A Burugaa for Hajja

Hajja wants me to make a dress for her to wear on for the Alha-Eid ceremony (Muslim Halloween) after Hajj (not to be confused with sexy Hajja). Hajja wears burugaa and very tight long sleeved t-shirts and a summer dress with a bra won top of that. she wears jeans fitting her butt and legs like a butt-glove.

I proposed for her to take a naked picture of her and print it on the t-shirt she wears. Printed boobs matching her real. This would qualify as a cover for her large bosoms. And then to buy a wig from Watsons of Male' (Fresh Air Shop) and wear it over her head. Our local Mulla sheikh says it will fulfill the Burugaa Commandment. Tomorrow our friend photo Jihattey is coming to take the naked pics of her. And we have bought T-shirt transfer paper to print it. If anyone wanna join drop by our studio, preferably naked.

We will take DRP and Maumoon to justice: We have not forgiven him. We will not obey Anni.

DRP
A party formed by dictator Maumoon Abdul Gayyoom. DRP's values are to support corruption, torture and killing anyone who speaks against them. Anyone who supported the party by will is supporting a system against humanity.

Like most Maldivians, I myself have gone through the bitter side of the regime, in many occasions than just one. I do not want to forgive him. I will take the regime and all who supported this to an independent court. I will make sure that they get the punishment they deserve. This is very important to avoid our country going back to a dictatorship.

There are valid cases with proof for all top level DRP members. We will take you to the independent court that will be established. And we will expose all you have done. We will not let you live free! You fucking assholes. You have abused your power and committed atrocities taking advantage of the poor people. It is people's rule now. We will not let DRP exist any more. DRP is a party running against all democratic values. In a democracy there is no place for DRP!. So be prepared to defend yourselves with big Bangladeshi lawyers. We will go after the money you stole from us. We will make sure to keep you busy for few years to come with cases against you.

And President Anni: this is not your business. Now that there is separation of powers you cannot interfere with the course of justice. And if you do, we will bring you down instantly.

SMS greetings are for lonely uptight old fashioned sissy loonies

Today I received few sms-cards from my friends from my atoll and Azeez and Family who moved to Trivendrapur after renting his Male' wife's bedroom and toilet to a flock of Banglish.

Sms-cards were almost fashionable long before mobile phones (pre-paid one-way) in this country exceeded the population. But now my coffee mates think that sending sms-cards and e-cards and things are too sissy and out of style. Well, they say that only lonely people who has nothing better to do sends these. Well it seems that nowadays a lot of people are like that.

Specially on meaningless fake occasions like independence days. If you are one of those loony people and non of your friends actually remembers you, you are probably counting days for these kind of opportunities and spend few Rufiyaas on mass smses. And you are lucky if any one of them reply, except for another lonely bored person, or out of sympathy. And you wait for another occasion impatiently. So lonely.

Now check your phone and run through the people who sends you these numbers. These are really sad and lonely people.

And on this day I have just one message. Do not re-elect the dick.

mOscar awards 2008 (Maldives)

Baftas, Oscars, Crystals and Moscas. In slightly less expensive cafes everyone is talking about awards. In the last 4 months this country has held 3 film festivals with 3 award ceremonies. Mollywood industry which produces less than 2 feature films on average a year holds an award ceremony every other month. About 150 people work in this industry who need constant reminding of how great their work is. According to industry sources each of these ceremonies costs about 10 times the budget of a typical Maldivian film. And 2 times the budget of the most expensive Dhivehi movie made in the past 10 years.

A year, 2 movies, 3 awards shows. Half a million Ruffiyaa for each of the shows. Note: this is excluding Hotel and transport charges.

The latest show was held at Dharubaaruge and the participants were invited to stay in Male' at Nalahiya Hotel for the ceremony. They were offered to stay in the lobby free of charge for 30 minutes (from 8:00 to 8:30pm). They can use free toilets and were served with Taza mineral water at this time. Taxis were washed and turned into limos by placing a sticker on the number plate and on top of the word "Taxi". Everyone was greeted well at Dharubaaruge which hosted the latest of the awards. Government owned newspaper Miadhu and lots of government related businesses sponsored the event. The actors danced with the sponsor's name boards at the end of the show. Sponsors were made very happy looking at their bodies move with the brand logos.

I am happy to have watched all 3 shows live on MTV.

Riding towards Majeedhi Magu tonight

I had to slow down my Wave 100 on an average road of Male' leading to the central Majeedhi Magu. There were many Wave cycles parked on the right side parking zone at 20 to 50 degrees angle from the one stone pavements. On the other side along with Waves parked parallel to the road are pedestrians squeezing through between them and the ongoing traffic of Wave cycles, bigger cycles and taxi cars. The sports car look-alikes don't come into these roads because this economy is not what the drivers of these cars want to show themselves to. The road is crowded with very small houses of three floors on average. Each house appears unfinished, or not painted after Jumhoory 30 of 1998. Dusty and corroded but still with living people and pests inside. All houses are full. Some overflowing with people. People stay in front of the house wearing a 8080 Mundu (sarong), listening to AM Radio with an antenna or wearing a BodyGlove trousers (shirtless) talking on a Nokia 6300 perched on one of the parked Wave cycles that doesn't obviously belong to him. Or a teenage boy (with long sleeved shirt) holding a girl (wearing a midi and burugaa) in the shadows.

