Zakir Nayak and Kal Nayak is from India!

Here's for the ladies revealing Cholhike Piese by Nayak (not a PhD Doctor).

Journey to meet Dhon Adhambe - Part 1

Thursday morning 7:38am captan Abdullabe started the engine and my journey begins on this small but beautiful dhoni which is destined to reach Baa Atoll, my destination. I played thaas (cards) with my friend Haneef, Abdusattar, and Ibu on the 8 hour boat trip which we stopped for lunch cooked by the boys of Kappi and for Haneef to pray facing Mecca the Qibla.

Today is a hot day and the sea is very calm and almost not windy. This made me thirsty a lot. we fulfilled our thirst with coca-cola by Universal Enterprises and Resorts Pvt Ltd and aquafresh water by the same coke company served in silver bottles named Bon aqua very fresh.

At 16:14 I was on the island with my two modern backpack filled with 3 shorts, 6 t-shirts (branded) and 1 long jeans (Denim). After keeping the stuff at the house I went to meet Hassan and Kareem who were playing football on the dhandu. I joined in and few runs and I was dead tired and sweaty. But it was very nice experience. All the girls wearing burugaas are looking at my shorts. wow.

At six o-clock I went into the gifili (a room with a well known as a valhu) and I put the dhaani (a stick joined to a large coast milk can) inside the well and fill it up with water. Poured it on my head with cold water of the island. It was so araamu. Each drop of water touched my skin with a sensation that I wished to last forever. The dhaani filled with islandy cold water pouring onto my head cleaning the accumulated salty heat of the trip of my whole life. I felt like this is honestly the most satisfactory experience a person can ever have in an island. Meditative, dark, no sound except the sound of waves and an occasional bird flying with nature, and a giggle behind the coral walls of my gifili, my meditation garden of delight. I repeatedly did the dhaani movement up an down, up and down over my head until I reach the movement of no return and then I let go as pure white coming out of the shower. I dressed well and came to my folding bed (faijehi endhu) and nothing, nothing has changed in this island in the past 800 or so years since it was populated first by the settlers from Sri Lanka, except may be my iphone 3Gs and the Wataniya signal that enabled me to write this blog entry. I sleep now and good night.

Islamic Ministry should ban Islamic Ministry

Islamic Ministry is becoming notorious for banning and abolishing things in the Maldives. The reasons are usually 'complains' from the public. Who the fuck is this Islamic public who complains about everything on earth? Why don't they stay at home and own their own business. What if the wives of this so called Islamic community starts complaining about domestic violence and sexual abuse?

Islamic Ministry should start counseling sessions now, first starting from themselves first. Practice what you believe without forcing others to do as you wish. Without getting into the freedom of others. Now some might say that it is what your God intends, but remember majority of this world don't believe in your God, or your religion, and don't give a fuck.

Magical mystery Maldivians during election

Abbas was a poor man. His house was lit by one Kerosene lamp. Abbas does his toilet in the sea outside the walls of Fura Male'.

On day after having a sip from fermented coconut (wine) on one of his near the sea sessions to fetch shells, he found a glowing stone. He picked it up and hid under his striped sarong. At night near the Kerosene lamp Abbas stroked the glowing stone with his right hand and out came some smoke and a huge Jinni.

"Master, Master Thank you so much. I have been trapped in here for a 1000 years. Only you can free me out of this, and I will grant you 3 wishes."

Topless Abbass was overwhelmed and puzzled. He was not a believer of Jinns as such, but this is happening in front of him. The Jinni was growing even larger. Abbass got more scared.

"Abbass, my dear. You don't have to be scared. My name is Gayyoom. Hayul Gayyoom al Azhar. I have only one demand from you. To set me free."

Abbass still not in his senses, and covering his face with his not so clean sarong was now trying to get his brain to work. He was thinking like an "inventor". He wants to steal a machine. A machine from Nasir.

Jinni Gayyoom was not expecting a wish like this. But decided to grant this wish on one condition that, Abbass gives his sister to marry the Jinni. The deal is done. Jinni was freed. It shrunk back to his normal short size, flew to Azhar, his home town, with Abbas's sister and a bunch of nighties.

