a careless whisper to ishan

repeating careless whisper on my walkman on my bed feeling hurt… before i know the meaning of hurt is. on the bed feeling how hurt this man is hanging on a rope singing about a whisper of a good friend. he sure is never gonna dance again. but it's easy to pretend. he's got a wasted chance to dance. but he's never gonna dance like he danced with you. on a bed of roses hurt by the thorns. the music seems so long tonight. she's flying off on a jet. please stay.

Magical mystery Maldivians during election

Abbas was a poor man. His house was lit by one Kerosene lamp. Abbas does his toilet in the sea outside the walls of Fura Male'.

On day after having a sip from fermented coconut (wine) on one of his near the sea sessions to fetch shells, he found a glowing stone. He picked it up and hid under his striped sarong. At night near the Kerosene lamp Abbas stroked the glowing stone with his right hand and out came some smoke and a huge Jinni.

"Master, Master Thank you so much. I have been trapped in here for a 1000 years. Only you can free me out of this, and I will grant you 3 wishes."

Topless Abbass was overwhelmed and puzzled. He was not a believer of Jinns as such, but this is happening in front of him. The Jinni was growing even larger. Abbass got more scared.

"Abbass, my dear. You don't have to be scared. My name is Gayyoom. Hayul Gayyoom al Azhar. I have only one demand from you. To set me free."

Abbass still not in his senses, and covering his face with his not so clean sarong was now trying to get his brain to work. He was thinking like an "inventor". He wants to steal a machine. A machine from Nasir.

Jinni Gayyoom was not expecting a wish like this. But decided to grant this wish on one condition that, Abbass gives his sister to marry the Jinni. The deal is done. Jinni was freed. It shrunk back to his normal short size, flew to Azhar, his home town, with Abbas's sister and a bunch of nighties.

The machine:
Nasir, undoubtedly a much better inventor than Thomas Edition and Ibn Sina combined, had been working on the greatest invention of all time. This is better than his radio, he himself tuned from inside of his own house.

The people making machine. This machine can create people. Nasir is a great thinker. He knew that the most disadvantage of the country was due to it's small population and lack of land. So Nasir's mission was to make a machine to produce a lot of people, and then another machine to produce a lot of land. (He succeeded: he moved to England).

Jinn stole Nasir's people making machine for Abbas. Abbas now pressed all the buttons and turned all the knobs. And wow! "Dhoonithah... Dhoonithah... Ma govaigen dhaashe" he said! it was a bunch of people. All sizes and shapes. He killed the first batch of 1,000 people. Then he made more sophisticated adjustment and wooosh came another batch. Much better.

With this technique he was able to adjust the election results for ages. And one thing ruthless Abbas made sure he did was that to kill all the people who he produced when the elections are over. Well, except for the few of the dumbest, which the elitists can use as subservient slaves to work for them in their businesses and at home.

In the year 2008, things changed. Abbas accidently left his machine unlocked, and Nasheed got hold of it. Nasheed the champion of democracy and who holds such titles as Asia's Obama, and Galolhu's Mugabe got to use this machine. But Nasheed is more cowardly than the ruthless Abbas. Nasheed does not kill the people he produces. And look now. The whole Maldives if filled up.

And also Nasheed plays with the machine too much, when ever he gets a call from a Dhaaria doing too bad, me makes tons of more people and sends them off. Democracy machine is now in his hand... and Maldives is polluted with all these. There is no wall without a group of these person tiled up in a crooked grid. There's no where that you don't here these people screaming senseless speeches. The freed jinni should have been trapped forever.

