NEW MANDATE FOR THE BLOGOSPHERE MEETING

I have been reading about the Maldivians blogosphere meeting. Blogosphere has made people like me to take time out of our day to day life and write a little bit on. I sometimes go out to by two kilos of lemon for my boss and jump into a cyber to write a post. Flickr users are already sold out to unrealistic dreams. Only a few 'friends' will benifit from it. Rest will go down with it.

Now a person from Ekuveringe forum who is already linked with ministries is hosting the maldives blogosphere meeting which promotes agendas of the corrupt dictatorship. I know that a lot of bloggers are amused about the meeting up. The public relation firm is aiming at targeting bloggers now because organizations like Lawyers With No Borders watch the blogsphere. I was prisoned for not starting a letter with praise to Gayyom. This was just a love letter I sent to one of my old girlfriends. Did you magically forget all the news papers that were silenced. Look at all the writers tortured in prison.

Rasheed is reaching out to you as a friend in 'informal' conditions. And for generations we are all lead to believe that if we have good connections on higher levels we can do anything. But don't get trapped in it. It's just an illusion. Like the Air Ports in our atolls, like the Bridges between our islands, like the jetties in our islands, like the Ports in Hanimaadhoo and other dhoos. Like the FPID project. They are all very nice dreams. Dhoonidhoo Torture centure is real for sure. Think of all the killings. Secretive and non. And the funny thing is people still fall for it. Rebel and disturb them. Take advantage of them, without letting them take advantage of you, by letting them favor some friends of them for your control.

NEW MANDATE FOR THE BLOGOSPHERE MEETING:

1. If any one giving a speech in the meeting praise any defender of the Dictator. Boo him and tell him that he's an "ass kisser".
2. Rebel. but don't forget to eat all the food. Also have a food fight.
3. Get in to the depth of people who is funding the event. Find out their hidden agenda.
4. Take all your friends with you listed on myspace, mvblogs, blogger or Identity card unit. Even better if listed on dhoonidhoo shopping list.
5. Dont forget the tortures our writers have gone through. Bring that up.

Remember you are fighting for your freedom to blog, dont let them take it away from you.

See you all at Salsa.

Warning: Flickr Pro users are not professional photographers!

Today I was cutting fish, and I thought, ah! I should get a flickr account. Then I called Hassanbe and asked him if it was a good idea. He laughed and said to me that I should rather become a lawyer. He thought everyone writing on blogspot is a lawyer with lawyeristic qualifications. Then I looked up and the gecko said 'cho cho cho', that means it's true. I just buried my dream to become a flickrerpher. Until I saw Jinattey taking pictures of the sun with his mobile phone in different angles. He said I'm a pro now. Some old man from English land has bought him a flickr pro account thinking that he was a exotic island girl. He was very happy, the old guy wrote a testimonial on his flickr. It sounded pervetish.. but it was ok for Jinattey, who actually never reads these. He writes and receives very "excellent" comments on his flickr.

Overnight he has become a professional. It was that easy. My friend's friend went to America to study photography. I asked him if he has a flickr. He said no. I thought studying in America had not made him a professional. Then I thought ok, how come there are so many pro flickrs people in our island? The answer is very simple. "anyone who can click can be a pro" said Riyaazey. Information minister Rasheed has promised them multi million dollar photography options. I'm a lawyer now. I can blog.

For the naked eye of me, it is really beautiful all the photos they take. Specially those who are on explore, everyone is on explore btw. Flickr is very friendly that way. We all win. My friend's friend is jobless now, all his effort wasted. But we have another breed of photographers. Just like what happens in the government. Anyone with any kind of education or training is side-lined...

Zaki and the Jinni 1/101

Happily King Gayoom lived in the jungle with his family. One day along came a boy from the House of Chains. His name is Zaki. He grew up to become an ambassador of King Gayoom. He delivers the King's messages. One day Zaki mounted his horse and journeyed to a neighbouring country with a letter from the king. Halfway Zaki stopped over in luxury. He ate some grapes, dates and drank his usual. But he threw the seed of his date to an alleyway outside. To his suprise he was stunned a great big enormous Jinni. The Jinni was very furious and threatened to kill Zaki, claiming that Zaki had killed the Jinni's son with the seed of the date. Zaki said he never meant to kill anyone. Eating dates (including champa, universal and endheyri brand) during the king's missions allowed him build 10 story buildings, purchase houses from neighbouring countries and 'earn' shares from large resorts during the time everyone else was in an economic crisis. But the Jinni didn't care, and he raised his sword up to kill Zaki.

Zaki closed his eyes and started muttering some last words... "Oh my great Jinni, I have a family of few wives, girlfriends and kids here and there, and I owe many people money, please let me finish what I have to do in this world and come back to you on the first day of the next year, and I promise that I will come; by all the Gods you and I believe in".

The Jinni let Zaki go back home to finish his deals. Zaki started to repent and sort things out. But time ran out before he could finish. On the 1st day of the next year, Zaki showered, put on his death clothes and left on his horse to the Jinni alleyway, waiting for his death. While he was waiting came a doctor with a cow. A doctor Munnavvar. When he asked Zaki why he was so frightened and why he was waiting in a Jinni alley, Zaki explained his story. And then Munnavvar said he will also wait with Zaki.

