What is 350 and why is it in the Maldives?

Ever since I came back from my Oxford education from the greatest capital of Malaysia Desekiyara condominium I have been seeing a lot of things about 350. Everybody is talking about 350. 350 350 350. So I asked my science friend what it is. He is very scientific and from the science Association of Maldives and Malaysia (double degree holder). He says:

"350 is the number of carbondioxygen things in one million dollars of air particles. For every tourist dollar we spend, they bring 350 dollars of carbondioxygen from traveling from Europe, England and Japan every day. So unless we have a large format offset printer we will go under water in the next cabinet meeting." Dr. Spokesman for Science Ass. (not yet dr. but soon in the next 15 years will be dr.)

So it got all of my buddies thinking. What can we do on our wave cycles? So buddy Raittey says, why dont we drive our motorcycles 350 rounds around male' every day? Sounds like a good idea. So we are doing it now. non-stop. and on break we are talking a lot about environments and resort deal investments and non-alchoholic beer. Environment is very good. we have to save the earth in every way we can, even if it takes riding big motocycles. Because we get very famous with this kind of things. Being famous can save anyone anytime. This is very special scientific facts only scientists can think of.

So anyone wanna join our 350 rounds of motocycle rides around Male' for saving the world, join us on 24 octoboer 2009 near 1 number jetty. thank you very much.

Special thanks to 350.org, Scientists of Maldives and the cabinet in my kitchen.

Evolution of pickup transport in Maldives. A humble appeal to show care.

Strangest of the strange I have been seeing a very strange kind of pickup trucks these days. Sizes ranging from small to large. Each time I see these strange pickups I begin to wonder about the mechanics behind these advanced new heavy load vehicles. It is very useful for places like Fura Male'. With the credit crunch and the economic crisis globally and more noticeably locally these kinds of new vehicles are perhaps how the pickup trucks could best evolve.

With increased fuel prices the WaveRyders like me who fills up my Wave with five Rufiya of petrol each time just get me to go two rounds around Male' which is making us worry. The Wavers need to choose an alternative (with the same productivity as riding around Male'). Some like me might start to count the number of people passing by while I wait on top of my (borrowed) Wave in front of my house... well my boss's (or parent's?) house. Staying on the Wave in an awkward position playing with my phone (which I haven't recharged for few weeks). But I can still press the buttons. And take 0.3 Megapixel photos I will one day upload to a Flickr.

WaveRyders are less, the Taxi prices increase. What can the people do? Protest... nah... rather sit on the bike and play with the phone.. or sleep a bit longer... and do something to annoy the next person. Arrange a community shouting contest. Watch TV if possible forever.

Now back to the new pickup truck which has started to emerge when a certain group of people realized that the fuel or paying for the pickups is too expensive. They get a modified used pickup from a nearby country that can also do a lot more things. Their monthly installment price is very few Rupees or Dakaa. Cheap is good. These pickups are usually multi-owner based. Serve the owners, serve the friends, serve the neighbor same monthly installment.

Smaller versions have two wheels. Can carry two to four sacks of garbage bags (of the volume of a 50kg Hakuru Bastha each). The front can carry the volume of an empty Coast milk case full of garbage. Of cause when these filled with garbage are less heavy, but the pickup truck is a mechanical device it wouldn't complain if it becomes heavier. These breed of pickups just go to the instructed location and deliver them (mostly to the garbage dump).

Then there is the small version. This time with no wheels. The strangest of the strange I saw today the pickup crossing the zebra crossing when the green light for people were on! It was carrying a metal bed. Raised to the top of its two forklift arms. Obviously any onlooker would know that the forklift was overloaded and may collapse anytime. We just cracked a joke about it and we thought these are just mechanical vehicles that runs on the oldest technology of bio-fuel. The people we supposedly imitate used camels as pickups. Now we believe in evolution so we use what the bosses believe are animals from the neighboring nations for these kind of tasks. But they do have a passport, a name, a work permit, and sometimes a soul, a family, a father, a mother, a sister, children.

SAVE THEM! AND STOP ABUSING THEM. TREAT THEM AS THEY ARE OUR CHILDREN OUR PARENTS! THEM = US!

