well at Dharubaaruge which hosted the latest of the awards. Government owned newspaper Miadhu and lots of government related businesses sponsored the event. The actors danced with the sponsor's name boards at the end of the show. Sponsors were made very happy looking at their bodies move with the brand logos.

I am happy to have watched all 3 shows live on MTV.

Riding towards Majeedhi Magu tonight

I had to slow down my Wave 100 on an average road of Male' leading to the central Majeedhi Magu. There were many Wave cycles parked on the right side parking zone at 20 to 50 degrees angle from the one stone pavements. On the other side along with Waves parked parallel to the road are pedestrians squeezing through between them and the ongoing traffic of Wave cycles, bigger cycles and taxi cars. The sports car look-alikes don't come into these roads because this economy is not what the drivers of these cars want to show themselves to. The road is crowded with very small houses of three floors on average. Each house appears unfinished, or not painted after Jumhoory 30 of 1998. Dusty and corroded but still with living people and pests inside. All houses are full. Some overflowing with people. People stay in front of the house wearing a 8080 Mundu (sarong), listening to AM Radio with an antenna or wearing a BodyGlove trousers (shirtless) talking on a Nokia 6300 perched on one of the parked Wave cycles that doesn't obviously belong to him. Or a teenage boy (with long sleeved shirt) holding a girl (wearing a midi and burugaa) in the shadows.

I had to slow down my Wave 100 because a taxi was slowing down just ahead of me. It finally stopped in front of a house almost the length of the taxi. The right door opened into the sitting room cum maids room of the house. Three ladies came out of the taxi. One wearing a baby blue Buruga with glittery silver stars on it. She had lipstick on her lips and a reasonable amount of red powder on her face. She looked the eldest (in her late 50s) of the three. Then came out the other two, probably two daughters of her in their early forties. The dickey of the taxi opened to find 3 large plastic shopping bags. 1 red. The other one yellow with "Bright Brothers" printed on it. They slowly took the bags, one filled with cheap plastic wear, one with some noodles packets and the other with make-up stuff. Three of them slowly went into the house making sure the door of the car is slowly closed to make space for them to enter the house. The door didn't close properly the first time so the taxi driver had to awkwardly put his right hand over his shoulder to close the back door by himself.

It was around 11:08pm tonight. Friday night shopping has become a custom for the people of Male' now.

T.A.G.G.E.D!!!

Finally I've been Tagged as well! Thanks all who tagged me.

A - Available?: Yeah baby,
B-Best friend: Jihattey and others
C-Cake or Pie?: Boakiba
D-Drink of choice: non-alcoholic vodka
E-Essential thing used everyday: Iloshifathi (very innovative broom)
F-Favourite colour: Purple
G-Gummi bears or worms: worms
H-Hometown: Paris, Hilton
I-Indulgence: What is the meaning of this?
J-January or February: April
K-Kids and names: Skyla (Gawd I love this name)
L-Life: is too short
M-Marriage date: When my boss says I am free
N-Number of siblings: Eight minus one :(
O-Oranges or apples: very rarely I get these. I'd prefer both
P-Phobias: fear of the world, and big shot people.
Q-Quote: Just do it!
R-Reason to smile: dream of getting a wave saikal
S-Season: salt and pepper
T-Tag three people: Nasheed (Kutti), Maldives Sex Stories, swytiepie
U-Unknown fact about me: I see dead people
V-Vegetable you do not like: I have to work very hard to get vegetables in Maldives
W-Worst habit: I don't smoke (very uncool in cafes)
X-x-rays you have had: never
Y-Your favorite food: roshi
Z-Zodiac: none