Himeyn Inglaab: Advanced advice from University of Oxford, Baazaru Branch

މީގެދުވަސްކޮޅެށް‮ ‬ކުރިން‮ ‬އިންޓަރނެޓަށް‮ ‬އުފަންވި‮ ‬އެންމެ‮ ‬މޮޅު‮ ‬ބުލޮގަކީ‮ ‬ޝައްކެއްވެސް‮ ‬ނެތްގޮތުގައި‮ ‬ހިމޭންއިންގިލާބެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬އޭގެފަހަތުގައި‮ ‬ބައިވަރުސަބަބު‮ތަކާއިހެދި‮ ‬ފޮރުވިފައިވާ‮ ‬މުޅިދުނިޔޭންވެސް‮
‬އެންމެމޮޅު‮ ‬ކިޔަވާއިގެންތިބި‮ ‬ސައެންޓިސްޓުން‮ ‬މަސައްކަތްކުރެއެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬ތިރީގައިމިވަނީ‮ ‬ހިމޭން‮ ‬އިންގިލާބަށް‮ ޑީއެސްގެ‮ ‬މޮޅު‮ ‬ޓީމުން‮ ‬ހިލޭ‮ ‬އަރުވާ‮ ވަރަށް‬މޮޅު‮ ‬އިރުސާދުކުޅެކެވެ‮.‬‮‬‮ ‬ކުރިޔައްއޮތް‮ ‬ފަނަރަދުވަހުގެ‮ ‬ތެރޭގައި‮ ‬މިގޮތަށް‮ ‬ހިމޭން‮ ‬އިންގިލާބު‮ ‬ބަދަލުނުކޮށްފިނަމަ‮ ‬މުޅިސައިޓު‮ ‬ހިމޭން‮ ‬ކަމުގެ‮ ‬ތެރެޔައް‮ ‬ގެއްލި‮ ‬ގޮސް‮ ‬ހުސްވެދާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓުގެ‮ ކުލަ‮ ‬ފިޔާތޮއްޓަށް‮ ‬ބަދަލުކުރުނ‮ް‮‮.‬‮ ‬ހާއްސަކޮށް‮ ‬ލިޔެފައިވާ‮ ‬ލިޔުންތަކުގެ‮ ‬ކުލަ‮.‬‮ ‬ފިޔާތޮށިކުލަޔަކީ‮ ‬ނިކަން‮ ‬ލޯބިކުލަޔެކެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬މިކުލަލާފައިވާ‮ ‬ސައިޓުތަކުގ‮ެ‮ ‬ފެންވަރު‮ މަތިވާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓަށްވަންނަތަނާ‮ ‬ލަވަޔެއްގެ‮ ‬އަޑުއިވުން‮.‬‮ ‬ބްރިޓްނީ‮ ‬ސްޕިއަރސް‮ ‬އަދި‮ ‬ބްރިޓްނީ‮ ‬މާރފީގެ‮ ‬ލަވަތައް ‬އޮޓޮމެޓިކުން‮ ‬ކުޅެވޭ‮ ‬ޕްލެޔަރެއް‮ ‮ ‬ވަރަށްމުހިއްމުއެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬މިސާލަކަށް‮ ‬މައިސްޕޭސް‮ ‬ފަދަ‮ ‬ދުނިޔެގަބޫލުކުރާ‮ ‬ސައިޓުތަކުގައި‮ ‬މިފީޗާރގެ‮ ‬މުހިއްމުކަން‮ ‬ފާހަގަކޮއްލެވެއެވެ‮.‬

ރެސިޕީ‮ ‬ސެކްޝަނެއް‮ ‬ހެދުން‮.‬‮ ‬މިކަމުންދޭހަވަނީ‮ ‬ސައިޓުގެ‮ ‬ދުރުވިސްނޭކަމެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬ކުރިޔައްއޮތ‮ް‮ ‬ދިހަވަރަކަށް‮ ‬މަސްތެރޭގައި‮ ‬ރޯދަމަސް‮ ‬އެބައާދެއެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬އަދި‮ ‬ދުރާލާ‮ ‬ރެސިޕީތައް‮ ‬ބަލަން‮ ‬ސައިޓުބަލާމީހުނަށް‮ ‬ހިތްވަރުދިނުން‮ ‬އެއީ‮ ‬މޮޅުކަމެކެވެ‮.‬‮