I had to slow down my Wave 100 because a taxi was slowing down just ahead of me. It finally stopped in front of a house almost the length of the taxi. The right door opened into the sitting room cum maids room of the house. Three ladies came out of the taxi. One wearing a baby blue Buruga with glittery silver stars on it. She had lipstick on her lips and a reasonable amount of red powder on her face. She looked the eldest (in her late 50s) of the three. Then came out the other two, probably two daughters of her in their early forties. The dickey of the taxi opened to find 3 large plastic shopping bags. 1 red. The other one yellow with "Bright Brothers" printed on it. They slowly took the bags, one filled with cheap plastic wear, one with some noodles packets and the other with make-up stuff. Three of them slowly went into the house making sure the door of the car is slowly closed to make space for them to enter the house. The door didn't close properly the first time so the taxi driver had to awkwardly put his right hand over his shoulder to close the back door by himself.

It was around 11:08pm tonight. Friday night shopping has become a custom for the people of Male' now.

Hassaney is getting married to Reyshma with small boobs

A tiring week for me. A friend of a friend is planning to get married. His name is Hassaney.

Who is Hassaney:
Hassaney has a Honda Eliminator 250 Hp motor cycle with two engine silencers. He rides his motor cycle (Saiku) as fast as he can on the busiest highways of Male'. A lot of girls like his Saiku which is also nicknamed Devil. Hassaney chooses girls with large b(.)(.)bs to go for rides on his Devil. These girls keep their b(.)(.)bs firmly pressed against Hassaneys burakashi as Hassaney races all his adrenaline out of him. Girls hold him as tight as they can and the faster he races the tighter they hold on. Hassaney's Devil is really Kaamiyaabu. The Devil is one of the badi-est in Male'.

Who is Hassaney's wife to be:
Her name is Reyshma. She wears glasses. I used to see her going to school with a pile of books covering her almost non-existent b..bs. She never looks at others. Straight from her house to school. If at night accompanied by her brother. She also wears a buruga. She's a homely girl. Hassaney wants to make her his wife. Because Hassaney is sure that Reyshma will stay at home reading the latest story books of Nahla and watching the latest Nahla's films while Hassaney races on the Devil with b(.)(.)bs. And not surprisingly Reyshma has not yet have had the privilege to ride the Devil. (probably she'll never have).

The Room:
Hassaney lives with his extended family consisting of 3 couples and 5 children plus the grandma and grandpa (Hassaney's mom and dad). The house is not small but not big either. It's about 850 sq feet. Each of the married members of the family has somehow managed to squeeze a room of space into this 850sq feet. It's magical. Hassaney's going to be the 5th room in the house. A part of the kitchen and a potion from his brother's toilet was taken for Hassaney's room. Sitting room of the house is already taken for a previously wedded brother. Hassaney's room is in an awkward shape.

This year is Hassaney's year. Hassaney wants the best room for him and his Reyshma. A bedroom set is a must. Hassaney borrowed money from all his family, friends and friend's friends to buy the best bedroom set from Parkway Furniture (a Goldenlane shop). He has managed to ignore the payments for his Devil motorcycle for years.

I was involved in constructing the room for him. I was among the few who helped paint his room. Purple color with a brownish pattern. Paint is bought from A.H Brothers. Hassaney also bought a mini-bar fridge for his room. We are going to put the King size bed in his room tomorrow. Tonight Hassaney has to decided whether to alter the bed or move the dressing table to the toilet. The aircond people will come tomorrow as well.

And then comes the wedding party preparation! Hassaney is a lucky man.

Get the mother fucking Golha out

Today I'm very angry. Everywhere I look I see failure. From my part and from others. A failed fucking state. A failed system. The system of Golha. This sick old fuck Golha has been fucking us since I was born. Raping our children's future. We are just letting him slowly fuck all our mothers and fathers and children. What a fucked up fucking nation we are.

Golha is fucking us slowly and painfully. Tied our hands behind our body, dragging us down the street, red tape on our mouth and we cannot scream. We are drugged and injected with painkillers. Our minds numbed. Pain becomes pleasure. Continues raping our future. This sick fucking Golha.

Harder... Harder... we cried. we are fucking letting him dictate his exit path. Gave him all the fucking time he wants. So powerful and strong over us. Fucking so hard as if we have never been fucked up so hard. Let him fucking drain all what is left of us before he fucks himself. Get the Golha out. Out of our tight asses.