The machine:
Nasir, undoubtedly a much better inventor than Thomas Edition and Ibn Sina combined, had been working on the greatest invention of all time. This is better than his radio, he himself tuned from inside of his own house.

The people making machine. This machine can create people. Nasir is a great thinker. He knew that the most disadvantage of the country was due to it's small population and lack of land. So Nasir's mission was to make a machine to produce a lot of people, and then another machine to produce a lot of land. (He succeeded: he moved to England).

Jinn stole Nasir's people making machine for Abbas. Abbas now pressed all the buttons and turned all the knobs. And wow! "Dhoonithah... Dhoonithah... Ma govaigen dhaashe" he said! it was a bunch of people. All sizes and shapes. He killed the first batch of 1,000 people. Then he made more sophisticated adjustment and wooosh came another batch. Much better.

With this technique he was able to adjust the election results for ages. And one thing ruthless Abbas made sure he did was that to kill all the people who he produced when the elections are over. Well, except for the few of the dumbest, which the elitists can use as subservient slaves to work for them in their businesses and at home.

In the year 2008, things changed. Abbas accidently left his machine unlocked, and Nasheed got hold of it. Nasheed the champion of democracy and who holds such titles as Asia's Obama, and Galolhu's Mugabe got to use this machine. But Nasheed is more cowardly than the ruthless Abbas. Nasheed does not kill the people he produces. And look now. The whole Maldives if filled up.

And also Nasheed plays with the machine too much, when ever he gets a call from a Dhaaria doing too bad, me makes tons of more people and sends them off. Democracy machine is now in his hand... and Maldives is polluted with all these. There is no wall without a group of these person tiled up in a crooked grid. There's no where that you don't here these people screaming senseless speeches. The freed jinni should have been trapped forever.

We will take DRP and Maumoon to justice: We have not forgiven him. We will not obey Anni.

DRP
A party formed by dictator Maumoon Abdul Gayyoom. DRP's values are to support corruption, torture and killing anyone who speaks against them. Anyone who supported the party by will is supporting a system against humanity.

Like most Maldivians, I myself have gone through the bitter side of the regime, in many occasions than just one. I do not want to forgive him. I will take the regime and all who supported this to an independent court. I will make sure that they get the punishment they deserve. This is very important to avoid our country going back to a dictatorship.

There are valid cases with proof for all top level DRP members. We will take you to the independent court that will be established. And we will expose all you have done. We will not let you live free! You fucking assholes. You have abused your power and committed atrocities taking advantage of the poor people. It is people's rule now. We will not let DRP exist any more. DRP is a party running against all democratic values. In a democracy there is no place for DRP!. So be prepared to defend yourselves with big Bangladeshi lawyers. We will go after the money you stole from us. We will make sure to keep you busy for few years to come with cases against you.

And President Anni: this is not your business. Now that there is separation of powers you cannot interfere with the course of justice. And if you do, we will bring you down instantly.

If all candidates sucks, don't wait at home: Vote Invalid

This is part of Invalid Vote campaign:
Adheel (a very philosophical bugger) and I were talking siyaasee last night. Adheel asked me who i am voting. I said I am voting Anni. He asked me why, I said Anni is not perfect. He has a lot of bad qualities like putting his relatives in MDP things, and being very dictatorial, and being too fake these days trying to pretend to be Maumoon. MDP has maumoonist corrupt people in the party, like Ibrahim Hussain Zaki who has eaten millions of tourism dollars. But why I choose Anni is he is by far much much better than the rest of the jerks. Gasim, an idiot, only good for a comedian, Hassan is more maumoonist than even maumoon himself and Maumoon surely the dictator has who to be taken out. The other three have no chance of getting more than 5% of the votes combined, so weak and so useless.

And Adheel said "so you are voting Anni because you have no better choice" and I said yeah. Here comes Mr. Adheel's idea:


If all candidates are terrible, don't wait at home without voting, it'll only make an idiot win. Instead do an invalid vote! Staying home will not make your voice count in the result, but if you bother to show up and vote a cross for all candidates, it'll be counted as an invalid vote, and you have made a statement. All candidates Suck.


With this Adheel has made me re-think my choice.