How and why online delivery services will fail in the squire-mile capital Male'

by our very cool geeky looking icon of online correspondent

It capitalizes on other failures.

1. FAILURE OF PEOPLE: to get up on their own butts and get it and make the courts independent. Obviously anyone using this service would have an iphone like phone and a wave like motorcycle and would be familiar with lavaza culture. And people will never fail!

2. FAILURE OF MALE' PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEM: though the government has pledged to connect all islands, our Male' municipality has yet to employ someone with the capacity to conceive the necessity here. Perhaps the local council elections will change this.

3. FAILIURE TO RECOGNIZE THE POTENTIAL MARKET FOR THE RESTAURANTS: most restaurants already has this service. Its very few places like Seahouse that are still technologically a little behind without an online menu for delivery. But this is destined to change which would leave only the bad ones like Hotel Baadhalaa 2 for deliveries.

If not absorbed by a restaurant chain which can be advertised as "Lemongrass buys out fancyname.com for an undisclosed sum" equivalent to a fraction of money that would easily do a basic website for them. Thus this modern day aigaadiyaa dhemun delivery will not sustain. Sorry cool guys. It's not as bad as wataniya's new website though. But we'll only know how from a future podcast about this. I really love that.

Innovative review of our http://smoke.machine.mv

Great idea from the greatest of the new hybrid innovators of the technological venture capitalist of the internet of this Maldives

I sit here very busy doing my dot coms and pod casts and taking pictures of pod casts and making videos about this. It makes me very famous and makes me feel very technologically advanced, specially among me and my five or six friends who I like to go and have coffee sometimes with and talk about my greatest of all the innovations, the names I choose, and me me and me. The most innovative group me, the tech guy who likes to look like a geek icon, believe it or not, listen to my pod cast you'll know what I mean. So clean and great.

And today as I was recording my podcast we have got the greatest idea and now i have secured a dot come. The http://smoke.machine.mv. This is a dot come machine I am inventive with my other counter part who also has the same name as me, but he's not the CEO but the Junior CEO of Innovation and Invocation. Very geeky and advance only the very new american teeny boppers will understand what I'm saying, because these are so very cool things we are doing, so from the heart of silicon valley (near faafu atollhu velidhoo).

This new product is for hithaanu season, specially for this year 2010 and 2011. Everybody get ready for Haaburi and sing and dance, Tharbe and the girly boys. Now with a ipod app called smoke.machine.mv (our latest venture) you can make smoke come out of any home from your mobile phone app. This is done in very quick 5 minute programming done by our tech staff which he build a unix pipe that connects to Majeedhee magu and the dust is converted to smoke and send to the hithaanu house! All this for free. More baout this on out next pod cast be ready for sweet and juice details!!!

Love you all!

Hajja Day

Today (or tomorrow) we Maldivians mark the international day of Hajja. Today is the day all of us gather near Yasir Arafath and listen to the Friday prayers. The Hajja-Al-Wadhaa by late Maumoon Gayyoom was the most remarkable journey of human kind. All population of Male' gather near Endherimaage Maalam to pray and listen to the Last Sermon by Gayyoom (P.B.U.P). In his sermon he relates to the past, present and future of monkeys and apes and DRP members who is also MDP.

His closest of the friends Abu-Bakru-al-Zaki said Gayyoom is the never lying father of our religion called Extremism. Hajja is an extreme buddy who goes around naked wearing no underwear circling around a Kaubathul House of Fulhu. Fulhu is an very old and best activist of MDP. We love Hajja and Eid Mubaarik.

Note: Hajja will be circumcised from tomorrow. Party at house all night with shemales and winged pigs (free from bird and swine roaga) dancing in each others clothes.

A Burugaa for Hajja

Hajja wants me to make a dress for her to wear on for the Alha-Eid ceremony (Muslim Halloween) after Hajj (not to be confused with sexy Hajja). Hajja wears burugaa and very tight long sleeved t-shirts and a summer dress with a bra won top of that. she wears jeans fitting her butt and legs like a butt-glove.

I proposed for her to take a naked picture of her and print it on the t-shirt she wears. Printed boobs matching her real. This would qualify as a cover for her large bosoms. And then to buy a wig from Watsons of Male' (Fresh Air Shop) and wear it over her head. Our local Mulla sheikh says it will fulfill the Burugaa Commandment. Tomorrow our friend photo Jihattey is coming to take the naked pics of her. And we have bought T-shirt transfer paper to print it. If anyone wanna join drop by our studio, preferably naked.