ލިޔުންތަކުގެ‮ ‬ތެރޭގައި‮ ‬ބޭރުގެ‮ ‮ ‬މޮޅެތި‮ ‬ލިޔުންތެރީންނާއި‮ ‬ފާޑުފާޑުގެ‮ ‬ޑޮކްޓަރުން‮ ‬ކޮއްފާއިވާދިރާސާތަކަށް‮ ‬މިހާރަށްވުރެން‮ ‬ބޮޑަށްބައްލަވާ‮ ‬ރިފަރަންސް‮ ‬ޖެއްސެވުން‮.‬‮ ‬ހާއްސަކޮށް‮ ‬ސައެންސު‮ ‬ޖާރނަލްތަކަށް‮ ‬އަލިއަޅުވާލެވިދާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓުގެ‮ ‬މަތީކަނުގައި‮ ‬ހަތަރުފޫޓު‮ ‮ ‬އައްފޫޓުގެ‮ ‬ފާހަނާއެއް‮ ‬ހަރުކުރުން‮ ‬ވަރަށްމުހިއްމެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬މިފާހަނާގައި‮ ‬ތިރިފާހަނާތައްޓަކާއި‮ ‬މޫނުދޮންނަތައްޓެއް‮ ‬ބަހައްޓަން‮ ‬ވާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓުގައި‮ ‬ޖޯކު‮ ‬ކެޓަގަރީއެއް‮ ‬އުފައްދާ،‮ ‬މިހާރުހުރި‮‮ ‬ހުރިހާ ‬އާރޓިކަލްތައް‮ ‬އެތަނަށް‮ ‬އެޅުން.‬

ސައިޓުގައި‮ ‬ހައިކޯޓަކާ،‮ ‬ސުޕުރީމްކޯޓަކާ‮ ‬ގާޒިޔަކާ‮ ‬ފޮރިން‮ ‬މިނިސްޓަރަކާ،‮ ‬ޖަސްޓިސްމިނިސްޓަރަކާ‮ ‬އެޑްވައިޒަރެއް‮ ‬ހަރުކުރުން‮.‬‮ ‬މިކަން‮ ‬މޭކް‮ ‬ޕުވާރޓީ‮ ‬ހިސްޓްރީ‮ ‬ބެނޭފަދައިނ‮ ‬ކުރެވިދާނެއެވެ‮.‬

ސައިޓުގެ‮ ‬މައިގަނޑު‮ ‬ކޮންޓެންޓް‮ ‬އެޑިޓޯރިއަލް‮ ‬ކައުންސިލަކުން‮ ‬އުފައްދާއެޑިޓްކުރުން‮.‬‮ ‬އެޑިޓޯރިއަލް‮ ‬ކައުންސިލާއި‮ ‬ގަވަނިގް‮ ‬ޕާރޓީ‮ ‬އޮފް‮ ‬ދަ‮ ‬ހިމޭން‮ ‬ރެވެލޯޝަން‮ ‬ހޮވާނީ ‮ ‬އަހަރަކު‮ ‬އެއްފަހަރު‮ ‬އިލެކްޝަންސް‮ ‬ކޮމިޝަނުން ‬މުޅިދުނިޔޭން‮ ‬އެންމެމޮޅުމީހުން‮ ‬ކޮޅުގެތެރޭގައި‮ ‬ބާއް‮ވާ ‬އިންތިހާބަކަށްފަހު‮.‬

ޖޫސް‮ ‬އަދި‮ ‬ސަރުބަތު‮ ‬މީރުކޮށް‮ ‬ގިރަން‮ ‬އެގުން‮.‬

ބަޖިޔާ‮.‬

ފާރިޝް‮ ‬ވެރިކަމަށް‮ ގެންނަންއުޅެނީޔޭކިޔައިގެނ‮ް‮ ‬ދަމާފައިވާ‮ ‬ފަތިވަރުތަށް‮ ‬ހަމައެކަނި‮ ‬ލޮގިންކޮށްގެން‮ ‬ފެންނަގޮތަށް‮ ‬ހެދުން‮.‬‮ ‬އެ‮ފަދަ‮ ‬ޓޮޕް‮ ‬ސީކްރެޓް‮ ‬ކޮންޕިރެސީތައް‮ ‬ފެނިފައި‮ ‬ޖޭމްސް‮ ‬ބޮންޑު‮ ‬އައިސް‮ ‬ސައިޓު‮ ‬ހެކުއަރުވާލަފާނެ‮.‬

ރުގިއްޔާ‮ ‬ސިއްރުން‮ ‬ބަންނަން‮ ‬އުޅޭ‮ ‬އޮޑީގަތެރެޔައް‮ ‬އެރެއޮވެ‮ ‬ސައިޓައް‮ ‬ކުޅުޖެހުން‮.‬