Riding towards Majeedhi Magu tonight

I had to slow down my Wave 100 on an average road of Male' leading to the central Majeedhi Magu. There were many Wave cycles parked on the right side parking zone at 20 to 50 degrees angle from the one stone pavements. On the other side along with Waves parked parallel to the road are pedestrians squeezing through between them and the ongoing traffic of Wave cycles, bigger cycles and taxi cars. The sports car look-alikes don't come into these roads because this economy is not what the drivers of these cars want to show themselves to. The road is crowded with very small houses of three floors on average. Each house appears unfinished, or not painted after Jumhoory 30 of 1998. Dusty and corroded but still with living people and pests inside. All houses are full. Some overflowing with people. People stay in front of the house wearing a 8080 Mundu (sarong), listening to AM Radio with an antenna or wearing a BodyGlove trousers (shirtless) talking on a Nokia 6300 perched on one of the parked Wave cycles that doesn't obviously belong to him. Or a teenage boy (with long sleeved shirt) holding a girl (wearing a midi and burugaa) in the shadows.

I had to slow down my Wave 100 because a taxi was slowing down just ahead of me. It finally stopped in front of a house almost the length of the taxi. The right door opened into the sitting room cum maids room of the house. Three ladies came out of the taxi. One wearing a baby blue Buruga with glittery silver stars on it. She had lipstick on her lips and a reasonable amount of red powder on her face. She looked the eldest (in her late 50s) of the three. Then came out the other two, probably two daughters of her in their early forties. The dickey of the taxi opened to find 3 large plastic shopping bags. 1 red. The other one yellow with "Bright Brothers" printed on it. They slowly took the bags, one filled with cheap plastic wear, one with some noodles packets and the other with make-up stuff. Three of them slowly went into the house making sure the door of the car is slowly closed to make space for them to enter the house. The door didn't close properly the first time so the taxi driver had to awkwardly put his right hand over his shoulder to close the back door by himself.

It was around 11:08pm tonight. Friday night shopping has become a custom for the people of Male' now.

Hassaney is getting married to Reyshma with small boobs

A tiring week for me. A friend of a friend is planning to get married. His name is Hassaney.

Who is Hassaney:
Hassaney has a Honda Eliminator 250 Hp motor cycle with two engine silencers. He rides his motor cycle (Saiku) as fast as he can on the busiest highways of Male'. A lot of girls like his Saiku which is also nicknamed Devil. Hassaney chooses girls with large b(.)(.)bs to go for rides on his Devil. These girls keep their b(.)(.)bs firmly pressed against Hassaneys burakashi as Hassaney races all his adrenaline out of him. Girls hold him as tight as they can and the faster he races the tighter they hold on. Hassaney's Devil is really Kaamiyaabu. The Devil is one of the badi-est in Male'.

Who is Hassaney's wife to be:
Her name is Reyshma. She wears glasses. I used to see her going to school with a pile of books covering her almost non-existent b..bs. She never looks at others. Straight from her house to school. If at night accompanied by her brother. She also wears a buruga. She's a homely girl. Hassaney wants to make her his wife. Because Hassaney is sure that Reyshma will stay at home reading the latest story books of Nahla and watching the latest Nahla's films while Hassaney races on the Devil with b(.)(.)bs. And not surprisingly Reyshma has not yet have had the privilege to ride the Devil. (probably she'll never have).

The Room:
Hassaney lives with his extended family consisting of 3 couples and 5 children plus the grandma and grandpa (Hassaney's mom and dad). The house is not small but not big either. It's about 850 sq feet. Each of the married members of the family has somehow managed to squeeze a room of space into this 850sq feet. It's magical. Hassaney's going to be the 5th room in the house. A part of the kitchen and a potion from his brother's toilet was taken for Hassaney's room. Sitting room of the house is already taken for a previously wedded brother. Hassaney's room is in an awkward shape.

This year is Hassaney's year. Hassaney wants the best room for him and his Reyshma. A bedroom set is a must. Hassaney borrowed money from all his family, friends and friend's friends to buy the best bedroom set from Parkway Furniture (a Goldenlane shop). He has managed to ignore the payments for his Devil motorcycle for years.

I was involved in constructing the room for him. I was among the few who helped paint his room. Purple color with a brownish pattern. Paint is bought from A.H Brothers. Hassaney also bought a mini-bar fridge for his room. We are going to put the King size bed in his room tomorrow. Tonight Hassaney has to decided whether to alter the bed or move the dressing table to the toilet. The aircond people will come tomorrow as well.

And then comes the wedding party preparation! Hassaney is a lucky man.

Riyaz is Sad. Because his skin is dark.

This is about my good friend Riyaz 33 years old. (Not the real name)

Riyaz has been a good friend of mine since grade 7. He has very beautiful skin. Very dark very manly. The kind of skin super models of America dies to get. But Riyaz is not happy. He is under a lot of pressure. Pressure began the day he was born. The first question his mother asked the Foolhumaa (mid-wife) was "Is he fair or dark?". Not that his parents loved him any less for being a dark skinned boy. Racism in that level is not considered as racism in this country. Day after day as Riyaz grew older different comments come to him regarding his skin color. Riyaz likes to swim. But his uncles and aunties would comment "If you go to the sea you will get dark". He likes fishing. But just like most in his generation he is not going fishing because the sun makes his skin too dark. And the comments he gets get worse.