Ifthah Ya Sim Sim and Sheik Afrasim

Years of watching Ifthah Ya Sim Sim on TVM specially on the long mornings of fridays made my Arabic better than ever before. Watching them run and ride bicycles on the streets of Arab world taught me how to run and ride bicycles. Haazaa Kithaab, this is a blog. Some of my friends were very deep into this Ifthah Ya Sim Sim. They went to Mauhadh Dhiraasathul Islamiyya and passed each grade with Jayyed Jiddan reports. Masha Allah to all of them.

When TVM cut this show the younger generation were unable to get a nicer Arabic introduction. They were forced to leave to Pakistan and do Madhrasa Sim Sim where they leaned how to imitate riding of camels and horses. These are the people experiencing an identity crisis these days. You will see it very clearly from the fashion they adopt.

I want our children to watch Ifthah Ya Sim Sim and Sesame Street. I will tell our Kutti who runs a useless ministry this. It will close our religious divide instead of plugging in some AfraSim Sim.

Two people walking near IGMH today

Around 5:30pm near IGMH I waited on my Wave 100 for a friend. Golden light rays of the setting sun reflected off the gray pavements of Male' lighting up the dust from the ongoing traffic when my gaze focused on two elderly men in their late 40s walking towards me. They were engaged in a viscous conversation. One person was wearing a checkered gray and black short-sleeved shirt untucked and a dark brown trouser. The other a red t-shirt and a similar trouser. Their clothes looked reasonably worn out and desaturated possibly due to the quality of the materials, the detergent (or no detergent) the purity of water used for washing them and extended periods of exposure to bright sunlight. They were both engaged in each other deeply. From the few words I heard it seemed like a conversation about another person who lives with them.

They went past me I had my gazed locked on to them when the guy wearing the checkered shirt stopped in front of a house with a blue wooden door and cleared his nose with one swift motion of the thumb and index finger of his right hand. The mucus that came out was thrown near the blue door. The conversation continued with it's flow and the two people walked on.

My friend came out and we left off on the Wave like a wave.

A very Happy News

I was working really hard in the office this afternoon when suddenly my phone started vibrating. I checked my phone and it was my sis calling. I thought something big happened but on the other end she was sounding very happy. phew!! her happy tone calmed me alot :)

And we were having a very happy sisterly talk when she came up with this happy news. One of her very closest friend is living in Malaysia with her family. She has 2 little beautiful princess aged 4 and 2 (Lulu and Laiko). well, it seems that sister told her friend to check my bloggy.

And she checked...like others she wasn't xpecting much i guess. However, all of a sudden this bloggy of mine cast a magical spell on them. This has become one of the really interesting and cool blogs. And the most important part was Lulu and Laiko loved this bloggy and they didn't even let their mom to comment even :)

Anyways Rash ill try to make my blog more interesting for everyone.

And thanks sis it was a really happy news that relieved me from the tense mood i was having b4 u called. love you all :)

edited the names and reposted from here. Thank you. It's so inspiring.

Paper 3/1987: Dichotomy of manifestations raised on appropriating Fatloon in place of Mundu among small island men: An indepth analysis.

By My Mother.

Dhohokko (1985) in his unpublished paper writes "when a country is westernized, men will wear trousers". Dhohokko is one of the leading cultural pseudo-anthropologists from United Kashidhoo (UK). His patent pending “cultural litmus configuration” tests revealed that Mundu is the only covering necessary for the small island nation men.

On the contrary Dr. Rakisbondu (2015) said that ideas like Dhohokko’s are just too old. Younger homosapiens of small islands are wired with 200 Kilobytes per second of MTV and Internet. Dr. Rakisbondu is an advocate of Jeans for men. His research in University of Menchester United shows that wearing Jeans strengthens “Shavhiyani” chromosome of the small island men. Dr. Dr. Latheefa who is holding a double Ph.D writes on her blog that “Riveted jeans can cause social disharmony leading to socioeconomic congressional dispologamy.” Dr. Dr. Latheefa is an advocate of round necked frocks for the countries ‘xy’ chromosomed hummus erectus.

Ibrhahim Dhee Dhee working as an assistant umbrella in the MET office said that Dr. Dr. Latheefa’s papers are not understandable. “They have a tone of very Doctorness. But it is full of misinformation and logical fallacy”. Then he said “a dichotomy is what we seek and dichotomy is what we get” referring to a dark object which looks like a burned thelli babukeyo. “Although Dr. Dr. Latheefa wears Mundu anything she blubbers is considered sinister” (Bus Driver Rasheed 2000).

(Only very educated people comment will be accepted for this post)