މިކަންކަން‮ ‬މިވަގުތުން‮ ‬ވަގުތަށް‮ ‬ނުކޮއްފިނަމަ‮ ‬ސައިޓު‮ ‬ބަންޑުންގޮސް‮ ‬ދިވެހީންނަކީ‮ ‬ކަނޑުކޮސް‮ ‬ބަޔެއްނޫންކަން‮ ‬ސައިޓު‮ ‬ހަދާ‮ ‬ހަރަދުކުރާފަރާތައް ‬ފަޅާއަރާފާނެއެވެ‮.‬‮ ‬އިހުތިރާމު‮.‬‮ ‬ﷲގެ‮ ‬ކުޅަދުން‮ ‬ވަތަކަމުގެ‮ ‬ކޮޅެއްނެތެވެ‮.‬

ޑރ‮.‬‮ ‬ޑީއެސް‮ ‬ޕީ‮ ‬އެޗް‮ ‬ޑީ‮ ‬އެމް‮ ‬ފިލް‮ ‬ޕީ‮ ‬އެޗް‮ ‬ޑީ‮ ‬ޓޫ‮

An accident near Alivaage, Male', Maldives tonight

People were gathered near Alivaage. I thought Illabe (president's brother in-law) has done something again. He was banished (to Singapore) and house arrested in the 90s for attempting to overthrow the president internally influencing parliamentarians and cabinet members. Illabe himself held few Ministerial portfolios at that time including Defense Minister. When Gayyoom discovered the plan, state radio, TV and newspaper defamed him with allegations of corruption, sexual harassment and black magic. His brother Abbabe was also removed from the cabinet and until now is unable to get any solid post back. Illabe is powerful and is connected to the largest corporations of Maldives (via marriage links and others). Illabe (& his sister Natti & their mother) were able to black mail Gayyoom to win back a ministerial post (just one this time) and cleared all charges and erased the memory of that incident and the media statements from the peoples minds using rocket science. Audio tape and Sato case is another story magicians disappeared using blue magic.

Unfortunately people gathered near Alivaage tonight were not attending another performance by Illabe and his magicians. I heard from an onlooker that two cars collided. I did not stop. Just rode the Wave with my closest friend engaged in our never-ending conversation about society, the world, the universe and beyond.

Half and hour later we came back to the site. Most people were gone by then. A group of about 10 men of ages between 30 an 40 where around the area. I over head one saying... "...it was coming the wrong way... the boy was driving too fast...". A block away another group of men over 40 saying "... he was drunk... drugs would have been involved... police did not do anything... he will be out tomorrow hitting another innocent man...". another block away this time a group of middle aged women were gathered discussing "...his mother is married to her 3rd husband... his father is known to have extra-marital sex... his bother is illegitimate... his sister is a slut..." and so on.

We just rode our ride. Peacefully within ourself.

Happy Birthday to Flickr, 25 square pixels of fame

Flickr is a website for non-proffesional Maldivian snappers to spend time bonding and getting attention. Here are some testimonials from some of the addicted Maldivian flickr-graphers.

"Flickr can make anyone feel really happy on a gloomy day. Specially if you upload a bad photograph" == a newbie 25

"My life was full of downs. Nothing seemed to work out well for me. I am highly educated in Mathematics but I could not get any work done. So I joined the Flickr group. Now I'm superb. My mobile phone pictures has got number one on many hourly Flickr competitions. I FEEL GOOD" == a 38 year old

"Flickr is the place. It's so Fucking cool. Fuck.. oops can I say Fuck on the net?" == a cool dude 18

"For each Super comment I write. I get two Excellent comments and a smiley. I will never leave this place" == 22 year old son of a carpenter

"Some Maldives Flickr people are very helpful. They help me find nice crops.. and they help me understand a good ISO... and out of all they love me as I am" == a member of Unique Maldives Group

"I used to hate Flickr.... it looked so stupid... the way these people try to be pros with pro accounts... but now I love it. because flickr loves you. and we get free meetings every week.... now sponsored by major businesses of Maldives.." == a taxi driver turned semi-pro-photographer's helper

The party at Seahouse was very lovely. Although there was a small rumor that part of the funding raised for the event went to the pockets of some of the organizers, that was not a problem.