When we were in grade 9 together Riyaz started to walk a bit different. When I asked why he explained. He was only walking in shades. He rides his bicycle faster in the sunny part and slower in the shade. Because there is a pressure around him which made an inner voice of him to speak to him "Riyattey, be fair. Bituns like fair boys. Beautiful is fair."

It is not just the pressure from within his family. These skin color comments come as very innocent ones mostly as jokes. These are not just for guys. It's worse for girls. Rarely a female Maldivian escapes the trap of putting 'Fair and Lovely' on their skin. The advertisers and the film industry does a good job on promoting these kind of ideas. (Shah Rukh promoting skin paling cream). Some girls I see on the street put so much white powder on their face that they look like dead ghosts. Some make-up on dhivehi film actresses make them look worse. But they had to do something. Because there is a unwritten social law here. "Dark skin is dirt". Black is not beautiful. It does not come as racism. It has nothing to do with race in this case. Racism also exists. But this skin color thing is beyond that. Its roots go beyond the Indian cast system influence or the barbaric British colonization of Maldives.

Now Riyaz has bought something called 'Fair and Handsome'. It's really expensive. But he feels that he's getting fairer now. Though he is married with three kids now he is still not happy about his skin color. But I have told him that even if he puts all the cream in the world his skin will be dark. And if it's ugly. I'm sorry. For me dark is beautiful.

Male' Jihad living on 2.5th floor with a cupboard bedroom

Surprise Surprise! Today I was at Juway's Cafe and I met my friend Jihad (Jihattey) who is a assistant to the junior accountant grade B in a big company in Male'. Jihattey was very happy and said he's married and now living in his own apartment. Jihattey invited me to his apartment to meet his wife.

Jihattey's Bajaj scooter was very quick to take us to his apartment in Kuda Henveiru. It was a house I used to go. But from the outside it looked a little taller. We went in. The house would have been no bigger than a typical Boakosha Kada (hair saloon) in Male'. About 12ft by 12ft.

The downstairs is the saloon. The hair artist with posters of Tamil film stars design the Maldivians hair to look cool. The first floor was used by the family of the house. We climbed to there on a ladder. The family of 8 lives there with some of their in-laws. Then comes Jihattey's floor. Another ladder we climbed up.

First thing i noticed is that the floor height is a bit low. It ' look odd to my friend Jihattey because Jihattey and Maumoon are just about the same height. But Jihattey's wife who introduced herself to me as Zulfa lives there a bit bended over. Zulfa says she's very happy with Jihattey and to my surprise she invited me to a surprise party she's planning to have there tonight. Zulfa is very busy preparing cakes and things.

I got more surpized with Jihattey when he showed me their maid who came out of a cupboard. Their maid lives in the cupboard. Jihattey says the maid makes things easy for Zulfa and the maid is from Bangladesh.

Now Jihattey is saving to buy an air-corn and a sports car to make Zulfa happy.

Raajtey and Meenaxi

Raajendhar Kumar is the name of the new person my boss brought to our house. He is from India. He is very strong and hardworking. He speaks Hindhee but not as fluent as me. I learned Hindhee from Amitab Bacchan and Jaya Prada. He will take over some of the work I do at home. I showed him how to Valhudhiya hikka today. He was very amazed to see how shallow our well was. He says that in India the wells he Valhudhiya hikka was over one Kilo Meter per hour deep.

His friends in India call him Raaj. We call him Raajtey. He's a very friendly guy. He is married. He showed me a picture of him with his wife. Her name is Meenaxi. They looked very happy together. Raajtey said that he is a prince from his village. And the first person to get out of India. He said the whole village contributed the money to pay for the agent.

He stayed in Seedhee's house first in Male'. Raajtey said Seedhee is a good man. Raajtey had to do all the things in that house. Everything Seedhee says and everything Seedhee's two wives say, everything Seedhee's 6 children and their husbands, wives and children say. And also everything their friends say and everything the Dhivehi servant of that house say.

So Raajtey was exhausted. And one day Raajtey left the house. And started working much less for much more money for a construction group. Then all sort of problems were caused by Seedhee's children. Raajtey was almost deported forever. All the money of his poor village people were going to go wasted. They expected something back from their prince. My boss saw Raajtey's sufferings and with his connections he brought Raajtey to our house. My boss is trying to send Raajtey to a haassa class to teach him English and Maths. But he has found no place willing to admit a Raajtey yet.

I like Raajtey. He's younger than me. He's 22 years old.