Raif is very busy

Rifle is his nick name. I'm talking about Raif. He's a busy man. Busiest man in Male'. Just like every other Malean. So busy with a quick temper. But he's a friend. I visited him today.

He was watching TV. Switching channels. He said 'Nothing good on this f**king TV, So many F**King channels, F**K Mesco and Cable net. What a monopoly". Just then his grandma said there's no onions in the kitchen for tomorrow.

Raif at once said 'Hello boys, we've got a job'. I went after him. He took out his high speed Wave motorcycle. I sat at the back. Woo Wooo, he raced. Honk Honk he tested his horn. He took off like a jet. I told him 'Raif, we don't need it so fast. There is 18 more hours before the onions were needed tomorrow.' But Raif did not listen. He says that if he doesn't go fast he'll not be there in time. I asked him what time? He did not reply.

And the traffic on Majeedi road was very slow. Raif made sure that he made good use of his loud horn. He gets so angry if even a kid crossing on the zebra crossing slowed him down. He goes 'Fucking B*lh*nthah'. If there is a taxi stopped to pick up an old person from the house a roads get blocked. Opportunity for people like Raif to use their horn. Peep Peep. They say that it's impossible to see Male' from NASA's space station. But they hear the sound of the horns of Wave cycles from up there.

Raif thinks that places in Male' are so far away. So he needs to speed up as much as possible to save time on transportation. Honks help to clear the paths for him. His house is near Central Hotel. He bought onions from the new Hyper Market in Male' Agora (just one block away). His cycle adventure is something that makes him feel busy in this town.

When Raif brought the onions home his wife was so happy. The End.

MDP's presidential candidate

Nowadays the hottest coffee story of Male' and in UK is who's the presidential candidate from MDP. MDP has kept it's candidate really secretive. Their argument is if they reveal the candidate too soon the government may copy it and present the same candidate as theirs. This goes to all their other policies as well. We people are to suffer. They say that they have better education plans, health care schemes, transport plans. But they do not want others to know.

It is like my friend Jabir from my island. He knows how to build rockets that can go back in time. But he do not want to build it because he thinks that others may copy.

Anyway many MDP people are not very happy about presenting Munavvaru and Zaki as the candidate. Because they both once were the most corrupt ministers of the current regime. People do not want to reward corruption and injustice by making them the next presidents.

Rumours say that MDP may support Dr. Hassan Saeed. But for me I am with Anni. He has said that he does not want to become the president. But he has done more work to reform than any one else. And he has a very presidential height.

Don't celebrate Maldives Republic Day (Nov 11.) Unless you support the dictator.

For 29 years. Same president. Illegally with a gun in his pocket he came to power on Nov 11 1978.

This is a very stable country. This is Maldives. White beaches. Blue skies. Green coconut palms. And one president. Very good for economy. No parties in the parliament. Foreign investors are welcome to invest. 50% goes to president and his family and cronies.

29 years has made him the richest person on earth. Along with Bhutan's king and some Arab Amirs Gayyoom is not listed on Forbes richest people because he's a ruler (dicktator) of a country.

Happy Birthday, Dick.

Riyaz is Sad. Because his skin is dark.

This is about my good friend Riyaz 33 years old. (Not the real name)

Riyaz has been a good friend of mine since grade 7. He has very beautiful skin. Very dark very manly. The kind of skin super models of America dies to get. But Riyaz is not happy. He is under a lot of pressure. Pressure began the day he was born. The first question his mother asked the Foolhumaa (mid-wife) was "Is he fair or dark?". Not that his parents loved him any less for being a dark skinned boy. Racism in that level is not considered as racism in this country. Day after day as Riyaz grew older different comments come to him regarding his skin color. Riyaz likes to swim. But his uncles and aunties would comment "If you go to the sea you will get dark". He likes fishing. But just like most in his generation he is not going fishing because the sun makes his skin too dark. And the comments he gets get worse.

When we were in grade 9 together Riyaz started to walk a bit different. When I asked why he explained. He was only walking in shades. He rides his bicycle faster in the sunny part and slower in the shade. Because there is a pressure around him which made an inner voice of him to speak to him "Riyattey, be fair. Bituns like fair boys. Beautiful is fair."

It is not just the pressure from within his family. These skin color comments come as very innocent ones mostly as jokes. These are not just for guys. It's worse for girls. Rarely a female Maldivian escapes the trap of putting 'Fair and Lovely' on their skin. The advertisers and the film industry does a good job on promoting these kind of ideas. (Shah Rukh promoting skin paling cream). Some girls I see on the street put so much white powder on their face that they look like dead ghosts. Some make-up on dhivehi film actresses make them look worse. But they had to do something. Because there is a unwritten social law here. "Dark skin is dirt". Black is not beautiful. It does not come as racism. It has nothing to do with race in this case. Racism also exists. But this skin color thing is beyond that. Its roots go beyond the Indian cast system influence or the barbaric British colonization of Maldives.

Now Riyaz has bought something called 'Fair and Handsome'. It's really expensive. But he feels that he's getting fairer now. Though he is married with three kids now he is still not happy about his skin color. But I have told him that even if he puts all the cream in the world his skin will be dark. And if it's ugly. I'm sorry. For me dark is beautiful.

Ministry of Maumoonuge Heesi and Culture

Today on the news we heard a lot of changes to the government. Apparently the proposed named for the information ministry was selected from a public contest. People submitted many names. Minister Rasheed's favorite did not pass. But the 2nd best name specially designed for Rasheed himself by Rasheed himself was selected.

We all wonder what would happen if the minister is changed. Or is he planning to stay as the minister for the next 100 years? But names of ministries change very quick here. It may not even last 1 month. And with the change hopefully Rasheed will stop defending the dictator. He's a good man after all. With a very presidential walk.