At the end we all knew that everyone will have their own 25 pixel squares of fame when the pictures appear on each others Flickr. We were all advised to quickly mark the face with 25 pixel squares and put a name. I just marked me on some of the Flickr users. I'm getting so much attention now.

Before tourists starting giving dollars to Maldives people, our fathers were all good fishermen who used net very well. we stayed alive by fishing and climbing on coconut trees and of course reproducing. The new generation of fishermen has a different kind of net. they don't work like the fathers but they surf. very fast speed very expensive. but the tourists pay for these. one of the fish that caught up on all these people's net is a fish called Flickr.

Hassaney is getting married to Reyshma with small boobs

A tiring week for me. A friend of a friend is planning to get married. His name is Hassaney.

Who is Hassaney:
Hassaney has a Honda Eliminator 250 Hp motor cycle with two engine silencers. He rides his motor cycle (Saiku) as fast as he can on the busiest highways of Male'. A lot of girls like his Saiku which is also nicknamed Devil. Hassaney chooses girls with large b(.)(.)bs to go for rides on his Devil. These girls keep their b(.)(.)bs firmly pressed against Hassaneys burakashi as Hassaney races all his adrenaline out of him. Girls hold him as tight as they can and the faster he races the tighter they hold on. Hassaney's Devil is really Kaamiyaabu. The Devil is one of the badi-est in Male'.

Who is Hassaney's wife to be:
Her name is Reyshma. She wears glasses. I used to see her going to school with a pile of books covering her almost non-existent b..bs. She never looks at others. Straight from her house to school. If at night accompanied by her brother. She also wears a buruga. She's a homely girl. Hassaney wants to make her his wife. Because Hassaney is sure that Reyshma will stay at home reading the latest story books of Nahla and watching the latest Nahla's films while Hassaney races on the Devil with b(.)(.)bs. And not surprisingly Reyshma has not yet have had the privilege to ride the Devil. (probably she'll never have).

The Room:
Hassaney lives with his extended family consisting of 3 couples and 5 children plus the grandma and grandpa (Hassaney's mom and dad). The house is not small but not big either. It's about 850 sq feet. Each of the married members of the family has somehow managed to squeeze a room of space into this 850sq feet. It's magical. Hassaney's going to be the 5th room in the house. A part of the kitchen and a potion from his brother's toilet was taken for Hassaney's room. Sitting room of the house is already taken for a previously wedded brother. Hassaney's room is in an awkward shape.

This year is Hassaney's year. Hassaney wants the best room for him and his Reyshma. A bedroom set is a must. Hassaney borrowed money from all his family, friends and friend's friends to buy the best bedroom set from Parkway Furniture (a Goldenlane shop). He has managed to ignore the payments for his Devil motorcycle for years.

I was involved in constructing the room for him. I was among the few who helped paint his room. Purple color with a brownish pattern. Paint is bought from A.H Brothers. Hassaney also bought a mini-bar fridge for his room. We are going to put the King size bed in his room tomorrow. Tonight Hassaney has to decided whether to alter the bed or move the dressing table to the toilet. The aircond people will come tomorrow as well.

And then comes the wedding party preparation! Hassaney is a lucky man.

What is the coolest cafe in Male'?

Hello friends in the blogs. I have returned from my island. Good news is my boss has increased my salary.

WOW!

Now I have got more money to spend than I usually have. What is a useful thing to do? Here are the options I have:

Save the money at a bank
Send the money to my family in the island
Save the money and buy a huge LCD TV and a VCD player
or I've got a better idea!

Have coffee with friends in cool cafes. So far I have gone to coffee only very few times and always it's someone else who pays for my coffee. I go to Hotaas a lot. I go there with friends from the island. I eat. Food is good. We say a few fun jokes to the waiters. Everyone is so peaceful and down to earth in the Hotaas. But day by day my friends are not coming to Hotaas with me. They think Hotaas are not cool.

So since last week I've been going to cafes! People are so cool. Everyone is talking about big things. Resorts. Cars and Big shops. Waiters wear very nice uniforms. No Food. But coffee.