Suddenly the Jinni came with his sword and as he was about to take revenge for the death of his son, Munnavvar spoke out, and said "Shall I tell you about my cow, before you kill Zaki." The jinni was anxious to listen to the story of Munnavvar's cow. Munnavvar said, "she was my wife. I married her 20 years ago. She couldn't bear children. Then I married a slave girl with whom I have got a lovely daughter, who was supposedly studying in English Clouds but currently in Malay Clouds fully funded by Universal Education System."

End of Part One of One hundred and One.

Behind Minister Kutti's blog writing desk is MR Hill

Today I met Kutti Nasheed. He's a good friend of my boss. Kutti visits our house regularly. I bring juice to him. I asked him about his blog. He said "What did you say? My clog?" He was not sure what a blog is. Then he said: "aah.. that.. Mr. Hill and Mr. Knwolton... They said something like that..., they also took a long interview of me... I had to talk about my fistula, and medula obligada. They call me every day... I was just hoping that they were doing some kind of a survey for Golhaa, or I was hoping to get a job from UK..."

Which made me certain that Kutti's blog is the last desperate PR stunt by the failing H&K in the Maldives. "They are not doing anything as we guide them.. " said MR. Knowlton furiously.

Orgy at Islamic Centre

It was 9pm in one of the darkest night of June 2005. Phone rang inside the bedroom. The bedroom of Gayyoom. He whispered into the phone. Slowly he went to the bathroom and washed his face. Nashreena woke up, half dazed, and asked "who was it on the phone?". Gayyoom answered "It was Adam Zahir... We are having an emergency cabinet meeting, I'm leaving now". Nashreena replied "with your pyjamas?". Gayyoom said "don't have enough time to change..."

Gayyoom rushed outside from the backdoor. No one noticed him since he was not dressed as usual. He walked to the Islamic Centre and went towards the conference room. As he opened the door he heard the sounds. The sounds he hears on every occasion like this. It was sexy electronic music. And he was greeted by Adam and the gang. "man, you are late, we started without you". Gayyoom has never been late for any of these 'emergency cabinet meetings'. Gayyoom said, "Natti started asking all sorts of questions, so i had to distract her".

Gayyoom's pyjamas were soon removed by two naked girls. Gayyoom is one of the most vigorous members of these orgies they have. Gayyoom started his regular welcome dance. People describe the moves as retro seventies style twisting combined with Michael Jacksonic brake dancing with a hint of arabic belly dancing flavour. This is the center of the show. In one corner a drunk Fathulla was wrapped up in a set of naked teenage girls. There was Gasim, Ibrahim hussein Zaki and Munavar on one side naked in a drinking contest. Anni was naked holding his yellow underwear up as high as he can. The underwear has the words "Get up! Stand up!". Soon the whole conference room is filled with smoke from the pot Adam has brought for everyone. And the sounds of electronic music is well in sync with the mood in the room. Though it was the first time Dr. Shaheed was allowed to this special cabinet meeting, he was not too unfamiliar with the procedure... so many naked girls, so beautiful. Ilyas arranges an unlimited supply.

In this erotic dreamlike scenario Gayyoom was able to notice the absence of his old friend Zahir Hussain tonight. But it was not a big deal. They continued enjoying the night until they heard the calling for Fathis namaadh. At which time DJ Headmaster Umar Zahir stopped the music and ordered everyone to get ready to go. Blending in with the pious people going out from the namaadh, the members of the cabinet meeting slowly walked out home. This time Gayyoom was sure that he saw Zahir leaving out of his house. But he was cool with it, he was aware about the deal with Zahir and Nasreena. And Natti was aware of what these 'special cabinet meetings' really are.

This is a summary of a scene from a fictional film. Any similarities to any person or an event in real is purely coincidental.

Theory of underwater Endheri growing on Villa in the sky

To prove his loyalty to the family of the First Lady of Maldives (Endheri), he had to do more than just cleaning fish and preparing snacks for their brunch break. During the 28 years the current president has been in power and more, the Endheri family has been draining money from the people of Maldives in more than just taking different kinds of bribes from businesses such as Universal Enterprises.

Gasim is the most loyal servant the family has ever had. Gasim runs the businesses of Endheri family under his own name. Endheri family needed clean people to roll their corrupt businesses in Maldives without being too suspicious. Gasim is one of the people they use. Gasim is able to deceive the majority of poor Maldivians by contributing a very small portion of what they have embezzled to the community in more forms than just sending few people a month to a house in India for cheap medical treatments. Gasim's Endheri businesses fund high class education and medical treatment for family members of key government officers.

Gasim proves money can buy anything
Gasim is currently the vice president of Gayyoom's DRP, and Gasim is the highest open financial contributor to opposition MDP. He has also financially contributed to individual MDP parliament members, MDP aligned news websites such as his adviser Sappe's Dhivehi Observer and Minivan News. His financial contributions revived MDP aligned Adduvas Magazine, his associated companies advertise on Minivan Daily and other MDP aligned media. A lot of parliament members or their family either works for Gasim's businesses or have associated businesses with him.

He claims to be the richest Maldivian, he's the finance minister of Maldives and recently he was (s)elected as the president of the people's Majlis. Endheri family is smiling now. Their puppet is still the most loyal servant they got. And he has managed to buy both major political parties of Maldives.

Jennifer Latheef protesting on world press freedom day

Jennifer Latheef (Jenny) has gone through transformations in more ways than we can keep track of. Today she can be a photographer for Minivan, tomorrow she's working for NASA (maldives branch). But you will never know what she was doing yesterday - for safety reasons.

(photo by: Jeniffer Latheef)