Now I know that people calls coffee Lavaza. I think it's Coffee in Australian language. I go and order "One Lavaza Milk". And they bring a bottle of water and some Dhufaa saamanu (nuts) along with it. And the cost, I end up paying more than I would have if I were to eat a whole meal at a non-cool hotaa. But I think it's worth it. Though the cafe experience is so much more expensive I love to be part of the cool circle. Now I need to buy some hair gel. They say the girls will smile at me if I put it.

Can anyone recommend a good cafe? What is the coolest cafe in male'? and which table should I choose?

NEW MANDATE FOR THE BLOGOSPHERE MEETING

I have been reading about the Maldivians blogosphere meeting. Blogosphere has made people like me to take time out of our day to day life and write a little bit on. I sometimes go out to by two kilos of lemon for my boss and jump into a cyber to write a post. Flickr users are already sold out to unrealistic dreams. Only a few 'friends' will benifit from it. Rest will go down with it.

Now a person from Ekuveringe forum who is already linked with ministries is hosting the maldives blogosphere meeting which promotes agendas of the corrupt dictatorship. I know that a lot of bloggers are amused about the meeting up. The public relation firm is aiming at targeting bloggers now because organizations like Lawyers With No Borders watch the blogsphere. I was prisoned for not starting a letter with praise to Gayyom. This was just a love letter I sent to one of my old girlfriends. Did you magically forget all the news papers that were silenced. Look at all the writers tortured in prison.

Rasheed is reaching out to you as a friend in 'informal' conditions. And for generations we are all lead to believe that if we have good connections on higher levels we can do anything. But don't get trapped in it. It's just an illusion. Like the Air Ports in our atolls, like the Bridges between our islands, like the jetties in our islands, like the Ports in Hanimaadhoo and other dhoos. Like the FPID project. They are all very nice dreams. Dhoonidhoo Torture centure is real for sure. Think of all the killings. Secretive and non. And the funny thing is people still fall for it. Rebel and disturb them. Take advantage of them, without letting them take advantage of you, by letting them favor some friends of them for your control.

NEW MANDATE FOR THE BLOGOSPHERE MEETING:

1. If any one giving a speech in the meeting praise any defender of the Dictator. Boo him and tell him that he's an "ass kisser".
2. Rebel. but don't forget to eat all the food. Also have a food fight.
3. Get in to the depth of people who is funding the event. Find out their hidden agenda.
4. Take all your friends with you listed on myspace, mvblogs, blogger or Identity card unit. Even better if listed on dhoonidhoo shopping list.
5. Dont forget the tortures our writers have gone through. Bring that up.

Remember you are fighting for your freedom to blog, dont let them take it away from you.

See you all at Salsa.

Warning: Flickr Pro users are not professional photographers!

Today I was cutting fish, and I thought, ah! I should get a flickr account. Then I called Hassanbe and asked him if it was a good idea. He laughed and said to me that I should rather become a lawyer. He thought everyone writing on blogspot is a lawyer with lawyeristic qualifications. Then I looked up and the gecko said 'cho cho cho', that means it's true. I just buried my dream to become a flickrerpher. Until I saw Jinattey taking pictures of the sun with his mobile phone in different angles. He said I'm a pro now. Some old man from English land has bought him a flickr pro account thinking that he was a exotic island girl. He was very happy, the old guy wrote a testimonial on his flickr. It sounded pervetish.. but it was ok for Jinattey, who actually never reads these. He writes and receives very "excellent" comments on his flickr.

Overnight he has become a professional. It was that easy. My friend's friend went to America to study photography. I asked him if he has a flickr. He said no. I thought studying in America had not made him a professional. Then I thought ok, how come there are so many pro flickrs people in our island? The answer is very simple. "anyone who can click can be a pro" said Riyaazey. Information minister Rasheed has promised them multi million dollar photography options. I'm a lawyer now. I can blog.

For the naked eye of me, it is really beautiful all the photos they take. Specially those who are on explore, everyone is on explore btw. Flickr is very friendly that way. We all win. My friend's friend is jobless now, all his effort wasted. But we have another breed of photographers. Just like what happens in the government. Anyone with any kind of education or training is side-lined...